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The review of A-Z of Atari ST Games Volume 3 book RetroLaird is trying to delete!


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4 hours ago, CyranoJ said:

Again, you need to realize he is not a normal person and you are wasting your time.

 

Even if he did hire someone to do all that for him, can you imagine the first time they point out a problem?  Jesus, who'd want that job?

 

 

He's like the model T-800 Terminators Skynet sends out with his  neural net CPU locked,unable to learn and adapt.

 

 

Kyle Reese : Listen, and understand! That Kierona is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, and it absolutely will not stop...

 

 

 

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50 minutes ago, Welshworrier said:

Neither rottweilers or weird atheists would agree. Sorry for seizing on that.

 

(the only rule that has more exceptions than compliers)

Indeed, but it does apply when spelling that twats name  

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6 hours ago, Landstalker said:

Hmmm.

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Just gonna say it now; I called this one when I started dumping my evidence a couple of weeks back - his anger started back up at me immediately after I posted a list of accounts I dug and suspected to be his here about 10 or 15 pages back. It’s not even clever; the dick’s ego means he always has to self-reference even when trying to ‘hide’ - it uses an Atari as the backdrop of a terribly-composited image (the same quality of his wanky book covers and shitty title cards on his videos that look like they were made in WordArt or something), uses an ID attacking someone he wants to set up, and created during the fallout of Horacegate - this was one of those “I’ll blame all the hate from this on everyone I want to bring down” accounts he desperately set up to damage control the walls starting to crumble around him. That PoppyFluoxetine one that started back up too once all this fallout began, because his hatred of women also knows no bounds.

 

Been watching all of the ones I listed, and then some. It was inevitable he would go back to one he hadn’t used in a while sooner rather than later, and already outed himself by self-referencing, being stupid enough to bite to a reply, his ego forcing him to take ownership of anything referencing him after a few days out, and using the exact same all-capturing hashtag of #retrogaming and the same vernacular as all his primary sockpuppets. What a waste of space. 

4 hours ago, PlanB said:

But he hasn't done any of this. All he has done is provide 15 pages of pure bollocks.

.... which has been the reason that about 40 pages have been written here since, disproving everything he wrote in that, too. I only dumped about half of the things I had completely disproving what was said about me personally in that ‘F- essay’ he wrote and it was all devastating enough to bring out the youtubers and other people to further confirm his bullshit, confirms his misogynistic and sexist opinions, and proved how he fabricates ‘evidence’, claims ownership to events that don’t have anything to do with him and disgustingly uses his family as a shield when all else fails.

 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Quite simply the most reprehensible and irredeemable piece of shit anyone could ever have the misfortune to meet.

 

Enjoyed the silence...for the whole 3 days it lasted.

 

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Predictably stupid until the end. Crawl back under your rock and never come back out. Oh and let’s not forget the other half of the evidence I’ve not dumped yet, if you really want to keep pulling at that thread....

 

 

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All of the above made for much easier reading than A Compendium of ZX Spectrum Games by you know who.

In all honesty, the level of writing is shockingly infantile and painful to endure for more than two "reviews" at a time.
My intention is to "read" this thing from cover to cover, making notes as I go, but I haven't finished the letter A yet and I've got writer's cramp. Once that's complete, then there's some research.

But my, this is a chore just to read.
 

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Update about the c64.com interview: Andreas Wallström is the author of the Kristi Louise Herd interview Kierona Hawkerus plagiarized his text for the Blue Lightning feature in issue 152 of Retro Gamer. His first name was at the very end of his interview and he was not credited on the special thanks section of the magazine...

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5 minutes ago, Welshworrier said:

And me just one day from retirement in the police force, my daughters wedding coming up and getting my pension....

 

Thought you'd been "outed" as making fraudulent claims regarding your Law-Enforcement involvement? ;)

 

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I've just been reading some of Karen Hawking's best ' Journalism ' -

The A-Z of Commodore 64 Games Volume 1 and I agree with LandStalker, that it is a painful experience.

 

I'm only going to break down a very brief passage, from his review of ESWAT.

