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Crap Game Competition?

Willsy

By Willsy
in TI-99/4A Development

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Vorticon Quadrunner

+Vorticon

Posted
Posted

Run this in Classic99 CPU Overdrive mode!!!! I've attached it... good luck beating THIS game, assholes..... Never again will there be any question who can write the crappest game EVER. icon_smile.gif

 

OK I admit it. I had to touch the screen :D The graphics are great, but the gameplay is definitely questionable. I smell a winner :cool:

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jchase1970 Moonsweeper

jchase1970

Posted
Posted

Traffic Light Simulator by Greater Games Publishing co. © 2010

 

Have you ever wanted to be in charge of a traffic light? US TOO. So we made this game for just that!

 

Disclaimer....

the game was rushed out to meet the christmas deadline, sound is not included. You can register your game though compuserve box 12764 and receive a free update. This service requires uses of a 180bbs modem only. If you don't have access to a modem come by the office to receive your update, bring in your proof of purchase for the game. Office hours are monday-friday, just come by and check if we are in.

 

Thank you,

GGP co.

address TBA

phone TBA

 





10 call char(96,"3C7EFFFFFFFF7E3C")
20 call char(104,"3C7EFFFFFFFF7E3C")
30 call char(112,"3C7EFFFFFFFF7E3C")
40 call char(120,"3C7EFFFFFFFF7E3C")
50 call char(128,"01010101010101018080808080808080FF0000000000000000000000000000FF")
60 call color(9,7,11,10,12,11,11,13,11,12,2,12,13,11,1)
110 CALL CLEAR
120 PRINT "WELCOME TO THE TI-99/4A"
130 PRINT "TRAFFIC LIGHT SIMULATOR"
140 PRINT :: PRINT :: PRINT
150 PRINT "PRESS THE SPACE BAR TO"
160 PRINT "CHANGE THE LIGHT."
170 PRINT :: PRINT  :: PRINT
180 PRINT "WATCH THE TIMER TO KNOW"
190 PRINT "WHEN TO CHANGE THE LIGHT"
200 PRINT :: PRINT::PRINT::PRINT
210 PRINT "PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE"
220 INPUT CONT$
230 IF CONT$<>"" THEN PRINT"ONLY PRESS ENTER, NOTHING ELSE    I CAN SEE YOU ARE TROUBLE"::GOTO 210
240 CALL CLEAR
250 CALL VCHAR(10,5,120,3)
260 CALL HCHAR(9,5,131)::CALL HCHAR(13,5,130)::CALL VCHAR(10,4,128,3)::CALL VCHAR(10,6,129,3)
270 SCORE=0
275 SPACE=0
276 STRIKE=0
280 DISPLAY AT(1,1):"SCORE:"&STR$(SCORE)
290 TIME=100
300 DISPLAY AT(2,1):"TIME BEFORE LIGHT CHANGE:"&STR$(TIME)
305 DISPLAY AT(3,1):"STRIKES:"&STR$(STRIKE)
310 DISPLAY AT(20,1):"PRESS SPACE BAR TO START"::GOSUB 1000
311 IF SPACE=0 THEN 310
315 DISPLAY AT(20,1):""
320 LIGHT=3::TIME=100::SPACE=0::TTC=0
330 CALL RED
355 DISPLAY AT(20,1):""
360 TIME=TIME-1::DISPLAY AT(2,1):"TIME BEFORE LIGHT CHANGE:"&STR$(TIME)
370 IF (TIME<0)*(TTC=0) THEN DISPLAY AT(20,1):"PRESS SPACE BAR TO CHANGE LIGHT"::TTC=1
380 IF (TTC=0)*(SPACE=1) THEN CALL EARLY::GOTO 320
390 IF (TIME<-15) THEN CALL LATE::GOTO 320
400 IF (TTC=1)*(SPACE=1) THEN GOSUB 1220
500 GOSUB 1000
510 GOTO 360
1000 CALL KEY(0,K,S)
1020 IF K=32 THEN SPACE=1::RETURN
1030 SPACE=0::RETURN
1220 SCORE=SCORE+1::TTC=0::SPACE=0
1230 DISPLAY AT(1,1):"SCORE:"&STR$(SCORE)
1235 CALL HCHAR(20,1,32,50)
1240 IF LIGHT=3 THEN LIGHT=1::TIME=100::CALL GREEN::RETURN
1250 IF LIGHT=2 THEN LIGHT=3::TIME=100::CALL RED::RETURN
1260 IF LIGHT=1 THEN LIGHT=2::TIME=25::CALL YELLOW::RETURN
1270 RETURN
2000 SUB RED:: CALL HCHAR(10,5,96)::CALL HCHAR(11,5,120)::SUBEND
2010 SUB YELLOW::CALL HCHAR(11,5,104)::CALL HCHAR(12,5,120)::SUBEND
2020 SUB GREEN::CALL HCHAR(12,5,112)::CALL HCHAR(10,5,120)::SUBEND
2030 SUB EARLY::DISPLAY AT(20,1):"YOU CHANGED THE LIGHT TO SOON"::CALL STRIKES::SUBEND
2090 SUB FIRED
2100 CALL CLEAR
2110 PRINT"YOU FAILED 3 TIMES TO CHANGE THE LIGHT ON TIME"
2120 PRINT"YOU ARE FIRED"
2130 PRINT"WE THINK WE WILL JUST USE A TI-99!"
2140 END
2150 SUBEND
2160 SUB STRIKES
2170 STRIKE=STRIKE+1
2180 IF STRIKE=3 THEN CALL FIRED
2190 DISPLAY AT(3,1):"STRIKES:"&STR$(STRIKE)::SUBEND
2200 SUB LATE::DISPLAY AT(20,1):"YOU FAILED TO CHANGE LIGHT"::CALL STRIKES::SUBEND

