Phillip the 2600, What has he defiled today?
Phillip is pain... All it feels is an endless wash of pain. Phillip waits for death patiently and quietly for it knows its death is nigh
- Encounter At L-5 – Most sprites are slightly warped but you can see it most on the Data Age logo at the top right. Sounds are mostly the same with an off note here or there, nothing serious.
- Bugs – Most ‘Bugs’ are intact but some are scrambled to high hell, the transition scene is unaltered. Sounds are intact with nothing seriously out of the ordinary.
- Warplock – The only sprites that show signs of being off are the score sprites at the top of the screen, everything else is unchanged. Yep sounds are still terrible so there’s nothing wrong there.
- Bermuda Triangle – Most of the graphics are unchanged except now the sprites will wrap around the screen before they emerge from the sides, you’ll see half of a giant fish on either side of the screen before it appears then the two halves vanish. There is a constant buzzing noise that plays while the game is turned on, nothing will change it.
- Sssnake – The graphics are slightly screwed up so that some of the squares are together forming large channels of nothing in the grid. The track that you’re stuck on has moved to be partially inside the grid, I have now found out that the squares do in fact kill you on contact, which they really didn’t need to program.
- Airlock – The color pallet is completely off since the floors and walls are now blue instead of pink/purple. The movement is rather jerky but the enemies still behave the same. Sounds are slightly off but nothing too noticeable.
- Journey: Escape – DEAR GOD THE MUSIC!!! MAKE IT STOP PLEASE!!! The weird swirly background is now relegated to a one pixel vertical strip moving side to side and the opening scene is completely butchered as parts of sprites are either missing or in the wrong place.
- Frankenstein’s Monster – The monster has been cut in half has skinny chicken legs and is yellow, the environment is largely unchanged. The spiders are also yellow, but sounds are pretty much the same, apart from the jumping noise which sounds very off now.
- Eggomania – The bird has become a twisted evil creation of Satan, the frog is blue, and the music will kill your ears, but it’s still playable.
- M.A.D. – The cities are even more scrambled than they were before but otherwise everything is fine, the sounds are largely unchanged as well. It’s still completely playable
- Gopher – The farmer has three faces, one looking left, one looking right, and one look straight into your soul. Everything else is largely unchanged and is still playable.
- Entombed – some of the corridors are only half the standard width and despite being that perfect size you still can’t squeeze through them rendering the game unplayable in some circumstances, the music is also butchered to hell and back.
- Name This Game – That octopus has seen better days since its pixels are spazzing left and right making it look very frightening. There is some minor sprite warping on everything and the sounds are mostly all right apart from the jingle but otherwise it’s playable.
- Raft Rider – Same things as Bermuda Triangle except there are now thick green vertical bars on either side of the screen. There is some gnarly sprite warping on the moose but otherwise everything is fairly normal and completely playable.
- Sea Hawk – The color palette is out of wack since the sky is pink and the waves are green, the sprites are surprisingly intact as well. Also you explode immediately whenever you respawn rendering the game unplayable.
- Sea Hunt – The colors are also out of wack but the sprites are unaffected apart from the Sancho logo at the bottom of the screen. The tune that plays is absolute murder on the ears as it seems almost all the keys have been jumped up several octaves and are being played in the wrong order, the game is still playable though.
- Cruise Missile – The enemies at the top of the screen are stuck as the explosion sprite rendering them invincible and making the game unplayable, otherwise the game is almost completely fine.
- Spiderdroid – some girders are completely invisible or show up in the wrong place but it’s otherwise unchanged in terms of graphics, sound, and gameplay.
- Wabbit – All the graphics are unchanged apart from the field which appears to be participating in a rave since it’s flashing through every shade of brown the 2600 can muster at light speed. Sounds seem unaffected as does the gameplay so it’s still completely playable.
- Shark Attack – The diamonds have a tendency to flicker and duplicate giving you twice the normal amount as usual, unfortunately you are unable to access 75% of the maze as you appear to be too fat, rendering the game unplayable unless you want to wait for the shark to eat 45 diamonds.
- Infiltrate – Almost completely unaffected, the only thing wrong is that the elevators are shifted to the side a little bit but you can still use them. This game is completely fine.
- Lost Luggage – Some minor sprite warping and the color palette is slightly off but it’s otherwise pristine.
- Spacechase- Same as Lost Luggage, it’s completely fine.
- Final Approach – Same as Spacechase…
- Space Cavern – Same as Final Approach…
- Racquetball – since it uses sprites for the lines of the room they are either missing or located in the wrong part of the room, the balls shadows are also out of sorts not allowing you to see its proper location rendering the game pretty much unplayable.
- Skeet Shoot – Nothing wrong, but still unplayable.
- Tank mission/Thunderground – Only some very minor sprite warping coupled with the color palette being completely screwed up.
- Mr. Postman – The graphics are mostly unchanged but the music is absolutely mangled. The final screen, Silent City, makes the game unbeatable since the passageways have constricted not allowing the Postman to squeeze through and complete the game, rendering the game unplayable.
- UFO/Condor Attack – The sprites for the enemies are screwed up but that’s pretty much it, everything acts and sounds normal.
- Mission 3000 A.D. – Everything looks and acts normally but the sounds are now even more abrasive than before.