 

The self proclaimed (no one else is calling you it, Karen) 'Game Historian' fails to inform the reader that ESWAT's coin-op progenitor was called 'Cyber Police ESWAT' , despite mentioning the Cyber Suit upgrade that features prominently; in his 'review'. 

 

it's a side scrolling action styled shooting game apparently though most of us would just call it a Side-Scrolling Shoot 'Em Up or Shooter.

 

He then goes on to mention the Atari ST and Arcade versions of Robocop specifically. For no bloody reason.

 

As if the ST and Arcade versions are different to all over versions, which they are not.

Despite what his favourite reputable source (can you guess?) says...

 

I've played every single version of Robocop and they are exactly the same save for the obvious allowances for hardware differences.

 

Some have brief mini-games (64) but the side scrolling fighting/shooting sections are the crux of all of them!

 

Wikipedia's assertion of:

Despite being an arcade game, numerous versions appeared for home computers and video game consoles.

 

? Sounds like something Karen would say. Despite! fuck right off. Most arcades got home versions because they were popular coin-ops.

 

In 1989, Ocean released a different Robocop game that only bore a loose resemblance to the arcade.#

 

#Bullshit. Mini games aside, they're all the same.

 

Ok getting back to my point; Now if said Robocop were in any way a rarity in being a side scrolling shooter (and none of the other conversions were) this might be a good reference to make; as it is, it makes no sense what-so-ever.

 

Side scrolling shooters are very much a big thing in retro gaming, am I wrong?

 

Are there any people reading this 'book' and thinking, I don't know, I've never played a game like that before ?

 

On top of which, every Shoot Em Up ever made is Action based.

State the fucking obvious why don't you?

 

In my 37 years of gaming, I am yet to play a laid back shooter. 


And finally, why use a few descriptive words which make sense when you can use lots of words you yourself (Karen) don't understand the meaning or use of and cluster them together into an untangle-able mess that the poor bastard who paid good money to read this shit will need to re-read about 30 times before they comprehend what the twat that let's face it, cut and pasted it together is trying to say ?

 

You can tell the reviews he has lifted from elsewhere because they make some sense and in doing so stick out like a sore thumb.

 

It's like wading through treacle for fucks sake.

 

Bomb Jack C64 Review.jpg

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;-) For  those ahem.."enjoying" Kierona's games reviews, wait till you get to his multi-platform review of Barbarian (Palace Software). 

 

Kierona references the games controversy over the ability to chop someone's head clean off with an AXE.

 

No Kierona, that'd be Barbarian II.

 

Clue is kinda in the titles for the North American releases:

 

Barbarian:Death Sword 

 

Barbarian :Axe Of Rage.

 

 

 

And this is the individual that was trying to be the middle man for Epyx not so long ago?  

 

 

Sheesh.

 

 

As for the C64 Volume 1 Guide:

 

That's the one where he used the generic Enduro Racer review text and forgets to change score, slags C64 version off, recommends people try the superior Buggy Boy and then awards this awful game and 8/10 

 

He mentions there not really being anything else out there quite like Bomb Jack..

 

Except Bombo (Rhino software), Baby Jack 1 and 2 (Double Density) on C64...

 

Bomber Jack (Amiga)

 

Edited by Lost Dragon
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1 hour ago, Lost Dragon said:

Karen references the games controversy over the ability to chop someone's head clean off with an AXE.

 

No Kierona, that'd be Barbarian II.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

 

I can say with total confidence that he is right that it was Barbarian: The Ultimate Warrior. The first game...

 

Barbarian II has no gore. Not sure why the name changes. It takes place in a dungeon type environment. There's no blood, it's all weird Monsters.

 

Germany in particular had a strict gore list. ( National Regulator of Media that could have a Harmful effect on Children or something like that!)

 

Others like Mortal Kombat went on it later and if I remember rightly they told the developers to change the colour of blood,  again, like they had with Barbarian.

 

I think some of the Silent Hill's may have 'got the treatment as well'.

 

Here in the United Kingdom we had the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles.