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Animan River Patroller

Animan

Posted
Posted

Maybe I'll resurrect the crap Logo I wrote in high school in Apple BASIC (actually called "cheap_ripoff_logo" if I remember correctly). It drew a turtle, asked for user input, but then wouldn't do anything but make rude retorts to Logo commands (telling the turtle to go backward would elicit "do I look like I have eyes in my butt?" or some such 13-year-old hilarity). It actually went down a storm with my classmates, and got us out of half a period of class one day while my teacher showed it off to everyone.

 

It may be almost too good, though, compared to some of those other listed ideas...

 

I have to admit, that sounds pretty hilarious. I could imagine if I was programming and suddenly it would heckle at my code. Maybe I should write that "programming language" myself one day as a joke.

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unhuman Stargunner

unhuman

Posted
Posted (edited)

You could make this suck more by leveling up. So if you're successful, instead of counting down from 100, make it longer each time. That'll make it harder - and suck more.

 

Didn't Penn & Teller have a suck game where you had to drive a truck cross country... and it was out of alignment so all you had to do was keep from going off the road? I think I'll port it.

 

Desert Bus! http://waxy.org/2006...enn_tellers_sm/ and video:

 

-H

 

Traffic Light Simulator by Greater Games Publishing co. © 2010

 

Have you ever wanted to be in charge of a traffic light? US TOO. So we made this game for just that!

 

Disclaimer....

the game was rushed out to meet the christmas deadline, sound is not included. You can register your game though compuserve box 12764 and receive a free update. This service requires uses of a 180bbs modem only. If you don't have access to a modem come by the office to receive your update, bring in your proof of purchase for the game. Office hours are monday-friday, just come by and check if we are in.

