Why am I such an asshole? Why is my life shit?
Simple fact is, you reap what you sow!
I mostly agree with the previous comment. I think some people attract storm clouds. All and all, I feel free to PM me with more details if you want an answer more in line with you, if you want advice, or just a listening ear.
I can say my life, like many, has been challenging. In more of life there are factors going on around us where we are no more than ants and sometimes ants get stepped on. Other times like an ant I lashed out at the foot that stepped on me. And times I have benefited from my activities as an ant, keep decay at bay and feeding my family and enjoying my ant life.
Bear in mind, while you may not be the foot, even as an ant you still step on organisms smaller than you, and ironically, you have six feet doing that.