All the cartoons and films had the weapons shots edited heavily and they took out all reference and images of things like Flying Stars.

1 hour ago, Lost Dragon said:

And this is the individual that was trying to be the middle man for Epyx not so long ago?  

On 3/10/2010 at 8:57 PM, The_Laird said:

My name is Karen Hawkings and represent Epyx Software, yes, the very same Epyx that produced such classics as California Games, Impossible Mission, Chip's Challenge, Slime World and Jumpman (among many many others!)


So where do you lot come in I hear you ask?

(The real date was 03-09-2018 @ 08:11)

In warning potential victims of your previous behaviour, you cunt.

1 hour ago, Lost Dragon said:

That's the one where he used the generic Enduro Racer review text and forgets to change score, slags C64 version off, recommends people try the superior Buggy Boy and then awards this awful game and 8/10 

I've got a second version of Enduro Racer that I liked very much as a kid.

It was on Beau Jolly Big 30. 

Not sure why Buggy Boy is a sub for a motorbike based racer either. Outrun Europa has a very nice motorbike section.

1 hour ago, Lost Dragon said:

He mentions there not really being anything else out there quite like Bomb Jack..

 

Except Bombo (Rhino software), Baby Jack 1 and 2 (Double Density) on C64...

 

Bomber Jack (Amiga)

as well as Bomb Runner (1987)

 

Mighty Bombjack (1990)

 

and Bomb Fusion (1989) though different has a touch of the Bomb Jacks about it as well...

And that excludes Bomb Jack II.

 

In the world of games to call anything 'unique' is a clown statement.

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Barbarian had Wolf posing with the sword. Barbarian II had Wolf posing with the Axe.

 

He's correct about the original having the controversy, it's the weapons where he makes his school boy error.

 

Barbarian was controversial for the head decapitation,  blood spurt, Goblin dragging corpse off screen etc,but the Axe didn't appear till the sequel. 

 

 

Axe appears on title screen,let alone in-game:

 

 

Pal Silent Hill was censored, gone were the knife wielding skinless babies and came the bizzare demonic teddy bears. 

 

We should really mention Kierona and his ST Robocop review.

 

ST A to Z volume 2.

 

 


Kierona talks of the fact he couldn't help but wish Ocean had updated the amazing ZX Spectrum version for the ST and the ST version lacks polish and the main sprite is weedy.

We intereviewed Peter Johnson,  coder of the ST version for Ocean..

back in  ST Gamer Magazine,Volume 2 ( a pdf publication Kierona ridiculed at the time) and he describes the ST version as a "fairly straight forward conversion from the ZX Spectrum version" (with the Data East coin-op platform sections included , as he played the coin-op a lot during coding the ST version, having it in a suitcase version).

 

 

He hand drew and coloured the ST sprites, including Robocop himself, over the monochrome ZX Spectrum sprites.

Kierona got what he wished for, an updated ZX Spectrum conversion to the ST.

As for the lack of polish:Peter has said he had to include "Ugly borders" on the ST version, to cover up the scrolling background data, so he didn't have to mask edges of the play area.
 

 

Even taking his ignorance into account for the ST review,  as has been pointed out, why on earth would ST Robocop be used as an example of the type of gameplay Eswat offers on the C64?

 

It's like he's compelled to bring Atari into everything he writes on.

 

 

Vince raises yet another valid point about Enduro Racer on the C64, there are 2 versions available,  something that appears totally unknown to Kierona,yet these guides on Amazon.co.uk etc are praised for their research. 

 

 

The compilation contains a different version of Wonderboy on C64 as well, but it looks like the enhanced Enduro Racer was intended for US Market:

 

https://www.gamesthatwerent.com/gtw64/enduro-racer-v2/

 

 

With research like this, little wonder RG magazine rejected his pitch for the ZX Spectrum Making Of:Batman The Movie (another reason he claims he moved on for writing for them). 

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57 minutes ago, Lost Dragon said:

Barbarian had Wolf posing with the sword. Barbarian II had Wolf posing with the Axe.