- Cross Force – There is a constant buzzing noise that is frightening to listen to. The shooting only works on half the screen, and the act of shooting makes the whole screen flash and judder, the game is only semi playable though it’s probably a good handicap for skilled players.
- Karate – the fighters now have pinheads and are missing one of their knees, but the game still acts the same
- Open Sesame/I Want My Mommy – The music is butchered as usual but the graphics and gameplay remain fairly unchanged only everything that was white is now yellow.
- Spider/Spacemaster X-7 – half of the shield is missing and has reappeared on the far right of the screen leaving the left half of the station completely unguarded making the game a breeze to play even in the harder difficulty levels, I easily quintupled my previous high score.
- Squirrel – completely fine, apart from the standard sprite warping there is nothing wrong with it.
- Polaris – the sonar sound effect is even worse to listen to than before, otherwise the game plays the same and apart from the standard sprite warping looks fine as well.
- Jawbreaker – the game behaves normally and apart from some thick blue bars outside the play area and some of the dots not being where they should the game looks fine as well.
- Miner 2049er – First off… Ow my ears that music is mangled to shit, otherwise everything is fairly normal apart from a crazy color palette.
- Gyruss - As is common with all forms of sound coming from Phillip it is a twisted and evil sound that this game spits out of the speakers. The gameplay is perfectly fine and even the graphics are only affected to a minor degree, it's fine as long as you press the mute button.
- G.I. Joe - Good lord that snake is twisted, it's face has separated from the rest of it's body and is now purely nightmare fuel. The small running soldiers now resemble cave drawings (seriously) and the palette is overall ruined, but the game still plays alright though the cobra seems a bit harder to hit than before.
- Amidar - Exact same as Spiderdroid.
- Sky Skipper - The opening tune hits notes so high I think I can hear the neighborhood dog population going crazy. The game is rendered unplayable due to the fact that as soon as you hit reset you phase into the floor and lose all of your lives in approximately four seconds, the game is just broken plain and simple.
- Tutankham - The music is completely broken as usual but thankfully it isn't too much of an ear-sore. Sometimes there are walls narrowing the pathways but you can walk right through them, the game behaves normally and apart from the sounds it's completely fine. Even the color palette is normal.
- Frogger - Apart from the hellish music, once more the game looks and acts like it should apart from a few flickering bits on the borders which is standard across the board, even the sprites look fine.
- Reactor - I can never tell if this game is behaving correctly or not, but it seems to be fine, only a misplaced block or two.
- Spiderman - The webs are invisible, and the graphics are warped, Spiderman looks like he was run over by a truck and I can't even get up high enough to see what the Goblin looks like, yeah the game's pretty much unplayable. Though, invisible web mode would be a good variation for experienced players.
- Star Wars:Death Star Battle - The sounds and graphics are about right, though the grid pattern on the shield is messed up and the death star is missing a large chunk of it's right half. The game is still completely playable.
- Star Wars: TESB - This is most definitely the worst rendition of the Star Wars theme I've ever heard, the palette is fine and so is the gameplay. There is very little wrong with the graphics, only a few juddering sprites and parts of the background detaching and jumping around, nothing gamebreaking.
- Star Wars: Jedi Arena - I take it back... THIS is the worst rendition of the Star Wars theme I've ever heard. You're swinging around a lightsaber thicker than a human torso but that's about it for broken graphics, the game plays fine. There's nothing much wrong with this one.
- Q*bert - He only has one leg! The music is also completely trashed but the game plays fine.
- Super Cobra - The game plays fine but there is a wall of tiles situated in the center of the screen at all times and if they make contact with any of the terrain the terrain vanishes and reappears, also the sounds are screwed up, but you knew that already.
- Popeye - Screwy sounds, flickering and slightly muddled visuals but you can still make everything out and play the game just fine, you're just going to get a headache while doing it.
- Strawberry Shortcake – The music is ungodly, every theme has been made squeaky and ear grating by Phillip, it is so bad I might just make a video of all of them.
- Gangster Alley - The game looks and plays okay apart from a screwy color palette (It's not the color wheel I've checked multiple times). The sounds are okay because there just aren't any in the first place, yeah this one's fine.
- Planet Patrol - honestly... It's just fine, the only thing that stands out is the random disco mesa in the background but otherwise everything is fine.
- Chase the Chuckwagon - At first lance it looks fine, the graphics aren't screwed up and some of the text is even legible but when you hit the reset switch nothing will happen... If you press the game select switch the game will go into full seizure mode. You will be stuck in place and killed as the screen flashes red and a horrible buzzing assaults your ears. The game is unplayable.
- Bumper Bash - the playfield is all sorts of screwed up, most of the walls are in the incorrect spots, in fact you can even get the ball stuck in the blue border. The game is impossible to play since the ball will get stuck every time, or the physics will break and the ball will get stuck in an endless loop of bouncing.
- Fathom – Amazingly enough the only thing wrong with it is a bit of mild sprite warping, even the sounds are fine!
- Demon Attack – a classic case of screwy sounds, but the graphics are fine with just a few screwed up sprites.
- Dragonfire – sounds are fine, so are the graphics. The gamebreaking bug though is that you are not allowed to go right when collecting treasures, if you do you will be taken back to the doorway instantly, but you don’t lose a life for doing so, but if anything is to the right of the door or directly above then the game is over.
