Ranking every retail 7800 Game

[Silver Back]

I did an exercise recently where I played all the retail 7800 releases and ranked them worst to best, simply based on how much fun I had. I initially did it for another project, but that’s something that I doubt I’ll have time to invest in now. So I figured I could post a condensed version of my findings here and see what you all think. 
 

Again, the sole criteria is how much fun I had with each game, and I played each game a considerable amount of time to make sure I wasn’t working off of vague memories. So without further hesitation, here’s some guys opinion on the internet about a hobby he’s far too invested in:

 

58. Realsports Baseball - This game was a definite step down from the 5200 and by far the most boring to play. 
57. Touchdown Football - The best part of this game is the intro tune on the title card. 
56. Barnyard Blaster - Not enough variety in screens and targets to hold my attention. 
55. Hat Trick - This is more closely related to Pong than I’ve Hockey. And why’s it so choppy?

54. Ace of Aces - I like flying through storms and the intro panels, but it’s just too complicated for me. 
53. F-18 Hornet - I just really can’t get into these old flight sims. 
52. Tomcat the F-14 Simulator - I wanted to like this game, but where are all the enemy jets?

51. Title Match Pro Wrestling - I like that the wrestlers remind me of Abobo from Double Dragon. 
50. Mat Mania Challenge - I wish this had a few playable wrestlers and a few modes of play. 
49. Dark Chambers - This was one of the biggest disappointments in the 7800 library for me. 
48. Jinks - I love block breaking games, and you Jinks are no block breaking game.

47. Karateka - I want to beat this game just to say I did it. But the birds kick my butt.

46. Fight Night - I like the over the top characters, but everything else isn’t very good.

45. Meltdown - It held my attention for a while but I don’t think I’ll come back to it for a long time. 
44. Summer Games - I enjoyed some of the events, but there’s far too many that play similarly. 
43. Super Huey UH-IX - I found some enjoyment in this helicopter simulator, but not much. 
42. Crack’ed - I enjoyed this strange title more than I thought I would. But Rooster Ranch Sucks!

41. Tank Command - Ao this is the rarest, most expensive 7800 game?  Not worth the money.

40. Impossible Mission - This isn’t a great port to begin with, but the fact that it’s unbeatable is unforgivable!

39. Sentinel - I kind of like this one, but the repetition sets in after a while. 
38. Choplifter - I enjoyed this one a lot more several years ago, but now it’s just kind of meh.

37. Pete Rose Baseball - This is a fun Baseball game that only held back by its confusing in fielding. 
36. Kung-Fu Master - I loved other versions of this game, but this one seems poorly programmed to me. 
35. Super Skateboardin’ - I don’t think it’s awful, but it needed more levels.  Oh and it’s not a skateboarding game either. 
34.Pole Position 2 - I like this game, but there’s definitely better games on the 7800. 
33. Dig Dug - I’m not saying this is a bad port because it’s not, but I’m just not a huge Dig adult fan. 
32. Planet Smashers - I enjoy this game also, but it feels painfully average and generic. 
31. Motor Psycho - Jumping over large hills is awesome!

30. Winter Games - A far superior game to Summer Games. There’s a good variety of events here. 
29. Mario Bros - I’m not a huge Mario Bros fan, but this one can hold my attention for an evening every now and then. 
28. Rampage - This was a favorite as a kid, but it gets repetitive real fast. 
27. mean 18 Ultimate Golf - This is a solid, if not basic golf game.  I was surprised how well it holds up for me. 
26. Fatal Run - This is good mindless fun for me, and the charm of the presentation took it far. 
25. Centipede - This is a fun and fast paced arcade conversion that I like playing a every now and then. 
24.Donkey Kong - I used to rank this a little higher until Donkey Kong PK showed me the way. 
23. Desert Falcon - I never cared for Zaxxon much but this is just a fun and charming improvement on it. 
22. Ballblazer - This game sounds, looks and plays fantastic. Probably the ultimate 2 player game for the 7800. 
21. Xenophobe - This game is the definition of mindless fun for me. 
20. Water Ski - I’ve heard that a lot of people dislike this game, but it’s a fantastic challenging game in my eyes. 
19. Joust - This game has really grown on me over the years. A great arcade port. 
18. Xevious - Contending with both air and ground targets keep this one fresh. 
17. Scrapyard Dog - This is another game that I’ve come to enjoy more and more the more time I spend with it. 
16. Donkey Kong Junior - An excellent arcade port with crappy sound. Mute the tv!