 

Thank you,

GGP co.

address TBA

phone TBA

 

 10 call char(96,"3C7EFFFFFFFF7E3C") 20 call char(104,"3C7EFFFFFFFF7E3C") 30 call char(112,"3C7EFFFFFFFF7E3C") 40 call char(120,"3C7EFFFFFFFF7E3C") 50 call char(128,"01010101010101018080808080808080FF0000000000000000000000000000FF") 60 call color(9,7,11,10,12,11,11,13,11,12,2,12,13,11,1) 110 CALL CLEAR 120 PRINT "WELCOME TO THE TI-99/4A" 130 PRINT "TRAFFIC LIGHT SIMULATOR" 140 PRINT :: PRINT :: PRINT 150 PRINT "PRESS THE SPACE BAR TO" 160 PRINT "CHANGE THE LIGHT." 170 PRINT :: PRINT :: PRINT 180 PRINT "WATCH THE TIMER TO KNOW" 190 PRINT "WHEN TO CHANGE THE LIGHT" 200 PRINT :: PRINT::PRINT::PRINT 210 PRINT "PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE" 220 INPUT CONT$ 230 IF CONT{:content:}lt;>"" THEN PRINT"ONLY PRESS ENTER, NOTHING ELSE I CAN SEE YOU ARE TROUBLE"::GOTO 210 240 CALL CLEAR 250 CALL VCHAR(10,5,120,3) 260 CALL HCHAR(9,5,131)::CALL HCHAR(13,5,130)::CALL VCHAR(10,4,128,3)::CALL VCHAR(10,6,129,3) 270 SCORE=0 275 SPACE=0 276 STRIKE=0 280 DISPLAY AT(1,1):"SCORE:"&STR$(SCORE) 290 TIME=100 300 DISPLAY AT(2,1):"TIME BEFORE LIGHT CHANGE:"&STR$(TIME) 305 DISPLAY AT(3,1):"STRIKES:"&STR$(STRIKE) 310 DISPLAY AT(20,1):"PRESS SPACE BAR TO START"::GOSUB 1000 311 IF SPACE=0 THEN 310 315 DISPLAY AT(20,1):"" 320 LIGHT=3::TIME=100::SPACE=0::TTC=0 330 CALL RED 355 DISPLAY AT(20,1):"" 360 TIME=TIME-1::DISPLAY AT(2,1):"TIME BEFORE LIGHT CHANGE:"&STR$(TIME) 370 IF (TIME<0)*(TTC=0) THEN DISPLAY AT(20,1):"PRESS SPACE BAR TO CHANGE LIGHT"::TTC=1 380 IF (TTC=0)*(SPACE=1) THEN CALL EARLY::GOTO 320 390 IF (TIME<-15) THEN CALL LATE::GOTO 320 400 IF (TTC=1)*(SPACE=1) THEN GOSUB 1220 500 GOSUB 1000 510 GOTO 360 1000 CALL KEY(0,K,S) 1020 IF K=32 THEN SPACE=1::RETURN 1030 SPACE=0::RETURN 1220 SCORE=SCORE+1::TTC=0::SPACE=0 1230 DISPLAY AT(1,1):"SCORE:"&STR$(SCORE) 1235 CALL HCHAR(20,1,32,50) 1240 IF LIGHT=3 THEN LIGHT=1::TIME=100::CALL GREEN::RETURN 1250 IF LIGHT=2 THEN LIGHT=3::TIME=100::CALL RED::RETURN 1260 IF LIGHT=1 THEN LIGHT=2::TIME=25::CALL YELLOW::RETURN 1270 RETURN 2000 SUB RED:: CALL HCHAR(10,5,96)::CALL HCHAR(11,5,120)::SUBEND 2010 SUB YELLOW::CALL HCHAR(11,5,104)::CALL HCHAR(12,5,120)::SUBEND 2020 SUB GREEN::CALL HCHAR(12,5,112)::CALL HCHAR(10,5,120)::SUBEND 2030 SUB EARLY::DISPLAY AT(20,1):"YOU CHANGED THE LIGHT TO SOON"::CALL STRIKES::SUBEND 2090 SUB FIRED 2100 CALL CLEAR 2110 PRINT"YOU FAILED 3 TIMES TO CHANGE THE LIGHT ON TIME" 2120 PRINT"YOU ARE FIRED" 2130 PRINT"WE THINK WE WILL JUST USE A TI-99!" 2140 END 2150 SUBEND 2160 SUB STRIKES 2170 STRIKE=STRIKE+1 2180 IF STRIKE=3 THEN CALL FIRED 2190 DISPLAY AT(3,1):"STRIKES:"&STR$(STRIKE)::SUBEND 2200 SUB LATE::DISPLAY AT(20,1):"YOU FAILED TO CHANGE LIGHT"::CALL STRIKES::SUBEND