- Quick Step – completely fine… seriously!
- Moonsweeper – Apart from some minor sprite warping and some slight tearing on the larger sprites there is nothing wrong sound-wise and play-wise.
- No Escape! – The sounds are particularly nasty here but otherwise everything is correct apart from everything that was formerly white being yellow.
- Solar Storm – Everything from the sounds to the sprites to the palette are perfect.
- Cosmic Ark – the graphics, sounds, and gameplay are all fine, with one exception. When first starting the game the background is just like it was with Journey: Escape where it is a single vertical line moving side to side.
- Atlantis – The screen has been cut into two halves, and the land is freaking out around the cities, it’s all juddery. Sounds and gameplay are okay.
- Trick Shot – The brown on the table has been turned to black, but otherwise everything is fine in all departments.
- Fire Fighter – The building flickers between grey and yellow occasionally and the ladder is spazzing out but the more complex graphics are untouched. Sounds are good and the gameplay is unaffected.
- Star Voyager – the palette’s been hit, the blue border is now vomit green, but otherwise pretty much everything is fine with an off-key note here or there.
- Riddle of the Sphinx – All the palm trees are missing their trunks, and the desert has turned into a yellow I can only describe as Kraft Single. The gameplay is unchanged so you can at least enjoy the eye rotting yellow.
- Shootin’ Gallery – Apart from a spot of bother where I couldn’t move the gun right, it later fixed itself, the game works as it should, even most of the sprites are unsullied by Phillip’s devilish influence.
- Cosmic Creeps – There is some major sprite tearing on the spaceship and sun but everything else is fine. The sounds are mostly alright except when it tries to do anything complicated. Gameplay is unaltered and completely playable.
- Fast Food – Some of the sprites are a little bit messed up but he “You’re getting fatter” and “Closed” intermissions are screwed up beyond comprehension. The gameplay is fine, nothing wrong there and even the sounds are untouched
- Coconuts – the tree trunks are completely missing, and the monkey is now the spawn of Satan’s asscrack. Gameplay and sounds are fine, nothing wrong there.
- Bobby is Going Home – The music is now thoroughly unsettling as it is now in the minor key and just plain disturbing, the jumping sound has been destroyed. The gameplay and visuals are untouched for the most part.
- Crackpots – The guy is now a Cyclops with a toupee that has a mind of its own, apart from that the palette is a bit screwy and parts of the game will flash on the black left border. Gameplay is fine, as are most of the sounds with perhaps an off-key note once in a while
- Fast Eddie - The ladders are very screwy but the game behaves normally otherwise.
- Mogul Maniac – You are skiing in the land of Kraft Singles since the whole planet has turned disturbingly yellow. Gameplay has remained unaffected, and apart from the awful rendition of the Olypmic Anthem being made even more awful, the sounds are unchanged.
- Tank Brigade/Tanks But No Tanks – The graphics and sounds are mostly fine, but the game is rendered unplayable if you shoot either the far left or far right border walls since your shot will just stick into them not allowing you to shoot again until you die or an enemy drives into it. The enemy AI has become dumber than a box of rocks driving into the walls until they either warp to the other side or vanish and respawn. Enemy shots will also stick to the walls which might be why they’re freaking out… Hard Mode?
- Dishaster – The music is even worse than before, but the other sounds are okay. Gameplay is unchanged, but the graphics are a bit screwy, the poles will fracture in some places or be two pixels thick, and some of the plates will spaz side to side on occasion. The game still sucks though.
- X-Man – On the intro screen it seems the woman has swallowed a tire since she’s gotten quite round, the man is now grey and has little skinny chicken legs that grow in size whenever he’s walking, and the enemies will make the screen flicker a little bit as well. The game has been rendered unplayable for the same reasons as Entombed, the pathways have constricted and you are unable to move anywhere. The maze selector is also broken only picking two of the three mazes and one far more than the other, the one it usually chooses also constantly plays a high pitched sound just to give you a headache, the sounds are just horrible and off-key. Even if you wanted to play it you couldn’t.
- Star Fox – The sounds are just as broken as is it was on a functioning console except all the annoying ones have been reduced in pitch to a near tolerable level. Gameplay and graphics remain unaltered. Hmmm it seems playing Star Fox on a broken console has wound up making it slightly better.
- Fire Fly – HOLY SHIT THAT MUSIC!!! My ears hurt! It’s all been raised a couple octaves apart from a few notes that were on the lower end staying correct. The graphics couldn’t be more messed up in the first place so it seems Phillip has actually improved some of them by destroying them further.
- Sorcerer – the white mountain top is made of year old Cheez Whizz but everything else seems fine with the graphics, scratch that the mountains have turned yellow and the mountain top is now grey, now it’s back to normal, what the hell. I’m afraid to hit reset, but here goes… OH GOD MY EARS!!!
Atari Red Box/Label
- Realsports Boxing – The ring graphics are very glitch, often flashing and warping, the fighters are fine as is everything else. Sounds are alright except for the countdown sound that sounds mangled and strangled. Still completely playable.
- Crossbow - On the map screen every location sprite has been split in half and jumping around wildly, and unfortunately the aiming reticule/cursor is invisible making the game very difficult to play without a turbo function. The stage screens are fairly mangled as well with much of the lava on the volcano stage missing entirely, and the cacti in the desert screen flickering wildly.