Ah right. I see what you mean now you have clarified your point.

57 minutes ago, Lost Dragon said:

With research like this, little wonder RG magazine rejected his pitch for the ZX Spectrum Making Of:Batman The Movie (another reason he claims he moved on for writing for them). 

Where does this come from ? Maybe Mike Lamb the coder of the Spectrum version if I remember correctly had clocked Karen's claims of having written HIS Steve Davis Snooker.

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Can everyone please use the "man's" actual name?  Please?

 

Every time you use some 'funny' name you are making it less likely people will find this thread in Googling.  Which is kind of the point of this thread.

 

Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken 

Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken  Kieren Hawken 

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Before the proverbial balloon went up for Kieren Hawken,  people had noticed an absence of his articles in RetroGamer Magazine. 

 

Kieren Hawken had up until this point, been a regular name within it's pages and after the Jaguar Anniversary article, nothing.

 

 

Kieren was at the same time on social media talking about how poor each months new issue was and how he'd be cancelling his subscription and how his article pitches had been rejected.

 

The Making Of ZX Spectrum Batman The Movie stuck in my head,as RG usually want Making Of articles to cover ALL formats, Myth (System 3) was originally pitched by G.Mason as a Making Of on Spectrum, rejected and told to rework to cover everything. 

 

Big mistake as writer wasn't aware of C64 Cartridge version, nor Mark Cale lied about the ST version being finished and released and editor threw in the box out on NES version.. 

 

 

I think Kieren also pitched a Making Of Bill And Ted on the Atari Lynx, but that was turned into a feature looking at all the games based on the film.

 

I know he was trying to reach the Lynx coder and stated it was for a feature on the Lynx version specifically. 

 

Found it:

https://www.pressreader.com/uk/retro-gamer/20171228/281595240883584

 

Though why he's surprised the NES and GB versions are different is beyond me, Alien 3 on NES and GB totally different games (GB title one of the few games on the machine i actually enjoyed). 

 

 

Lynx Bill and Ted pulled in 14% from ST Format,  odd title to pitch a Making Of...especially if your sat on so much unseen material, but that's Kieren for you :-)) 

 

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Last one..

 

Going back to the quote from Kieren Hawken that was put up a few days ago, where Kieren claimed his RetroGamer Magazine work proved his critics wrong, issue 125 is an interesting one:

 

https://issuu.com/roylazarovich/docs/retro_gamer_125

 

Kieren appears 3 times in the magazine, Atari 8-bit 35 years young as main feature, but it's the others that stood out.

 

Prior to his micro interview with Al Baker, Kieren, in his Atari expert role,  had been telling everybody Lynx Paperboy was based on the ST versions code.

 

Al begged to differ.

 

 

The Acorn Archimedes Minority Report got information about E-Type and Apocalypse wrong,  Apocalypse of course featuring no in-game music, unless your Kieren Hawken and you just watched a YT video of it and didn't realise someone had overlaid a music track on the footage. 

 

Chin up Kieren, you got paid for all this tripe and that must of been a good month for you, monies wise,just a rather dismal month for establishing yourself as a credible writer and source of information on any format. 

 

But as you said, you didn't have the creative freedom back then, sure your making far more now off your digital and physical book sales than you ever did at your peak in RetroGamer Magazine.

 

 

Hopefully that'll help with the Goggle side of things and Kieren Hawken. 

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6 hours ago, ∞ Vince ∞ said:

I've just been reading some of Karen Hawking's best ' Journalism ' -

The A-Z of Commodore 64 Games Volume 1 and I agree with LandStalker, that it is a painful experience.

 

I'm only going to break down a very brief passage, from his review of ESWAT.

 

The self proclaimed (no one else is calling you it, Karen) 'Game Historian' fails to inform the reader that ESWAT's coin-op progenitor was called 'Cyber Police ESWAT' , despite mentioning the Cyber Suit upgrade that features prominently; in his 'review'. 

 

it's a side scrolling action styled shooting game apparently though most of us would just call it a Side-Scrolling Shoot 'Em Up or Shooter.