Edited by unhuman
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jchase1970 Moonsweeper

jchase1970

Posted
Posted

You could make this suck more by leveling up. So if you're successful, instead of counting down from 100, make it longer each time. That'll make it harder - and suck more.

 

Dear sir,

Thanks for the input on our newest game. You the valued customer are who we are here to please. This suggestion will be considered for our newest game in development, Traffic Light Simulator 2 - The European Streets.

 

 

Thank you,

GGP co.

address TBA

phone TBA

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unhuman Stargunner

unhuman

Posted
Posted (edited)

DESERT BUS - Updated!!!

 

Drive cross country and back w/o crashing. In real time!

 

DESERTBUS.zip

 

1 HI=0::RANDOMIZE::CALL CHARPAT(ASC("u"),PAT$)::CALL CHAR(ASC("b"),PAT$)
2 RESTORE::FOR I=1 TO 8::READ A,C$::CALL CHAR(A,C$)::NEXT I
10 CALL CLEAR::CALL SCREEN(1)::CALL MAGNIFY(4)
20 FOR I=1 TO 14::CALL COLOR(I, 15, 1)::NEXT I
21 DISPLAY AT(1,20):"HI-SCORE:"::DISPLAY AT(2,27)SIZE(2):HI
30 DISPLAY AT(9,4):"TENN and PELLER'S"::DISPLAY AT(11, 11):"DESERT BUS"
31 DISPLAY AT(20,9):"(C) 2010 bnHUman SOFTWARE"
32 DISPLAY AT(16,4):"DRIVE CROSS COUNTRY..."::DISPLAY AT(17,4):"AND BACK - DON'T CRASH"
33 DISPLAY AT(23,1):"PRESS ANY KEY TO..."::DISPLAY AT(24, :"...BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY"
40 CALL SPRITE(#2,112,5,66,188)::CALL SPRITE(#1,128,15,66,188)
50 CALL KEY(0,K,S)::GOSUB 999::IF S=0 THEN 50
51 CALL CLEAR::DISPLAY AT(1,20):"HI-SCORE:"::DISPLAY AT(2,27)SIZE(2):HI
52 DISPLAY AT(9,4):"PICK GAME:"::DISPLAY AT(11,4): "1 - CLASSIC"::DISPLAY AT(12,4):"2 - RELOADED"
53 DISPLAY AT(24,1):"PRESS NUMBER FOR GAME DESIRE"
54 CALL KEY(0,L,S)::GOSUB 999::IF S=0 THEN 53
55 IF L<>49 AND L<>50 THEN 53 ELSE L=L-47

60 CALL DELSPRITE(ALL)::CALL MAGNIFY(3)::CALL CLEAR::CALL SCREEN(12)::FOR I=1 TO 24::DISPLAY AT(I,12):"	"::NEXT I
70 FOR I=1 TO 8::CALL COLOR(I,2,12)::NEXT I::CALL COLOR(9,2,2)::FOR I=14 TO 19::CALL VCHAR(1,I,96,24)::NEXT I
80 FOR I=0 TO 6::CALL SPRITE(#20+I,136,15,I*34+1,120)::NEXT I::CALL SPRITE(#27,140,11+3-L,20,80)
90 FOR I=0 TO 7::CALL MOTION(#20+I,10,0)::NEXT I
100 SCORE=0::ODO=0::DISPLAY AT(1,1)SIZE(6):"SPEED:"::DISPLAY AT(4,1)SIZE(4):"ODO:"::DISPLAY AT(5,3)SIZE(4):USING "####":ODO
110 DISPLAY AT(7,1)SIZE(4):"DIR:"
120 DISPLAY AT(1,20):"HI-SCORE:"::DISPLAY AT(2,27)SIZE(2):HI::DISPLAY AT(4,23):"SCORE:"::DISPLAY AT(5,27)SIZE(2):SCORE
130 X=120::SKEW=0::CALL SPRITE(#2,112,5,150,X)::CALL SPRITE(#1,128,15,150,X)