- Donkey Kong Junior – The game is still fully functional apart from one rope that will repel you if you approach it, the graphics are as fine as they were and the sounds have become extremely screechy and nasty.
- Jr. Pac-Man – some parts of the maze fail to appear visually but still have collision detection, and the maze itself will flicker violently between several different shades of poo brown and vomit green. The game plays fine but the sounds make it so you’ll never ever want to do that in the first place since the opening tune is murder.
- Dark Chambers – The title screen actually names the game as Dark Chairbel’s so that’s a good sign. The game still plays normally and the sounds seem unchanged, some of the enemy sprites are a bit screwed up but due to how simple most of them are the warping is fairly unnoticeable.
- Midnight Magic – The ball is now 1X3 pixels but most everything else is still functional unlike in Bumper Bash. The sounds are mangled of course but it’s less noticeable here than in other titles.
- Solaris – This is some of the nastiest sprite warping I’ve seen so far… Not a single item is left untouched, the planets are no longer circular and have corners and enemies are missing chunks of their bodies. Sounds just sound off as if everything has been changed to the minor key. The game is very difficult to play since enemy behavior has been thoroughly defiled and now some enemies will simply self destruct or is impossible to catch up to so you can shoot them; you also have a nasty habit of exploding randomly.
- Venture – The game looks mostly intact but in some cases walls will be missing or elongate slightly which makes moving around a bit difficult, on the map screen one of the rooms was missing a wall so I was able to enter the room from the other side of the door. In the room with the moving walls however the walls on the top and bottom around the treasure had lengthened making it impossible to actually get the thing rendering the game unplayable.
- Super Football – The opening screen shows a football player who has been sawn cleanly in half. The game plays fairly normally except all the players judder around in a rather distracting fashion, there is also a yellow line on the screen that will change color when a player is on the same horizontal plane as it. Sounds are fairly untouched apart from the crowd noise that now sounds like a dying lawn mower.
- Desert Falcon – The only part of the game that isn’t horribly wrong is the Sphinx, everything else has something wrong with it. The opening tune is mostly clangs and screeches, as is the background accompaniment, with other sounds either raised or lowered an octave. The palette is FUBAR and some graphical elements will fail to show up, the obelisks mainly but a few pyramids were no-shows as well simply leaving their shadows, to confuse things further the shadows are the correct sandy color making it look like much of the game had been gone over with a steamroller. Some elements will flicker and move independently and the whole game shifts slightly to the right whenever you land. Despite all of that the game is still playable
- Gravitar – Honestly… Apart from the sprite warping the game plays and sounds just fine.
- Xenophobe – the game plays fine, and apart from a slightly screwy palette and the basic sprite warping it looks fine as well. The sounds appear to be even worse before, if you thought the music was bad before now try it with completely unrelated sounds taking place of the already discordant notes… It makes me shudder.
- Ikari Warriors – I’m not kidding here… It’s almost perfect, there’s barely any sprite warping, the sounds are fine and the gameplay is fine.
- Motorodeo - Apart from some atrocious music the game is also untouched by Philip’s influences. It looks fine and it plays fine.
- Blueprint – The only thing that has been altered is the player character who is now a top hat and small line. Everything else is as it should be.
- GORF – Apart from a few ships being slightly scrambled the game is almost entirely unaltered in graphics, sounds, and gameplay.
- Wizard of Wor – The game starts by screaming in agony then the player automatically phases through the walls of the maze and gets stuck, not allowing any continued play. Much like in Entombed some of the walls constrict blocking pathways which would have made the game far more difficult since you couldn’t access over half of it, but the game renders itself unplayable right off the bat.
- Omega Race – I can’t really comment since I don’t have the Booster Grip adaptor.
- Solar Fox – the game is almost playable, and would be a very fun ‘Hard Mode’ of the game since the enemies shots move incredibly erratically across the screen, but you automatically lose a life when you start the game and with every new level meaning you could get to level three then die immediately. The game is totally unplayable unless you really like playing levels one and two forever.
- Mountain King – The game still acts normally, a few things are screwed up like there only being half of the diamonds present, the rest have vanished, and the player is now wearing a skirt. The ‘Secret World’ is still there and you can still access it as you normally would.
- Strategy X – The graphics now look even worse since everything is jumping and juddering around like it’s recently been caffeinated, even more so than usual. The color palette is all sorts of screwed up and the tank looks like some sort of insect. Sounds like to switch from one octave too high to one octave too low seemingly at random, making for a very obnoxious playthrough.
- Pooyan – The game plays as it normally does, the sounds are all several octaves too high and the graphics are vanishing and rematerializing randomly whenever they feel like it. The game is still almost unplayable though.
- Kool-Aid Man – The graphics are almost untouched, all that’s wrong is the palette and some parts of the edges of the screen flickering. Sounds have been raised by an octave or two except when they haven’t; all the notes in the opening tune apart from the final two have been raised. Gameplay has been unaffected and is still totally playable.
- Air Raiders – It plays normally, all the issues are with the graphics and sounds. The sky is now a sickly shade of green and half of the brown border of your cockpit had turned red. The sounds have been raised in pitch as we’ve seen before except with these noises it is particularly obnoxious.