15. Crossbow - This is a great idea for a light gun game, but why am I protecting able bodied adventurers?

14. One on One Basketball - This game has fantastic controls and a lot of charm built in. 
13. Robotron 2084 - This is a fantastic twin stick shooter for the 7800. 
12. Double Dragon - I’m not going to argue that it’s a good game, but I always have fun with it. 
11. Commando - Another fantastic run n gun game   
10. Basketbrawl - It’s so much fun to knock out your opponents and sink uncontested lay ups. 
9. Galaga - It may not be arcade perfect but I do love this port. 
8. Ms Pac Man - A personal favorite of my daughters and one I enjoy playing with them. 
7. Alien Brigade - One of the best light gun games for any 8 but home console period. 
6. Ninja Golf - As fun as it is wacky. Who would’ve thought a game about a ninja playing golf could be so good. 
5. Tower Toppler - This is the perfect mix of puzzle and play former to me. 
4. Ikari Warriors - My all time favorite run n gun for the 7800. 
3. Asteroids - It may not have the most impressive presentation but I find it very addictive. 
2. Food Fight - Everybody that owns a 7800 should have Food Fight. 
1. Midnight Mutants - I’ve beaten this game about a half dozen times and I’ll beat it a half dozen more. 
 

And that’s it. I wrote and rewrote this ranking about 4 times and this is how I would definitively rank the library. 
 

What do you think?  Do I need to give certain games another shot?  Was I way off on some of my rankings?  Let me know what you all think. 
 

Thanks for letting me think too deeply about a hobby I’m overly invested in everybody. Lol

[gambler172]

Hi Silver Back

well....the reason, i bought a 7800 was 7800 Asteroids.....I like most 7800 games.....but i hate Tower Toppler, cause much too heavy. I also do not like the Football games and the Wrestling games.....

greetings Walter

[Silver Back]

9 minutes ago, gambler172 said:

Hi Silver Back

well....the reason, i bought a 7800 was 7800 Asteroids.....I like most 7800 games.....but i hate Tower Toppler, cause much too heavy. I also do not like the Football games and the Wrestling games.....

greetings Walter

Hi gambler glad you responded, happy new year.  Heavy is the perfect description for Tower Toppler.  I like that. I would like to say that it’s not a perfect game, but each time I played it I would get a little bit further.  I was really enjoying my time with it. But the character does feel much too heavy when trying to jump over simple obstacles, and it can become frustrating.  Still, it’s become one of my personal favorites. 
 

I’ve played a ton of 7800 asteroids and I love the 3D look to the actual asteroids. And it plays very well. The sports games in general are pretty disappointing to me.

 

Thanks for the comments, cheers. 

[+jeremiahjt]

I do not see the 32-in-1 cartridge on the list.   Your placement of games makes a lot of sense, but there are a few games I have just not played outside of testing.  Namely all the flight simulation games.  Did you win at least one game on the sports titles?  I got a fair amount of enjoyment out of both RealSports Baseball and Touchdown Football, but I refused to quit until I could win games.

 

Your number one game would not be very high on my list, but I have never beat it.  I tried to play it once, and I got a fair ways into it, but I quit before I could beat it.  I think if I gave it enough time to finish it I would like it a lot more.

 

The light gun games would all be higher on my list too, but I do love light gun games.

[roadrunner]

I would put Commando and DK Jr higher on the list.

 

[Silver Back]

The thing Is really enjoy a lot of these games and ranking them wasn’t as easy as I first thought. I love light gun games too, I love commando and donkey Kong junior as well. But I literally had to just say if I had the choice between these two games which would I choose?  And then the loser would fall down a spot and I would ask the same question. And I decided to be honest with myself rather than what I knew would be expected. If I had to rank them by how good they are on a technical level, this would be a very different list. 
 

1 hour ago, jeremiahjt said:

 

I do not see the 32-in-1 cartridge on the list.   Your placement of games makes a lot of sense, but there are a few games I have just not played outside of testing.  Namely all the flight simulation games.  Did you win at least one game on the sports titles?  I got a fair amount of enjoyment out of both RealSports Baseball and Touchdown Football, but I refused to quit until I could win games.

