What games suck more than E.T.?

[Atarimania75]

Cosmic Corridor

[keilbaca]

Legend of Dragoon - PlayStation

 

Gradius - NES, arcade, SNES, GameBoy, GBA, PlayStation, PS2, Tiger handheld, whatever, the whole series sucks super monkey balls.

 

Why? I loved the series...

 

As for worst game? Karate. Hands down.

[liveinabin]

I had a cricket game on the ZX Spectrum. As soon as you bat the ball, the game stopped with something like "break - error in line 5236".

 

Say what you like about ET, at least the damn game worked

[carmel_andrews]

Any game written on the A8 by Steven Mc illwie (i think that is how he spelt his name), any game by Steven makes ET look even better then the latest PC/XBox 360 and other Nex gen game

[Ross PK]

I've never heard of Steven Mc illwie, which games did he make?

[Kripto]

Space Ace for the Jaguar has a timing glitch between expected controller input and video, making it impossible to play for more than around 20 seconds. This is amazingly aggravating if you don't know what's going on.

 

In fact, if you refuse to give up, you will eventually experience a complete mental breakdown, driving you onto a murderous, multi-state naked rampage.

 

An average game of it sounds something like this...

 

"Close Main Gate! Kimberly! No! ARRGGGGHHH!"

 

"Close Main Gate! Kimberly! No! ARRGGGGHHH!"

 

"Close Main Gate! Kimberly! No! ARRGGGGHHH!"

 

Play Again?

 

 

"Close Main Gate! Kimberly! No! ARRGGGGHHH!"

 

"Close Main Gate! Kimberly! No! ARRGGGGHHH!"

 

"Close Main Gate! Kimberly! No! ARRGGGGHHH!"

 

Play Again?

 

 

Just put down the controller and walk away.

[The Shawn]

Superman-N64

 

Totaly unplayable.

[Atari5200]

1942 for NES, with music to make your ears bleed.

 

But again, why is this being asked? ET was not that bad, at least it was playable, some 2600 games can't even say that, aka: Sea hunt.

 

If you haven't played Sea hunt, then fire up your 2600 or Stella and have at it, you'll soon find yourself wishing for a game like ET.

Edited April 16, 2007 by Atari5200

[Segataritensoftii]

PSX: Transformers: Beast Wars

PS2: Big Mutha Truckers

Genesis: Awesome Possum Kicks Dr. Machino's Butt

SNES: Super Pinball

Awesome Possum was about as generic as they come when it comes to mascots. Cheap Sonic ripoff with an annoying voice and an incredibly dumb story about Awesome saving the environment from Dr. Machino, a cheap Robotnik ripoff.

 

But do you know what's REALLY the worst Genesis game of all time? Heavy Nova. Boy is that one seriously unplayable shitburger of a game. A retarded monkey doped up on every possible drug you can think of could come up with better control than this! and the levels. The person who made these must've tried to create these while falling off a cliff, working out the secret of the universe into a simple, unified theorem, ordering a pizza, watching an exciting action thriller on HBO, listening to the news, all the while trying to speed read Moby Dick, and trying to open his parachute- ALL AT THE SAME TIME! An while he was doing this, his IQ was dropping 1 point per second from all the strain! This resulted in short and boring levels with only a couple of rocks and a few robots to avoid.

 

Don't pick this up. If you value your life and sanity only a tiny bit, don't even think about putting yourself through so much misery. End of discussion.

[kirin jensen]

1942 for NES, with music to make your ears bleed.

 

But again, why is this being asked? ET was not that bad, at least it was playable, some 2600 games can't even say that, aka: Sea hunt.

 

If you haven't played Sea hunt, then fire up your 2600 or Stella and have at it, you'll soon find yourself wishing for a game like ET.

Is it more unplayable than Springer?

[JB]

Legend of Dragoon - PlayStation

 

Gradius - NES, arcade, SNES, GameBoy, GBA, PlayStation, PS2, Tiger handheld, whatever, the whole series sucks super monkey balls.

 

Why? I loved the series...

 

The defining moment of the franchise is in Gradius 3, IMO.

There's a stage where you fly through several rapidly-scrolling metal tubes.

 

2 points to note:

1. The tubes scroll faster than your ship's default speed. They scroll exactly equal to your ship's speed with one speed-up.

2. The midway point is in the tubes.

 

If you die after passing the halfway point of the stage, it doesn't matter how good you are or how many lives you have left.

If you had a light on your power-up bar, you have exactly one more chance, but you have to know EXACTLY where everything is, as there is no room for error. More than likely you'll get clipped by a gun turret and lose your speed-up.

If you don't have a light on your power bar, you CANNOT progress. Period. You will be crushed against the edge of the screen about 3 seconds after respawning.

 

THAT is what's wrong with Gradius, in a nutshell.

[Dr. Morbis]

^So the original Gradius is worse than ET because a game that was released years after it has a major glitch? That's like declaring Hitler's Great-Great-Grandfather to be a terribly evil man.