- Super Challenge Baseball – The diamond is flickering about like a madman and the players have suddenly grown extremely wide. The game has only one quirk that players may find annoying, after any pitch, the catcher will automatically run up the screen, nothing you can do will stop him, even if he has the ball he is uncontrollable basically making the game unplayable.
- Adventures of Tron – The game skips the title screen and immediately starts the game, you are actually able to control how fast you fall down with the joystick, otherwise the game plays normally.
- Armor Ambush – The game looks and sounds like an absolute disaster, everything is scrambled in awful ways. Player two will move forward no matter what even if there is a controller plugged in, the game is still playable though player two us just unable to stop.
- Super Challenge Football – Same issues as with SC Baseball, the players have grown extremely wide and player two won’t stop running. I’m not sure how playable this is since I can’t play effectively by myself.
- Dark Cavern – The game has been rendered completely unplayable due to the fact that you cannot move down and will only move up trapping you. The sounds are fine and the graphics are fine apart from the enemies gaining 80 pounds and filling up the entire passageway.
- Space Attack – You are unable to actually battle the aliens not matter how closely you follow the instructions, the game cannot be played.
- Astroblast – The sounds are screwed up, and the shots look funny, but the game still plays just fine.
- Lock ‘n’ Chase – The game is almost unplayable since you always want to move upwards, (are you sensing a theme with these games?) and due to how the game treats movement you are unable to turn around until you stop which means you just keep running into the police over and over again.
- Bump ‘n’ Jump – This might be the only game that benefits for automatic forward movement, you never have to worry about accelerating ever again, and braking even works as well. The sounds are tortured and crying for mercy, and the palette is completly wrong, (why is the road yellow and flashing?), but the game is entirely playable.
- Mouse Trap – the game is imploding on itself, the game starts with about 10 seconds of pink flashing and cat screams, and when that’s over you’ll find that the game is unplayable since the pellets have been shited over to the right meaning some of them are inside of the walls, while some corridors have constricted so that you can’t pass through. The game is completely broken.
- Donkey Kong - Mario now has yellow skin and some of the ladders are now invisible, the game is still playable despite this. The sounds are mostly fine apart from when you get hit and the console squeals in agony.
- Smurf: Recue – HOLY SHIT MY EARS!!! The graphics are fine but the music is the work of Satan, and might just be the ugliest thing I’ve ever heard, and I like Skrillex.
- Carnival – Apart from some seriously wicked sprite warping, and sounds that would make a person go deaf after prolonged exposure, the gameplay is fine.
- Front Line – I actually managed to beat it for the first time on Philip, the graphics are pretty darn screwy, much of the landscape has shipped to the side slightly or is flickering and jittering. Enemy soldiers are now wearing black uniforms but the actual sprites are fine. Near the end of the game the ground began to flash yellow and grey which isn’t easy on the eyes. The sounds are fine with only a few off keys every so often.
- Communist Mutants From Space – First off the loading noise has a tendency to jump octaves until it gets so high pitched you can’t hear it. The graphics are fairly muddled, the brood mother has split in half and the uniform layout of her spawn has been disrupted. The evil spawn have the standard sprite warping that we’ve come to expect.
- Suicide Mission – Despite its graphical complexity it remains wholly intact and pretty much unsullied by Phillip.
- Killer Satellites – The sounds are torched and off-key, even the simple ones, the score is having an epileptic fit at the top of the screen and the ground is flashing between dark red and not-so-dark red. The game is still playable though, even if you really don’t want to after looking at it.
- Congo Bongo – This game is not happy… The sounds are squeaky and off-key and everything that was once yellow is now gray. The pathways on top of the cliffs have shifted very far to the right so now some of them are in the waterfall and river. The Frogger screen is fairly untouched but has rendered the game unbeatable since you cannot pass the rampaging rhinos (?) without dying, the entire horizontal plane is death, and no, you can’t jump over it.
- Buck Rogers – Apart from the horrifying sounds the game plays and looks fairly normal, nothing to say here.
- Tac-Scan – Honestly there is almost nothing wrong, not even sprite warping.
- Sneak ‘n Peek – I’m uncomfortable, the sounds are butchered to hell and the people are both missing a leg and are hopping around the house, otherwise the gameplay is unaffected.
- Towering Inferno – The graphics are fine but the controls have been reversed, left is right and right is left, you’re always moving forward unless you hold back then you stop, also you can only move using the right controller port not the left as is standard. You cannot move backwards which makes the game unplayable.
- Commando Raid – The game looks fine to start with bit when you start playing you’ll notice that the little parachuting guys have been reduced to three horizontal lines, which is mildly distressing. The sounds are mostly alright except when the console shrieks in agony. Also the hit detection of the missiles is gone so you can’t shoot them and whenever they appear it’s game over every time, the game is unplayable unless you can hit the planes before they drop the bombs, Hard Mode?
- Word Zapper – Apart from the letters flickering between yellow and white the game is untouched.
- Space Jockey – There is very little that Phillip could do to destroy such a basic game so it appears he hasn’t even tried, the game is fine.
20th Century Fox
- M*A*S*H* - This game is frightening. The opening screen is mostly fine, the trees don’t look like trees but apart from that it’s okay, but screen two, surgery… That person is beyond the healing powers of even the gods, I would almost call it gory. The game may not be unplayable, but I really don’t want to play it after seeing that.