 

 

I guess technically it’s not complete without 32 in 1, but as those were 2600 games (and I don’t own the cart to try it either) I decided to leave it off. But thanks for noticing

 

I actually put several hours into each game, some more than others, but I did give each game a fair shake.  I did win many games with Hat Trick and Touchdown Football, but I wasn’t having much fun. 2 player wasn’t taken into consideration but that might liven things up in my opinion. 
 

but in all honesty I could not win a game in Realsports baseball. For whatever reason I can not get good at it and by the end I was just hated playing it.  I’d be willing to try again and update you later if my opinion changes, but for now I stand by my rankings. 
 

Thanks for all the input and I’m willing to give any game another shot if you all think it’s better than I gave it credit for. I’m always looking to play more 7800   

[+GoldLeader]

I would put Jinks higher!

 

(Ducks!)

[Silver Back]

3 minutes ago, GoldLeader said:

I would put Jinks higher!

 

(Ducks!)

There’s padded rooms for people like you. 
 

welcome!

You can’t catch me!

Ya-oww 

 

 

[Silver Back]

Honestly when I came back to the 7800 the first time I was really into Jinks, Choplifter, Crossbow and the games from my childhood. I played a ton of  Jinks back then, maybe around 2009 I think, and was trying really hard to tell myself it was a good game.  All because I wanted there to be like an Arkanoid or block breaking adventure game made for the 7800 that was good. 
 

I should’ve came to Atariage then. I don’t know if Crazy Brix was out yet or not but I would’ve lost it over that game.  

[+GoldLeader]

I really do like Jinks, but don't quite think of it like that kind of game,  if that makes sense.

[BydoEmpire]

Obviously there are games i would move higher or lower since it's a personal list, but overall your list seems pretty fair. The thing that jumps out is how many retail games I still haven't played yet.  Ever season of the HSC there are games I get to try for the first time. That's part of the fun (like Rampage this round).

 

I'm kind of curious about Jinks, never having played it. Maybe that needs to be in an upcoming HSC round so i have an excuse to play it!

 

[+GoldLeader]

Nope!

 

Nobody likes it but me!

 

 

 

Joke!

[+GoldLeader]

There are a ton I haven't played either TBH,  but I don't really like sports games...And flight simulators require reading so...

 

 

Ones I own (not mentioning the Dragonfly here cuz then I own them all hahah)...Own but haven't played,  include Tower Toppler and Dark Chambers (which I loved on 2600), well and lots of others haha...Also,  Really want to buy Wizard's Dungeon,...Once I can afford it (I'm low on dough, unfortunately)...

[Silver Back]

That reminds me I need to try Dark Chambers on the 2600…

[fiddlepaddle]

I really enjoyed reading your mini-reviews. Thanks for sharing!

[Silver Back]

28 minutes ago, fiddlepaddle said:

I really enjoyed reading your mini-reviews. Thanks for sharing!

Well thank you. I had written several paragraphs for some games and gave them a grade, then I condensed it to a paragraph about each, and finally I just did a sentence or two.  
 

I was working on writing things up for YouTube videos and now that my job is getting busy again I thought it would be nice just to get some of it out there in word form and at least see if people were interested in reading or responding to it. 
 

thanks again. 

[+cvga]

23 hours ago, Silver Back said:

Well thank you. I had written several paragraphs for some games and gave them a grade, then I condensed it to a paragraph about each, and finally I just did a sentence or two.  
 

Great job! I like the way you condensed it, especially when there are 58 games. It was short but insightful.

 

23 hours ago, Silver Back said:

I was working on writing things up for YouTube videos and now that my job is getting busy again I thought it would be nice just to get some of it out there in word form and at least see if people were interested in reading or responding to it. 

I would much rather read the list with your descriptions than watch a YouTube video! I'm not a fan of many videos other than maybe No Swear Gamer who keeps them short and has a consistent format.

[Jaden (JRH)]

Remind me to come back to this thread in like eight years once I've reviewed all the 7800 games.