[JB]

^So the original Gradius is worse than ET because a game that was released years after it has a major glitch? That's like declaring Hitler's Great-Great-Grandfather to be a terribly evil man.

I didn't say that was the single event that made me hate the series.

It's just the most blatantly visible aspect of their design attitude.

It's not a glitch. Konami did it ON PURPOSE.

 

 

The ENTIRE SERIES is constructed around dying repeatedly as you memorize the game so you can fly through uninjured.

It's also constructed so that any death will make it nearly impossible to advance further forward, if for no other reason than your base speed is far too low.

 

It also takes an absurdly long time to power your ship up. While in other games(say, RType), you have to grab 5 items to get back to full power(speed up, missiles, and 3 weapon pellets), in Gradius you have to grab 3 powerups for speed(max speed being an evil ploy to send you careening out of control), 2 more to get your missiles, 4 more to get your lasers, 20 to retrieve all 4 options, and 6 for your shield.

 

Realistically, you can knock 16 off that easily. Skip the shield, and go for 2 options. That's still 19 powerups to get back to a reasonable firepower level.

Take the lasers off, stick with the peashooter to lower it to 15 powerups. And that's pretty much the minimum needed for many situations. Meanwhile, over in RType land, you need TWO powerups to get back to survivable(one weapon pellet for your force, and a second to get your force laser)

 

 

I might care for Gradius V if I gave it more time. Between retrievable options and a survivable minimum speed, it's a MUCH more enjoyable game, and I may just be holding grudges by crapping on that one.

But it took 20 years and licensing the game out to another developer to get to that point.

 

Meanwhile, Konami did Salamander. I'll play Salamander. I enjoy the franchise and rank it rather highly for a pattern shooter. Despite it's Gradius origins, it's a damn fine game, because they scrapped most of the bullshit present in Gradius.

And then Konami set about breaking that by retrofitting the Gradius powerup system onto it. Complete with speed crippling.

[carmel_andrews]

Ross PK...Steven Mc illwie did mostly budget label games (atlantis and alternative software)...don't insult your intelligence by playing them (even on an emulator)

[Emehr]

I know I've mentioned this before:

 

Panic! for SegaCD

 

That title is devoid of gameplay. Your character must, by trial and error mind you, push the right button onscreen to advance to the next, umm, level. Push the wrong one and a "hilarious" death animation occurs. There is no logic involved at all. No thinking whatsoever. All you have to do is remember which button NOT to press when you get another chance. It's as much of a game as randomly pressing buttons on your DVD remote. Oops! You pressed "Stop"! The DVD stopped playing! Whoopsee, that was the "Scan" button! Marvel at the way the movie fast forwards!

 

I bought this game, regretted it, and sold it as soon as I could. I feel like I'm losing the same moments of my life writing about it as when I "played" it but if I could just keep one person from not getting this game I will feel like my efforts were not in vain. I suffered. You don't have to!

Edited April 17, 2007 by Emehr

[Atari5200]

1942 for NES, with music to make your ears bleed.

 

But again, why is this being asked? ET was not that bad, at least it was playable, some 2600 games can't even say that, aka: Sea hunt.

 

If you haven't played Sea hunt, then fire up your 2600 or Stella and have at it, you'll soon find yourself wishing for a game like ET.

Is it more unplayable than Springer?

 

What system is springer for, 2600? If in Springer you start the game and do not instantly die, then it is more playable than Sea hunt. I don't think i've had a game of Sea hunt last more than 5 seconds.

[Ross PK]

Ross PK...Steven Mc illwie did mostly budget label games (atlantis and alternative software)...don't insult your intelligence by playing them (even on an emulator)

 

Ah yes, Atlantis software, Spooky Castle springs to mind.

[Shaggy the Atarian]

1942 for NES, with music to make your ears bleed.

 

But again, why is this being asked? ET was not that bad, at least it was playable, some 2600 games can't even say that, aka: Sea hunt.

 

If you haven't played Sea hunt, then fire up your 2600 or Stella and have at it, you'll soon find yourself wishing for a game like ET.

 

That's why I'm asking this, because I see too many people/"journalistic organizations" always hounding on E.T. saying that it's the worst game ever made when in fact if they were to do their homework, there are many more games out there that suck far more than E.T. does. Like you say, at least E.T. was playable. I first played the game when I was 8 years old. At first it was a little frustrating but I eventually got over the challenge it presented and I manged to beat the game in 10-15 minutes as a kid. I actually used to beat it so often that I got bored of the game and stopped playing it. But I played it all the way through which I can't say the same for on many other games out there.

 

I think I tried Sea Hunt once. If it's the right game that I'm thinking about then that one certainly deserves to be on the list. Karate does too.

[JB]

That's why I'm asking this, because I see too many people/"journalistic organizations" always hounding on E.T. saying that it's the worst game ever made when in fact if they were to do their homework, there are many more games out there that suck far more than E.T. does.

But Seanbaby said ET killed Atari and caused the crash! No other game has single-handledly destroyed the entire industry! ET HAS to be the worst!