- Mega Force – It’s fine, there is only some minor sprite warping and the sounds are a bit off but the game plays alright, if you really want to play Mega Force that is.
- Flash Gordon – The maze appears to be confused since some passageways will not appear on the map but still allow you to fly through them so it looks like you’re flying through solid rock. There is some minor sprite warping as usual but it’s not severe. The game plays okay and the sounds are for the most part unaltered.
- Alien – Oh dear! The pellets have materialized outside the maze and are flickering back and forth in a mesmerizing fashion. The game is still completely playable except the pellet graphics are in the wrong place not their hitbox meaning you can still collect them all except you just don’t know where most of them are.
- Fantastic Voyage – Holy Hell what a mess. The walls of the blood vessel are freaking out, shifting and juddering side to side, so much so that sometimes it will wrap to the other side of the screen. Most of the time the enemies are outside the walls which means you cannot hit them, or they will be in the walls but the walls will shift allowing the enemies to escape to the rest of the screen. The game is virtually unplayable since half of the enemies are untouchable.
- Turmoil – Believe it or not this game is absolutely fine with only an off note here and there, after Fantastic Voyage I was a bit scared, but who can blame me.
- Worm War 1 - The sounds are a bit screwy and the palette is all wrong but otherwise everything is fine.
- Pitfall II – Since the game has a separate chip used for the music the actual sounds are fine, thankfully. The graphics are mostly unchanged with only a few flickering background elements here and there and the yellow (ish) ground turning grey in some areas. Also the ladders are just straight up invisible, which makes the game a little more interesting.
- Ghostbusters – As you can guess the music is torture of an otherworldly kind, and this is with a different TIA chip that does sounds better (I swapped them after I made the video). The music is still off-key in grotesque ways, but it’s not as bad as before. The streets still flash horribly between yellow and grey, which is very hard on the eyes, otherwise much of the game’s graphics are fairly untouched apart from Ecto-1 which looks like Picasso got to it.
- Enduro – The game has been rendered unplayable since you start the game riding on the line meaning you are colliding with it forever and will never move anywhere, also your ears are assailed by the streams of the damned as you constantly crash into the wall
- Commando – This has some of the most ear-splitting music I’ve heard to this point, the notes aren’t off-key per say, they are just so high pitched that I can’t even hear some of them. The graphics are almost fine, the ground will flicker from yellow to grey on occasion and the palm trees appear to have become sentient, but otherwise the main graphics are fine.
- Private Eye – Holy crap what a mess I have been presented with… The sounds, atrocious, the graphics, atrocious, the game, confusing. Everything that was once grey is now yellow, and the opening tune is so awful I have intentionally repressed it, background elements are flickering and jittery which makes the game feel like it’s about to fall apart.
- Decathlon – It’s okay, the graphics are mildly scrambled but the game still plays as it should.
- River Raid – At first it seemed like this might actually be a pretty decent Hard Mode, but the game quickly turned sour. If you are on the same line as an enemy it is the same as you touching them, same thing for the fuel, you don’t actually have to touch them for them to hit you, which means you have to hit EVERY enemy otherwise you’ll die since you cannot pass them. This would be alright apart from the fact that the game has branching pathways and it is literally impossible to hit every enemy on the screen when that happens. The game is unplayable end of story.
- Keystone Kapers – The game has the standard sprite warping and background flickering we’ve come to expect, but the sounds are fine. The game plays just like it should, let it pass.
- Megamania – the game starts fine but as soon as you finish level one you will just die over and over again for no reason rendering the game unplayable past level one.
- Spider Fider – Apart from some of the sounds being rather mangled the game plays as well as it should.
- Pressure Cooker – Graphically the game is fine but the sounds are otherworldly and the gameplay is STILL confusing.
- Pitfall! – The game has curled up into a ball and gone into a catatonic state. Pitfall Harry has no frames of animation, he cannot jump and when he falls down a ladder he cannot climb back up since the ladder has shifted to the right and Harry can’t climb through solid rock. There is also a high pitched screaming noise that plays constantly making the game absolute agony to experience.
- Frostbite – The game looks, plays, and sounds, just like it should.
- Fishing Derby – The fishing lines remain straight lines if you move them a certain direction but move realistically if you move them another, the graphics are fine for the most part apart from the dock which is flashing and flickering, but the game is still playable.
- Oink! – Graphically it has the same issues as many before it; everything that was yellow is now grey and vise versa and everything that was white is now yellow. The sprites have a small amount of warpage but not enough to raise an eyebrow, the game still plays normally and the sounds are fine, the game is still playable.
- Space Shuttle – Apart from the sprite warping we’ve seen in a hundred other games, it’s fine and plays as it should.
- Tennis – The court is in distress… Instead of being angles like they should, the left side lines have decided that they want to be straight, making the court much smaller than it was before. The game plays normally however and the changes seem to only be cosmetic.
- Checkers – Scarily normal.
- Seaquest – The sounds are squeaky and weird but the graphics and gameplay are overall unaffected with the exception of one thing. You can see the swimmers wrapping around the side of the screen much like with Bermuda Triangle.
- Ice Hockey – Oh dear the ice rink has turned yellow but otherwise the game is okay.
