The Obligatory "post-divorce, thinking of selling my collection" thread

[onthinice]

_{Hey! Hope your doing well?}

 

_{Went through the divorce thing last year. Almost 20 years of marriage. We were not happy and it was for the best. She took the Wii and my heart but I got over the loss of the Wii.}

 

_{You do not mention any other concerns like kids or if things are final by the courts of the land. No business of mine either. Divorce can cause a lot of after feelings. Just like the loss of a loved one. Which it is. Eventually acceptance arrives.}

 

_{Seems like you have a good head on your shoulders. Only advice I can offer and it is free. Do not rush any decisions without thinking it over.}

[Eltigro]

 

yeah.... I don't see the reception to that being very promising "oh, boo hoo. He had to sell some video games. Meanwhile folks are dealing with cancer and poverty"

Who said it had to be sad? It would just be different. A show about selling off a collection... telling a story about finding a buyer and telling their story, telling the story of the game and the seller's history with it. Wasn't meaning for it to be some sappy show to compete with other people's issues, but thanks for being condescending in putting down my idea.

[keepdreamin]

That wasn't condescending, that was a critique and potential result of your idea. Condescending would have started something like Wow! That's an amazing idea, genius.

[Flojomojo]

How about we stop tearing each other down on this Mother's Day.

 

A little presentation doesn't need to be sad or even have an audience. It doesn't need to be a video, either. Everyone wants different things out of collecting "stuff," but it seems to me that simple photographing items before you sell them is a decent way to think about a collection. It's the whole reason Pinterest exists. You don't necessarily need to own something to have it mean something to you.

 

I get just as much pleasure browsing the Star Wars toys on rebelscum.com than I would blowing tons of money and space on owning all that junk. Same thing with games. KLOV and MAME are arguably better than even the best 1980s style arcade.

[Eltigro]

Was just trying to find a way to combine Taskenlander's passion for film making and story telling with his need to downsize. If it's not for everyone that's fine. It doesn't have to be. It could be more for him, as I said, as a therapeutic outlet.

[Cynicaster]

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I’d sell all shelf-queen consoles and keep only the absolute must-haves (in my case, Atari 2600 and NES) and even for those systems I’d sell most of the games and replace them with flash carts. The MAME cabinet is a fabulous choice too, because it provides a TON of awesome content for a fairly reasonable one-time cost. Together, these things add up to a lot of gaming possibilities but without the girl-repelling clutter and without that vaguely uneasy feeling that comes with having large sums of money tied up in collections of things with volatile value.

 

Having done the divorce thing myself, I think you’re wise to step back a little bit from the games. Games are good clean fun under most circumstances, but if I had to go through that post-divorce rebuilding phase again I’d be wary of leaning on things like video games too much. Sure, they provide great in-the-moment escapism and comfort but it shouldn’t be at the expense of other pursuits that might help longer term well-being and emotional health. For example, making a decision to learn how to cook and get into shape is an investment that will pay dividends for the rest of your life, while playing video games only pays off in the fleeting moments you’re actually playing.

 

Like others have said, if there is any silver lining to separation, it is that you get a chance to be selfish for a while and do new things that maybe you couldn’t before because you had to take somebody else’s wants and needs into consideration.

Edited May 15, 2017 by Cynicaster

[Flojomojo]

I’d sell all shelf-queen consoles

 

I agree with everything you just said, but this phrase is pure awesome. Shelf queen needs more votes on Urbandictionary.

[Tanooki]

It is a good one, just right up there with collectard. You begin collecting, take it too far into being a collectard, and then in turn you're converted into royalty, a shelf queen who leaves pretty things for the masses to revel over like you're something special but personally value very little and pay even less time to than that.

 

If it wasn't some shred of regret or remorse despite only acquiring such things in the last 3-6 months I'd probably offload the amazing Wii and Dreamcast(which I modded with a replaceable cell battery coin slot since it was dead) and the few games I have to lessen the burden of them being there. Thing is I actually do use them, just not enough for the value I suppose.

