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Vs. Golf


Nathan Strum

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Pro golfers are complaining that the 16th hole at the U.S. Open is too long at 670 yards. I have a solution for this problem.

 

 

Dear pro golfers,

 

I hate to be the one to break the news to you... but you are getting paid millions of dollars to play golf.

 

Shut up, go play your game, collect your massive paychecks, and stop whining about it.

 

Sincerely,

 

Everyone in the world who will work their entire lives and never make as much money as you will this weekend

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I'll agree with you. Maybe the complaint is from golfers who don't have John Daly power who feel they will be at a stroke disadvantage to those who might be able to reach the green in two.

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One of them is Phil Mickelson - who has plenty of power, and another is Bubba Watson - who is currently ranked first in driving distance.

 

And yes, they're complaining because now they don't have an eagle opportunity on that par 5. But it really doesn't matter, since the golf course has been increased in length for every player. So now if it takes the long hitters three shots, then it takes the weaker hitters four. Before, it would have taken the long hitters two, and the weaker ones three. So everyone gets an extra stroke added to their score. The rare, super-long hitters generally aren't accurate enough to be much of a factor.

 

I actually like watching golf (sometimes). But I think it's completely ridiculous for them to complain about it. Even the losers are rich.

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