 

 

Yeah... it's cool to hate ET, partially because it's recognized.

And that f'ing Seanbaby article means we'll be hearing about Custer's Revenge until the end of time, too.

[Uzumaki]

Hmmm... no one has bothered to mention the #1 crappiest NES game ever. One so horrible that even if you knew what game I was talking about, most would refuse to mention the name for fear of invoking the wrath of video game god.

 

*looks around nervously*

 

something to do with cheetah and has a 2 in title...

[TimsterAA]

I just fired up Sea-Hunt in Stella. OMG! What IS up with this? What's the point/objective? Once you're in the water, it appears all you can do is swim. I couldn't shoot anything and I couldn't even get back out of the water. It seems you just try to not get eaten by a fish for as long as possible (which seems to be a max of like 15 seconds). And, whenever you do die, your score reverts back to zero. What are you supposed to do in this game?

 

Definitely pretty crappy!

 

--Timster--

[Video]

 

That's why I'm asking this, because I see too many people/"journalistic organizations" always hounding on E.T. saying that it's the worst game ever made when in fact if they were to do their homework, there are many more games out there that suck far more than E.T. does.

 

Yes, there are more games that suck more, but not everybody has the time (desire, or means) to play all 5000 games variants, pirates, obscure title, etc, to give a truely unbiased opinion. Truthfully, how many here have played every single game ever made for the 2600? Anybody say yes, and I can say that they are in fact lying. They may think they have, but I know for a fact, not every game is available (even on emulators) though ti does come close.

 

 

 

Yeah... it's cool to hate ET, partially because it's recognized.

And that f'ing Seanbaby article means we'll be hearing about Custer's Revenge until the end of time, too.

 

Hey, Custers Reveng wasn't that bad (yes, I played it) you just run left, right, right, left right right, avoid arros, hump indian chick, run away, dodge arrows, run back, hump indian chick, etc...till you die. If haveing shallow gameplay constitutes sucky games, then how about Dragster (custers reveng has a bit more play mechanics than that game) Push right, hold button till up to speed, push right, hold button till up to speed...game over ?WTF? That was actually my first though the first time I played this game, boy, it would have sucked to pay full price for that one, even at $15.

 

 

I just fired up Sea-Hunt in Stella. OMG! What IS up with this? What's the point/objective? Once you're in the water, it appears all you can do is swim. I couldn't shoot anything and I couldn't even get back out of the water. It seems you just try to not get eaten by a fish for as long as possible (which seems to be a max of like 15 seconds). And, whenever you do die, your score reverts back to zero. What are you supposed to do in this game?

 

Definitely pretty crappy!

 

--Timster--

 

If this is the game I'm thinking of, the objective is to get to the bottome, grab the shit, and get back to the boat (which you don't get back into, just touch) to deposit whatever for money, or points. Of course, I may be thinking about a different game...

[almightytodd]

There's this one game on a Coleco plug-n-play that I have (...hey, it was five bucks - I spend more on the AA batteries it takes to power the thing...) where the object is to grab a fly with chopsticks. The thing is, all you have to do is press the fire button as quickly as you can the moment the fly first appears on the screen. If you play one-player mode, all it does it tell you your reaction time. In the two-player game though, it tells which player has the fastest reaction (I think it does best two-out-of-three, but it's been awhile since I've played it). It's pretty stupid, but add some alcohol, a party atmosphere, maybe some techno music, it could have potential. If anything, it might suggest that the overall loser should have someone else drive him/her home...

[Atari5200]

lol, i tried to warn people. I don't care what anybody says, there is no worse game than Sea Hunt.

Edited April 18, 2007 by Atari5200

[Shaggy the Atarian]

 

That's why I'm asking this, because I see too many people/"journalistic organizations" always hounding on E.T. saying that it's the worst game ever made when in fact if they were to do their homework, there are many more games out there that suck far more than E.T. does.

 

Yes, there are more games that suck more, but not everybody has the time (desire, or means) to play all 5000 games variants, pirates, obscure title, etc, to give a truely unbiased opinion. Truthfully, how many here have played every single game ever made for the 2600? Anybody say yes, and I can say that they are in fact lying. They may think they have, but I know for a fact, not every game is available (even on emulators) though ti does come close.

 

 

I understand the nightmare involved in playing every game in existence to give an unbiased opinion but I'm not really asking for that. It doesn't take A LOT of effort to find games that are worse than E.T. however. The problem is that since it's become a popular thing to put E.T. at the top of the list it becomes a standard so any dork can just come along and make these silly top 10 worst lists without ever touching the game they are writing about, they just have to regurgitate what "experts" like Seanbaby have said in the past (thanks for bringing him up JB).

 

Now I recall Sea Hunt I actually have the cartridge. It's like a incredibly dumbed down version of Aquaventure and yes, it totally sucks. I'd take E.T. over that without a problem.

 

As for that Cheetah game mentioned above, I am only finding stuff about a Chester Cheetah 2 on the SNES. Is that the right game or would it be something else?