[Keatah]

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I’d sell all shelf-queen consoles and keep only the absolute must-haves (in my case, Atari 2600 and NES) and even for those systems I’d sell most of the games and replace them with flash carts. The MAME cabinet is a fabulous choice too, because it provides a TON of awesome content for a fairly reasonable one-time cost. Together, these things add up to a lot of gaming possibilities but without the girl-repelling clutter and without that vaguely uneasy feeling that comes with having large sums of money tied up in collections of things with volatile value.

 

That made my day. MAME bartops or MAME built into X-Arcade controllers is simply too cool for school. The wife has one and loves the convenience and ability to move from game to game without hassle.

 

And about the girl-repelling clutter. It's very simple. The wife abhors the stuff I haul in from flea markets, estate sales, craigslist, and ebay. Not that I do it every day or anything. At the same time she thinks the couple of Apple II systems and vintage 486 are interesting and amusing when they're nicely setup. Hence why I'm reshaping my hoard, and it is a hoard, no matter how I or anyone else tries to justify it.

 

A couple of consoles are unique and even special. But hundreds of carts and consoles dilute and diminish any meaning the best ones may have.

[Flojomojo]

I think crazy old Keatah has a point!

 

A restored classic car is cool.

 

A yard full of works-in-progress, less so.

 

A junkyard is worst of all.

 

"Girl-repelling clutter" is definitely a thing, and it works both ways.

[Tanooki]

He's right. I've been picking off stuff from my game wall, and a bit from the manga (hiding in a huge closet of shelves), some good bit of my Lego, and some antique/antique toys too. What was there 1 year ago, 5 years, ago 10-15 years ago you'd be amazed as someone who had no clue probably would still look and be like, that's a couple hundred things sheesh. And I'm coming off a couple thousand plus.

[NE146]

This way, I can still play 100's of retro titles and I can put the money towards (finally) resuming making films to enter in festivals/upload to vimeo, etc. Is that a decent price for a bartop of that quality?

 

Ebay going rate of 800-1k seems very steep to me for a rpi barcade. But if you don't want to do the labor, buy extra parts (rpi3, monitor, controls, amp, speakers, t-molding, etc.) , not to mention hunting for roms, it's probably worth it to some in that respect. YMMV.

Edited May 16, 2017 by NE146

[Andromeda Stardust]

Ebay going rate of 800-1k seems very steep to me for a rpi barcade. But if you don't want to do the labor, buy extra parts (rpi3, monitor, controls, amp, speakers, t-molding, etc.) , not to mention hunting for roms, it's probably worth it to some in that respect. YMMV.

It all adds up. Quickly. That said, a properly set up bartop MAME is the best way to appreciate arcade games. To me, the miniature arcade form factor makes it come alive.

[Catsmasher]

Wow.

Asking for life advice from a bunch of video game collectors is a pretty risky move.

But since you asked ...

Unless you were playing games non-stop all the time instead of working or looking for a job - there is nothing wrong with having a hobby.

I collect and play old video games (I have 30+ consoles, 15+ handhelds and a MAME cabinet). It is all downstairs in the man cave - she gets the rest of the house

I play games a few hours a week and she watches her stupid hallmark movies and fixer upper show.

Keep it reasonable, dude - and find a woman who is OK with it because it is you. Don't try to change just because someone else doesnt like who you are. If she isn't OK with it, then she is not the one. There is someone for everyone - Hell, I see guys with girls at comic con all the time.

In case you haven't noticed - it is OK to be a geek these days. Hell, you should have grown up back in the 70s and 80s when I did. You had to hide in the basement and pretty much give up on ever having a girlfriend.

Keep it reasonable and be yourself - cant go wrong.

[HoshiChiri]

Catsmasher's got a point- unless you were obsessed with constant checks for the best deal, or bought everything in the last 2-3 years, I can't imagine a collection of 200 games taking up that much of your time (hell, I work 2 terrible retail jobs and will likely break 800 games by the end of the year.) Perhaps it's less "I game too much" and more "we had incompatible hobbies" or something.

