Willsy Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 (edited) Every year, the Sinclair ZX Spectrum community unites to write the single most worst, crappest game of the year. Individuals submit their games to a judges panel. The game can be anything you want, however, there is one rule: It must be completely and utterly, without a shadow of a doubt, un-deniably, un-reservedly and indisputably.... CRAP. So how about it? When the current competition is over, why don't we have a crap games competition? Normally, there is some irony or humor in the submissions: Some examples: * ZX Sepctrum Emulator - for the ZX Spectrum!!!!!!! (it doesn't do anything! Its ALREADY a ZX Spectrum!) * Erotic Pinball - "Phwoar! Will you look at the badly digitised nips on that! Well, maybe if you squint you can see them but it's the thought that counts. Behind this dodgy front screen lies a truly awful pinball game with possibly the least realistic ball handling (oo-er!) since, well, any commercially released pinball game on the Speccy." * Crap Invaders - The panel said ""Waaaaaaaaaay too good. It's fast, the graphics are animated, and it's addictively play-tastic! Actually I've probably *paid* for worse games than that. You're the worst CSSCGC author ever! How can you possibly expect to win with a game of that quality???" * Advanced Death Simulator * Advance Illegal parking simulator * Advanced 10 PRINT simulator - "On this crisp January day, it gives me great pleasure to welcome you to the first CSSCGC 2008 game of 2009! (Which makes sense only within the tortured logic of CGC compo organisation). Fans of CSSCGC 2008'sAdvanced 10 PRINT Hello 20 GO TO 10 Simulator &Advanced 10 PRINT HELLO; 20 GOTO 10 Simulator 128K Edition are truly being sploit. Surely you are going find it difficult to contain your excitement at Advanced 10 PRINT Simulator. You do need to collect the entrie set, so make sure you have this one saved on your HDD in the same directory as the others and then we'll begin. Now, just take a moment to compose yourselves, for here we have reached something of a pinnacle in the PRINT...Simulator genre. The supplied documentation file is one of the best I've seen. Certainly not overly technical, and with a welcome spot of comic relief. Rodnay Zaks would be impressed I'm sure and is it possibly cheeky for me to suggest it may have even taken longer to put together than the program itself. As for a preliminary investigation of the BASIC code, we see it is fully documented in the source, easing concerns about future maintainability. We also reach the dizzy heights of line 40. But the best thing about this title is probably the limitless customisation. The manual gives some outlandish examples of this, including a warning system for those with a potential gonad persperation problem." * Advanced Lawn Mower Starting Simulator - The Petrol Edition * Barcode Hangman - "The barcode revolution of the latter half of the 20th century has undeniably become a cornerstone of our information age. Barcodes are now ubiquitous and found everywhere from tins of mushy peas to cannisters of nuclear waste. But apart from the serious side, you may not know that they have also had a great impact on popular culture too. From songs such as Barcode Bypass by Mull Historical Society, and books such as The Da-Vinci Barcode: A Parody. Now Unsatisfactory Software present this Barcode-themed game, Barcode Hangman!. In this game, ported to the speccy from an original ZX81 version, you must pit your wits against the computer in order to reveal the hidden barcode number. Make too many mistakes, and your number is up (or rather not up), but I'm sure you'll be dying to have another go!" Ok, I think you get the idea! Much more information (and links) here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comp.sys.sinclair_Crap_Games_Competition To whet your appetites, have a look here: http://www.unsatisfactorysoftware.co.uk/csscgc/csscgc.cgi?rank=1 Of course, no reason why it should be limited to the 99/4A - let the Atari folks and MSX guys etc have at it as well. The crappest game for each machine would go into a sudden death "crap off" - the ultimate victory awarded to absolute crappest game. The author wins, safe in the knowledge that he has written the crappiest game of any retro computing platform anywhere in the world. Warms me heart, it does! As you were... Mark. Edited November 19, 2009 by Willsy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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