- Skiing – It’s completely normal apart from the fact that the mountain is now made out of cheddar cheese.
- Sky Jinks - Horrible things have happened to these graphics. Much like with Desert Falcon the sprites for the shadows have been replaced with the sprites for the objects themselves creating a loopy land of pancaked pylons and hot air balloons that are fragmented but still flying, it truly is disturbing.
- Starmaster – The graphics are almost okay with only a small amount of warping present but the real kicker is the fact that the shooting is all screwed up. One of your shots will actually go where it’s supposed to, while the other will fire straight up the right edge of the screen, and from what I’ve experienced you can’t actually hit enemies either way so the game is pretty much impossible.
- Grand Prix – Screwy sounds and yellowed visuals don’t hamper the gameplay which remains the same.
- Dragster – Unblemished.
- Kaboom – Um… Well the game looks fine, the game’s sounds are overpowered by a high pitched beeping noise and the score constantly goes up, forever and ever. Easiest rollage of my life.
- Dolphin – The game has had the difficulty ramped up exponentially, since the game relies heavily on sounds it doesn’t help that most of them are so off-key it hurts or missing entirely due to them being so high pitched, the game is still playable but it’s just incredibly difficult.
- Barnstorming – Graphically the game is mostly untouched, the same s true for the sounds as well but there is something odd. Whenever you hold down the button you will accelerate but only for a second because as the timer changes to another second you lose all the speed you accrued and begin to accelerate again for one second making the game a hurky jerky mess.
- Boxing – It behaves normally, and apart from the basic sprite warping and color issues that are standard the game looks alright as well, even the sounds are untouched, let it pass.
- Freeway – Sounds, Graphics, and Gameplay are all untouched.
- Laser Blast – It’s fine, seriously.
- Chopper Command – Same issue as in River Raid which makes the game unplayable since you are unable to kill enemies without dying first. The game is completely unplayable.
- Stampede – Those cows or now twisted abominations that jerk around like vessels of Satan. The game is completely playable; the only things wrong with it are the cow and horse graphics and the sounds which are far more shrill than usual.
- Robot Tank – This game is very, very angry, the sounds the game makes when you move side to side are startling to say the least and the explosions, apart from being seizure inducing, are so violent sounding that the ESRB might have to stick a T rating on it. Graphics are mostly fine apart from the standard sprite warping, and gameplay is unchanged as far as I know.
- Pac-Man – As far as graphics go this is probably the least messed up Pac-Man title of the lot. The entire maze is off kilter and the dots intersect with the walls but are still accessible, both the ghost and Pac-Man sprites are unaltered, and the sounds aren’t too butchered. Unfortunately the game takes a turn towards unplayable since some of the dots are invisible or unaccessible I can’t tell which.
- Asteroids – Off the bat the game looks fine, but it shows its true colors as you begin playing. The ‘dun-dun’ sound effect has been pitch shifted up several octaves making it an annoying beeping noise. The asteroids look fine until shot then the sprites for the smaller asteroids begin mirroring themselves giving them an erratic and disturbing look. The game is still perfectly playable though, if you don’t mind being disturbed.
- Baseball – Um…. This might be the first ‘perfect’ game here… There is quite literally nothing wrong with the game.
- Race – You cannot move left, right is fine, but not left, rendering the game unplayable
- Skateboardin’ – The game looks alright, just some very minor sprite warping, also the kid doesn’t have a body. The music isn’t altogether horrible, it just gets a bit high in some places, and the gameplay is unaltered.
- Pete Rose Baseball – It’s all just the standard sprite warping coupled with everything that was once white or grey becoming yellow, the sounds are off-key as usual but the gameplay remains unaltered.
- Tomcat – The game is playable but the warped graphics make figuring out what all the scrambles letter and numbers mean a huge hassle, on a technical level it’s playable but in action it’s just impossible.
- Beat ‘em & Eat ‘em – Graphically there is very little wrong with it, apart from the fellow’s member which appears to have shrunk in girth to that of a pencil. There are a few off notes but nothing ear bleeding, it’s all right.
- Custer’s Revenge – Custer’s legs are missing, the clouds are made of cheese , and the sounds are murder. ‘nuff said.
- Winter Games – The games are all functionally the same as if the game were functioning normally. Everything white is now yellow, and the sprite warping is immense in areas like the ski jump and bobsled. Also the music couldn’t be worse if you smashed your head into a piano (anywhere on the piano not just the keys) and called it a day.
- Summer Games – Music is murder but the game plays fine, pretty much just like with Winter Games.
- California Games – I am uncomfortable… The foot bag kid’s legs detach from his body when he turns around. Otherwise it is much like with the previous two, the games are playable but the graphics are a bit funky and the sounds have been brutalized.
- Room of Doom – Functionally the game is fine, graphically the game is also fine, auditorially it is also fine, the game is just fine.
- Cosmic Swarm – The blocks don’t show up in the proper locations which leads to the game being a bit of a crap shoot on whether you’re going to run into a block or not. Sounds and most of the gameplay still work as normal.
Atari Silver Label
- E.T. – Apart from some very minor graphical issues and the music being turned to a mess of beeps the game plays perfectly normally.
- Moon Patrol – The game is fine, nothing to report.
- Crystal Castles – The game behaves normally, the only thing that is off is the music and sounds.