 

Anyway- if you've got around 25 consoles, that's an average of 10-11 games a machine. Enough to count as a proper collection- but barely, and it's not likely you collected so evenly. I'd start off by evaluating your smallest system collections- are the games exclusive, or can you rebuy them for another system? Are they arcade ports that would convert well in your planned barcade? If you can't produce at least a few titles for the machine that require that system (& therefore justify you owning it), get rid of it. Obviously you're not super-set on original hardware, so if you've got all the machines that make up the retron 5, maybe sell them off for a retron 5. Do you collect CIB? Do you need to? Downgrading to game-only can result in extra money and space. That way, even if you decide not to go scorched earth & get rid of everything in favor of a barcade, you can still cut back to save some space.

[NE146]

For console games, don't forget that keeping the consoles, and getting a single Everdrive these days is a viable option.. keeps it real and saves space too.

 

My kids love the barcade but they (and I) rarely play console games such as NES/SNES/Genesis, etc. on it. It just feels "off". Shooters are an obvious exception.

[Keatah]

That's right. Playing consoles on barcades is a strange experience. Like I would feel out of place playing Star Raiders or Apple II stuff on a barcade. It can sometimes help to put in connectors for handheld controllers - then it's not so bad.

 

Sometimes a separate energy-efficient computer with separate monitor is a better experience for some console emulators.

[Keatah]

Heh. When the wife bitches about me playing too many games I just put up a debugger screen or something technical on the 3rd monitor and life is good again.

[Nebulon]

I would not sell a thing. I'd just turn my whole new place into one big man cave. And the best part it about all, she won't be there to complain about it.

 

You know, this does have possibilities.

 

Maybe a compromise between this and selling off certain items that really don't mean too much to you.

 

Then keep the stuff that you really like, and set aside a little space for it so that you can still enjoy it.

 

Between that and avoiding being a completist, you should be able to save enough to gradually build up your production/post-production studio gear. And for that, just focus on the most useful and productive essentials. You can always upgrade to fancier equipment later. The main thing is to get the core items that allow you to make the content that you want to create. It's possible to do really cool stuff on a budget these days. Use that emotional turmoil to make something that moves the viewer. As a director of photography once told me, "The perfect demo reel would be one that makes me laugh, makes me cry, and leaves me wanting more."

[Professor Gull]

You mentioned when you started that some of the physical nostalgia is with the games you own but its not them physically but the memories of them as such. So why not as you release your items into the wild should that be your decision maybe ask the buyers to send back some bits to see the story carried on. I have a few games I got as gifts or random good points of charity that hold that same deal so maybe just suggesting that to help you move onward might be something to consider.

 

Good luck with it all and Game on in any and every way you can.

[Cynicaster]

 

That made my day. MAME bartops or MAME built into X-Arcade controllers is simply too cool for school. The wife has one and loves the convenience and ability to move from game to game without hassle.

 

And about the girl-repelling clutter. It's very simple. The wife abhors the stuff I haul in from flea markets, estate sales, craigslist, and ebay. Not that I do it every day or anything. At the same time she thinks the couple of Apple II systems and vintage 486 are interesting and amusing when they're nicely setup. Hence why I'm reshaping my hoard, and it is a hoard, no matter how I or anyone else tries to justify it.

 

A couple of consoles are unique and even special. But hundreds of carts and consoles dilute and diminish any meaning the best ones may have.

 

Yeah. I think the dynamic is much different in a long-established relationship vs. being single and dating.

 

Most single people -- both men and women, especially if they're coming out of long term relationships -- get to a point where they realize they need to step up their game a bit to help their chances. Lots of these people like to say "hey, I just be myself and if people don't like it then screw 'em" but let's get real here--most of those same people, assuming they ever want to get laid again, start to consciously put way more effort than what comes naturally into how they look and what impression they give off to eligible suitors. It's just how it works.

 

New clothes and a bit of weight loss are popular items to address, but how you keep your home reveals a lot about you as well--probably more, actually. If your home -- especially main living spaces -- is crammed to the brim with crates full of decades-old gaming stuff, then lots of women are going to run for the hills.

 

"Well screw 'em," you say, "if they don't accept me for who I am, then they're no good for me anyway."

 

That's one way of looking at it. Another way is, "gee, I can skinny this mess of stuff down to a fraction of the size, pick up some flash carts, and still get most of the same enjoyment out of this hobby as I do now." In doing so, you open up the possibility of meeting that woman who doesn't necessarily mind a quirky hobby like retro gaming one bit, so long as it is kept within reasonable bounds. Kind of like how she's probably not going to care much if you order a beer at dinner, but if you order 9 pints and get completely shitbagged she's going to pull the chute because that is not the kind of excess to which she is looking to hook her wagon.