 

He then goes on to mention the Atari ST and Arcade versions of Robocop specifically. For no bloody reason.

 

As if the ST and Arcade versions are different to all over versions, which they are not.

Despite what his favourite reputable source (can you guess?) says...

 

I've played every single version of Robocop and they are exactly the same save for the obvious allowances for hardware differences.

 

Some have brief mini-games (64) but the side scrolling fighting/shooting sections are the crux of all of them!

 

Wikipedia's assertion of:

Despite being an arcade game, numerous versions appeared for home computers and video game consoles.

 

? Sounds like something Karen would say. Despite! fuck right off. Most arcades got home versions because they were popular coin-ops.

 

In 1989, Ocean released a different Robocop game that only bore a loose resemblance to the arcade.#

 

#Bullshit. Mini games aside, they're all the same.

 

Ok getting back to my point; Now if said Robocop were in any way a rarity in being a side scrolling shooter (and none of the other conversions were) this might be a good reference to make; as it is, it makes no sense what-so-ever.

 

Side scrolling shooters are very much a big thing in retro gaming, am I wrong?

 

Are there any people reading this 'book' and thinking, I don't know, I've never played a game like that before ?

 

On top of which, every Shoot Em Up ever made is Action based.

State the fucking obvious why don't you?

 

In my 37 years of gaming, I am yet to play a laid back shooter. 


And finally, why use a few descriptive words which make sense when you can use lots of words you yourself (Karen) don't understand the meaning or use of and cluster them together into an untangle-able mess that the poor bastard who paid good money to read this shit will need to re-read about 30 times before they comprehend what the twat that let's face it, cut and pasted it together is trying to say ?

 

You can tell the reviews he has lifted from elsewhere because they make some sense and in doing so stick out like a sore thumb.

 

It's like wading through treacle for fucks sake.

 

Bomb Jack C64 Review.jpg

YUP,
He re-uses reviews and sometimes, like here, forgets to change the name of the computer he is talking about.
How professional.
You missed "Completely like a smart bomb" that's another Kierenism I found.

I have attempted to get his ZX Spectrum compendium of bollocks read from cover to cover, but the reviews are nightmarishly hard to read.
They are infantile in their construction with no flow or any real insight into the games themselves.
They are littered with filler that has no bearing on the game on numerous occasions and he never misses an opportunity to throw in the word Atari whenever possible.
I have just started the F section and that means I have read 50 reviews.
There is not one that is without grammatical errors, spelling mistakes or general rubbish.

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@remowilliams

 

I've got nothing against you pal, and I acknowledged your clocking Karen's bullshit way back in time and on this thread, but the reason we are all using variations of his name is because we are all aware how much it really fucks him off.

 

I will continue to do so as I like. This thread will soon be visible from 'cyber' space so I don't think you have any worries.

The old days of using terms you wanted over and again to try to populate the spider / crawler / google database and get higher rankings in search engines are long gone and will get you penalised for it.

When I was building websites (moons ago) I got a few I had built for people on page one of some of the top browsers by using the same terms over and over hidden by having the same colour background and text colour. That kind of thing is dead in the water.

 

If you want you could start new threads and link them to this one. Use your blog or social media accounts to link here. 

The backlinks would do far more than what you say.

 

If any of you have blogs, get blogging. If any of you have Facebook posts about this, throw a link or two to here in there. If you're on coding sites for other systems get links on there going. I am going to actively start to do that soon, not to pee people off, but as an aside to warn people about him. He has actively roamed the Sega-16 forum for example touting his Epyx credentials. How much of that is BS is anyone's guess, but putting him up front and centre is not a strategy that I would embrace.

 

The EPYX brand has a great deal of good will. The Impossible Missions and Chips Challenges of the world are still remembered fondly and the association of Kieren Hawken and EPYX is on par with McDonald's recent faux pas regarding their using the song 'Rhythm of the Night' in their ad campaigns, seemingly oblivious to the fact most of us 90s music lovers know that the original number one hit of 94 was by a lady by the name of Corona. You can't make it up.

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