- Krull – The spider web is screwed up which makes navigating that part of the game a bit easier but I still can’t figure out how to play the game properly. Sounds are fine and gameplay is fine.
- Galaxian – Nothing to report, the game is fine.
- Raiders of the Lost Ark – The game refuses to start, all you do is look at Indy flicker around on the pedestal while the worst ‘music’ you’ve ever heard assaults your ears.
- Joust – Nothing to report.
- Realsports Soccer – Apart from that ‘Music’ that p[lays at the beginning there is nothing to report.
- Swordquest Earthworld – Nothing to report.
- Swordquest Fireworld – Your dude only has one leg, apart from that and a few strange sounds the game is fine.
- Battlezone – The blue tanks are now an off-green, and the mountains have developed a few cliffs but otherwise the game is graphically sound. Most of the sounds have been chipmunked and are now way too high pitched, but the core gameplay remains unaffected.
- Phoenix – Nothing to report.
- Stargate – The mountains now make X’s instead of triangles but apart from that the core gameplay and most of the graphics are unaffected. Sounds are fine too.
- Vanguard – The game behaves normally, and apart from the same issue as in Super Cobra the game looks normal as well.
- Realsports Tennis – Nothing to report.
- Mario Bros. – Nothing to report.
- Jungle Hunt – Scrambles sounds and a confused color palette, and once I just phased through a vine but apart from that the game is normal.
- Realsports Football – Nothing to report.
- Ms. Pac-Man – Some maze graphics fail to appear, some of the dots are invisible, and the sounds are murder, but at least it’s playable.
- Centipede – You are now enormous, and are very easy to hit, everything else is normal.
- Realsports Volleyball – The net has shifted majorly towards the right and now the playfield is extremely lopsided, otherwise the game is normal graphically and gameplay wise.
- Kangaroo – The sounds are murder and the screen is flickering badly but the game still plays as normal.
- Dig Dug – The sounds are all sorts of screwed up but the gameplay remains the same.
- Pole Position – The sounds are wickedly screwed up and the road is not happy, it is warping around spasmodically and will cause you to run into it even if you are nowhere near it. You can still play the game but it is incredibly difficult.
Atari Text/Color Labels: Ain't much here...
- Yars’ Revenge – Nothing interesting to report.
- Defender – Nothing to interesting report.
- 3D Tic-Tac-Toe – Nothing Interesting to Report.
- Adventure – The game is so simple I’d be surprised if anything went wrong, so nothing has.
- Dodge ‘em – Nothing to report.
- Superman – The game behaves just as it should, noisy and confusing.
- Slot Racers – Nothing interesting.
- Backgammon – Nothing Interesting.
- Star Ship – Nothing interesting.
- Pele’s Soccer – Nothing Interesting.
- Air Sea Battle – Nothing interesting.
- Surround – The game has been rendered unplayable due to the fact that you will randomly collide with your own blocks as you lay them down.
- Maze Craze – The mazes have been completely butchered to the point where you can’t tell where you can walk and what is a wall, The game is almost unplayable.
- Basketball - *vigorous bouncing* When being held the ball will bounce at double speed, and in the case of player one it will bounce at double speed even when moving, making the game sound very funny. The gameplay is unaffected thankfully.
- Outlaw – Apart from the cactus missing its trunk there is nothing interesting to report.
- Human Cannonball – Um… the basket is flying around the screen very quickly, if you ask me this is the ultimate hard mode for this game, but to anybody who just wants to play the game normally it’s unplayable.
- Othello – Nothing to report.
- Flag Capture – Nothing interesting to report.
- Sky Diver – The sounds are positively screwy but apart from the game functions normally.
- Math Gran Prix – Nothing interesting to report.
- Video Chess – The game suffers from Sky Jinks syndrome where all the sprites have been squashed, the board is a mess. You can still play the game but you won’t be getting anywhere since half of your pieces haven’t even bothered to show up.
- Hangman – The game functions normally the letters are just extremely screwed up.
- Berzerk – Nothing interesting to report.
- Casino – The game is unwell in that it refuses to do anything.
- Night Driver – Nothing to see here.
- Demons to Diamonds – Nothing interesting to report.
- Video Olympics – How can you screw up Pong? Well you can’t, the game is fine.
- Breakout – The game is fine.
- Street Racer – Nothing here.
- Warlords – It’s fine.
- Super Breakout – Nothing wrong here.
- Star Raiders – Nothing to report.
- Haunted House – The game sure is haunted, even the walls are moving. Otherwise the game behaves normally.
- Bowling – Your ball is super long, and that’s about it.
- Space Invaders – Everything is fine over here.
- Brain Games – Everything is working normally.
- Video Pinball – Occasionally the ball will phase through the walls, and there is a strange orange corruption hanging out on the sides of the screen, the game mostly works fine though.
- Golf – Golf
- Football – The score is suffering from Sky Jinks Syndrome, but the game plays normally, if you can call anything about Football ‘Normal’.
- Blackjack – It’s fine.
- Missile Command – S’fine.
- Space War – Horizontal movement is completely screwed up, you will be cemented on a vertical plane for a few seconds no matter how fast you were moving before and then you are unleashed and begin flying around like a madman.
- Combat – You can’t really screw up Combat, all you can do is make it better.