 

When I was dating I didn't hide the fact that I like playing retro games (good thing, because the 6'3" tall MAME cabinet wouldn't fit in the closet) but I definitely maintained tight control over how my inner-nerd revealed itself. It worked out great--I'm re-married now, and my wife is quite a good catch. I'm happy with the amount of gaming time I get, and I've not had a single argument with my wife over gaming since the day we met 4 years ago. I think a big part of that is due to a lesson I learned with my first wife--that is, if you get too engrossed in a hobby and your wife starts to get annoyed by it, then it can become a festering sore subject. If you want to enjoy your hobbies care free (i.e., without causing strain in your marriage), it's best to find that balance where you're happy with the level of fulfillment you're getting from the hobby while simultaneously always looking for ways to keep the hobby as unobtrusive to your partner as possible. She can't get annoyed with a Bubsy cartridge she's not tripping over and, let's face it, you could probably scratch your Bubsy itch with an emulator anyway.

[HoshiChiri]

You mentioned when you started that some of the physical nostalgia is with the games you own but its not them physically but the memories of them as such. So why not as you release your items into the wild should that be your decision maybe ask the buyers to send back some bits to see the story carried on. I have a few games I got as gifts or random good points of charity that hold that same deal so maybe just suggesting that to help you move onward might be something to consider.

 

Good luck with it all and Game on in any and every way you can.

 

Oh man, dude- that's your movie right there. Pick a couple focus items, go over your history with them, the process of choosing what to get rid of, finding a buyer, & what the buyer did with it. It'd be like one of those life of an animal stories (Black Beauty, Call of the Wild, etc.) but with a game.

 

 

New clothes and a bit of weight loss are popular items to address, but how you keep your home reveals a lot about you as well--probably more, actually. If your home -- especially main living spaces -- is crammed to the brim with crates full of decades-old gaming stuff, then lots of women are going to run for the hills.

 

There is a lot of truth of this. If I can keep 35 consoles/handhelds & 784 games, plus controllers, cables & accessories, in a couple of bookcases in a back bedroom- a living room filled with crates to the point of being inaccessible, it is a sure sign that we have crossed the line from 'collects & plays old games' to 'full blown hoarder'. Don't be a hoarder, kids.

[TaskenLander]

Wow. So much food for thought... Thanks, again, for all the earnest, friendly helpful feedback. I'm officially starting my first week in my new apartment, I LOVE IT, but it is QUITE the adjustment living alone for the first time ever. I miss (aspects of) the wife and absolutely miss my nine-year-old stepson who I'd often play co-op SNES/Genesis/Wii and N64 games with in the old game room. Lots of bittersweet memories in these boxes and no time yet to unpack them as I'm working full-time while also starting a (hopeful) new job that'll hopefully lead to much more fulfillment and better opportunities.

[Keatah]

Maybe going with a combination of flashcart and emulation could maximize bang for the amount of space consumed.

[DickNixonArisen]

I divorced once while holding a pretty significant amount of stuff... I mean not compared to some of the heavyweights here but 1,500-2,000 titles across platforms. I boxed and stored it all, I was lucky I had a place to leave it (parent's basement, from whence It sprang so many years ago) and every once in a while I went over there and tried to organize it but eventually it started to feel like a burden. I was thinking i'd save it for children or sell when appropriate, and that time finally came. I got rid of all Wii, GCN, GBA, DS, DC, random peripherals and doubles of everything... and it felt good. I felt lighter. I still have more than I could ever play, and I have a child now so... Some of what I still have I'll piece out and some I'll keep but as far as partners opinions of them... as long as you're sane and clean about it most don't mind. Which is a good reminder to do what I think all collectors should try to do: specialize. Have a really good collection for a few systems instead of scattered disorganized stuff. Much more interesting and appealling.

 

Keep your head up. My divorce was a gift. Not the best gift she ever gave me (nice chainmail doublet) or second (GEN Musha) but definitely the third.