500 FOR DIR=1 TO 2::IF DIR=1 THEN DISPLAY AT(8,3)SIZE(4):"WEST" ELSE DISPLAY AT(8,3)SIZE(4):"EAST"
501 FOR L1 = 1 TO 2973
502 FOR M = 1 TO 73
900 SPEED=59+INT(RND*3)::DISPLAY AT(2,4)SIZE(3):SPEED
908 IF RND > .5 THEN SKEW = INT(RND*L)::IF L=3 THEN SKEW=SKEW-1
909 CALL SOUND(-1500,-6,29)
910 CALL JOYST(1,JX,JY):=X+JX/2+SKEW::CALL LOCATE(#1,150,X,#2,150,X)
920 IF X<104 OR X>138 THEN 1000
990 GOSUB 999

991 NEXT M::ODO=ODO+1::DISPLAY AT(5,3)SIZE(4):USING "####":ODO::NEXT L1::CALL SOUND(100,110,0)::NEXT DIR
998 GOTO 1500

999 CALL PATTERN(#2,INT(RND*4)*4+112)::CALL PATTERN(#1,INT(RND*2)*4+128)::RETURN

1000 FOR I=27 TO 20 STEP -1::CALL MOTION(#I,0,0)::NEXT I
1005 FOR I=1 TO 5::CALL SOUND(50,-7,0)::CALL SCREEN(3)::CALL SOUND(50,-6,0)::CALL SCREEN(7)::NEXT I
1010 CALL SOUND(-1000,-6,0)::FOR I=1 TO 8::CALL COLOR(I,2,7)::NEXT I::CALL DELSPRITE(#1,#2)
1020 FOR I=1000 TO 150 STEP -50::CALL SOUND(100,I,0)::NEXT I::CALL DELSPRITE(ALL)::GOTO 10

1500 SCORE=SCORE+1::DISPLAY AT(5,27)SIZE(2):SCORE::IF SCORE>HI THEN HI=SCORE::DISPLAY AT(2,27)SIZE(2):HI
1501 FOR I=26 TO 20 STEP -1::CALL MOTION(#I,0,0)::NEXT I
1502 FOR I=1 TO 3::FOR J=0+I*110 TO 550+I*110 STEP 40::CALL SOUND(-100,J,0)::NEXT J::NEXT I

1999 CALL DELSPRITE(ALL)::CALL COLOR(1,1,1)::CALL SCREEN(1)::CALL CLEAR::GOTO 10

2000 DATA 112,"0F193171717F7F7F7F7F7F7F3F12120CF0988C8E8EFEFEFEFEFEFEFEFC484830"
2010 DATA 116,"0F193171717F7F7F7F7F7F7F3F12120CF0988C8E8EFEFEFEFEFEFEFEFC483000"
2020 DATA 120,"0F193171717F7F7F7F7F7F7F3F120C00F0988C8E8EFEFEFEFEFEFEFEFC484830"
2030 DATA 124,"0F193171717F7F7F7F7F7F7F3F120C00F0988C8E8EFEFEFEFEFEFEFEFC483000"
2040 DATA 128,"0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000080C07020301000000000"
2050 DATA 132,"00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000002C0818101000000000"
2060 DATA 136,"0000000101010101010101010101000000000080808080808080808080800000"
2070 DATA 140,"0003072676775F7D2F1D0F070707060000008080B0A8A8A8F8D8F8C0C0C04000"

Edited by unhuman
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Tursi Quadrunner

Tursi

Posted
Posted

Desert Bus, well done!! I think you managed to sneak in more gameplay, though - their bus only drifts to the right!