[Silver Back]

Maybe my original idea of making a 7800 fan site would be better for both my schedule and the people interested. Essentially I’ll just make a blog to post my reviews and rankings and get feedback there rather than spending the time I don’t have on videos. 
 

thanks for the feedback

[Giles N]

Perhaps I should update my own top-list… but, either one goes with original releases only or all-ever-made -, how to go about personal taste of say, genres, vs quality of the game - may be a bit tricky.

 

Personally I think F 18 Hornet is one of the most interesting and impressive games for the 7800, given that its 8-bit, - not 16, not 32, - only 8; and its pretty darned rewarding feeling when you nail something so advanced…!

Edited January 7, 2022 by Giles N

[Silver Back]

Just now, Giles N said:

Perhaps I should update my own top-list… but, either one goes with original releases only or all-ever-made -, how to go about personal taste of say, genres, vs quality of the game - may be a bit tricky.

 

Personally I think F 18 Hornet is one of the most interesting and impressive games for the 7800, given that its 8-bit, - 16, not 32, - only 8; and its pretty darned rewarding feeling when you nail something so advanced…!

I went back and played the flight sims specifically and while I stand by some of my original thoughts and I do appreciate them more. I seemed to get the hang of Tomcat more but idk if my copy is bugged or I’m doing something wrong as an enemy inevitably gets stuck just out of view no matter what maneuvers I do. 
 

I got deeper into Hornet and I do enjoy myself in that one. It seems like the most playable outside of super Huey. 
 

But I stand by my opinion of ace of aces. Too many screens and button combos make that game difficult to learn and sucks the fun out of it for me. 
 

I agree that balancing a persons taste in genre and the games technical prowess is difficult. That’s why I just went with how much fun I personally had. 

[Giles N]

41 minutes ago, Silver Back said:

I got deeper into Hornet and I do enjoy myself in that one. It seems like the most playable outside of super Huey

And here’s the difficulty: F 18 being playable means it must, or at least should be given the chance of -being discerned as what its sold as: an actual F 18 Flight-Simulator for whatever that (simulating a part of reality), would be for a ‘mere’ 8-bit system.

 

It’s of course then a really, really steep learning-curve to get to grasps with it, but thats the point with simulators; they’re there to try to simulate something, and manouvering an F 18 isn’t probably for amateurs etc, - so just the challenge of getting to manouver properly is part of the game-challenge…

 

I think the 8-bit 3D is awesome, and its a very nice piece of 7800 Air-Combat ‘simulation’… not perfect (where is the cannon…?, why do every rocket shot go forward and down like a threwn rock…?). just very good…

 

Very good means to me ot should be in region of 4/5 or between 7,5 - 9,0…

Edited January 7, 2022 by Giles N

[+GoldLeader]

I was thinking (uh-oh), and...

 

Well, back to Jinks really quickly, if you don't mind.  I think I know what it reminds me of and it's a childhood memory that likely won't click with a lot of people.  OK Imagine a game from childhood where you bounce a ping pong ball on a paddle and maneuver it through obstacles.  With me so far?  I had a ping pong table as a kid, but I also had another bizarre game that is even closer.  I'll be damned if I can remember what it was called so I'll try to describe it.   It came with these air guns, (kind of like weird controllers) and a styrofoam ball, about the same size as a ping pong ball.  The "guns" were kind of like handheld, battery operated hair dryers, but not hot and pointing straight up with a catcher for the ball on the end.  Pushing the trigger (or button, who remembers?) caused the ball to float on a stream of air about 6 inches above the gun, then it had an obstacle course of hoops and things you had to maneuver the ball through without letting it fall to the ground.  That's what I think Jinks was kind of going for...Or, in an attempt to let people understand it,  The same type of game but with a ping pong paddle, except people still don't get it...Guess ya could say I have a strange nostalgia for it that other people won't.  And it has a very unique art style,...The whole game is very stylized, like having color palettes that vary by level, like old Atari (2600) games...I get the impression that at a certain point the designer decided not to even try to explain it anymore, so added the surreal title screen, and talking space bird that doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything...I saw it as the kind of game (a unique original title, with its own style) the 7800 really needed more of BITD.  Of course,  Now we have homebrews taking on the task of delivering awesome original content on 7800...but we didn't always...

[+GoldLeader]

OMG!  I found it!

 

 

JINKS reminds me of this!

 

[BydoEmpire]

That looks really cool @GoldLeader - there were so many wacky and creative games when we were a kid!