 

That whole collection of Sega CD games and tricks (Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors) was pretty neat. Desert Bus had one extra feature though -- if you did drift off the road, you sat there and waited for a tow truck, which would lift the back of the bus, and DRAG YOU ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE START. ;)

 

The other awesome thing was after you managed your six-hour-one-way trip, you finally got scored. There were six digits in your score, and the trip was worth ONE point. Then you were offered a chance to go back. ;) The only change in the scenery was twice during the six hour period a bug splatted on the window. ;)

 

According to a podcast by Penn I came across, they were planning a huge contest around Desert Bus, where the highest score would get a real desert party bus ride, a weekend at the Rio, and so forth. Sadly the whole game, which was pretty much done, was cancelled before release.

 

He also mentioned my favourite line - if you selected "Impossible" difficulty for the adventure game, it would let you play for a while, then it would switch to a cut-scene in which you were informed, "It says it's IMPOSSIBLE. Impossible doesn't mean 'really hard', it means like 'eating the sun'!" ;)

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Vorticon Quadrunner

+Vorticon

Posted
Posted

I think we should give an award on whoever can actually FINISH a TI game, crap or not. There seems to be a lot of unfinished games. :)

 

Unfinished, yet! I always finish what I start, but usually after a fair amount of side-tracking :P Need an example? This year I finished no less than 7 ASCII based games in Turbo Pascal using a combination of the IBM PCjr and a TRS 80 model 4 running CP/M as part of a project to redo and preserve some of the original classic games dating from the early days of computing. Then the last three and a half weeks I frantically put together 3 mathematical demo programs for the TI in assembly Which I will present at the upcoming Chicago Faire this Saturday. I'm hoping to go back and finish Ultimate Planet this year. We'll see about that :ponder: Remember, this is a hobby after all, and it should never feel like work :lol:

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unhuman Stargunner

unhuman

Posted
Posted

Yeah, I innovated. I didn't feel that an "exact" port would be fair. Also, I need to update the colors. As far as what happens / points / whatever... I have some stuff in there. I do think my game ending is too "rich" however.

 

I guess I won't get those 3 hours back

 

-H

 

Desert Bus, well done!! I think you managed to sneak in more gameplay, though - their bus only drifts to the right!

 

That whole collection of Sega CD games and tricks (Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors) was pretty neat. Desert Bus had one extra feature though -- if you did drift off the road, you sat there and waited for a tow truck, which would lift the back of the bus, and DRAG YOU ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE START. ;)

 

The other awesome thing was after you managed your six-hour-one-way trip, you finally got scored. There were six digits in your score, and the trip was worth ONE point. Then you were offered a chance to go back. ;) The only change in the scenery was twice during the six hour period a bug splatted on the window. ;)

 

According to a podcast by Penn I came across, they were planning a huge contest around Desert Bus, where the highest score would get a real desert party bus ride, a weekend at the Rio, and so forth. Sadly the whole game, which was pretty much done, was cancelled before release.

 

He also mentioned my favourite line - if you selected "Impossible" difficulty for the adventure game, it would let you play for a while, then it would switch to a cut-scene in which you were informed, "It says it's IMPOSSIBLE. Impossible doesn't mean 'really hard', it means like 'eating the sun'!" ;)

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Willsy River Patroller

Willsy

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Traffic Light Simulator by Greater Games Publishing co. © 2010

 

Now you're starting to get it! Not only does the execution/programming of the game have to be crap, but the *idea* behind the game has to be utter shit as well. The worse the better. And if it can possibly be in bad taste, so much the better!

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