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That's how you know it's a Coleco. (It breaks. Constantly.)


Jess Ragan

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So, I was thinking I'd put together a joystick for my ColecoVision so I can play its library of games with a worthwhile controller. The stick was a success! The ColecoVision, not so much. I tested the stick with my homemade controller tester before I put on the ball, discwasher, and back plate, and everything seemed hunky dory. However, buttoning up the controller and testing it again had, let's say, disappointing results. (Urge to kill... rising...)

 

The damn thing crashed on me almost immediately after plugging in the fully assembled stick, and from that point on, the system acted strangely. Sometimes I'd get a blank screen with a droning tone, sometimes I'd get an "insert cartridge" warning even with a cartridge stuck in it, sometimes I'd get a garbled screen with a random sound effect, and sometimes, if the ColecoVision was feeling really generous, the game would start, only to reset after a couple minutes... often with garbled graphics. The PiColeco almost never worked, Donkey Kong Arcade was only slightly more accommodating, and Frogger would try to play, only to surrender to heavy glitching.

 

Is there a way to actually play this thing comfortably without something going terribly wrong at any given moment? Look, I get it, the ColecoVision is very old. It's also very shittily designed, in a way other consoles from that time period weren't. I've got an Atari 5200 and a Vectrex back in Michigan, and they both ran like champs the last time I used them. There's always something happening to the ColecoVisions I've owned, whether it's faulty controller ports (this happened with two systems) or garbled graphics or other unwelcome surprises. Making it actually work is more of a challenge than any of the games.

 

What's wrong with the damn thing now? Is it the controller IC chips? Is it a dirty power switch? Could my joystick have fried it? (Okay, that would be on me, but a damn joystick shouldn't be capable of killing your game system.) Is it the VRAM, or the DRAM, or the D-bags who made it? It's always SOMETHING, and it's getting harder and harder to find the motivation to play my ColecoVision when it commits seppuku every time I try to use it. Good lord, and I thought the Neo-Geo was a money pit. At least the stupid thing WORKED.

 

I'm just about ready to throw in the towel and get a Phoenix, or that sparkly person's mini ColecoVision. I've heard a lot of blather over the years about the real console being the only way to play ColecoVision games, but it's getting more and more obvious that the only way to play ColecoVision games is on anything BUT the ColecoVision. Even the ColecoVision Flashback is starting to look good at this point.

coleco stick.png

more coleco aggravation.png

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We used to have a playable ColecoVision as part of our video game exhibitions, but the damn thing would crash very often, so our members would have to reboot it constantly. So when we created a very big exhibition in Paris a dozen years ago, even though we had staff to monitor everything, we decided to replace it by a PC with an emulator, connected to a real CV controller though. Bear in mind that it was the only system we emulated out of maybe 80...

 

But the emulator would also regularly crash, the exact same way. 🙂

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3 hours ago, 5-11under said:

Well, at least you made me laugh! :) ... at the picture, not your circumstance... .

Hopefully I'LL have the last laugh. (Although it might be insane cackling after loading the stupid thing into a chipper-shredder.)

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9 hours ago, Jess Ragan said:

So, I was thinking I'd put together a joystick for my ColecoVision so I can play its library of games with a worthwhile controller. The stick was a success! The ColecoVision, not so much. I tested the stick with my homemade controller tester before I put on the ball, discwasher, and back plate, and everything seemed hunky dory. However, buttoning up the controller and testing it again had, let's say, disappointing results. (Urge to kill... rising...)

 

The damn thing crashed on me almost immediately after plugging in the fully assembled stick, and from that point on, the system acted strangely. Sometimes I'd get a blank screen with a droning tone, sometimes I'd get an "insert cartridge" warning even with a cartridge stuck in it, sometimes I'd get a garbled screen with a random sound effect, and sometimes, if the ColecoVision was feeling really generous, the game would start, only to reset after a couple minutes... often with garbled graphics. The PiColeco almost never worked, Donkey Kong Arcade was only slightly more accommodating, and Frogger would try to play, only to surrender to heavy glitching.

 

Is there a way to actually play this thing comfortably without something going terribly wrong at any given moment? Look, I get it, the ColecoVision is very old. It's also very shittily designed, in a way other consoles from that time period weren't. I've got an Atari 5200 and a Vectrex back in Michigan, and they both ran like champs the last time I used them. There's always something happening to the ColecoVisions I've owned, whether it's faulty controller ports (this happened with two systems) or garbled graphics or other unwelcome surprises. Making it actually work is more of a challenge than any of the games.

 

What's wrong with the damn thing now? Is it the controller IC chips? Is it a dirty power switch? Could my joystick have fried it? (Okay, that would be on me, but a damn joystick shouldn't be capable of killing your game system.) Is it the VRAM, or the DRAM, or the D-bags who made it? It's always SOMETHING, and it's getting harder and harder to find the motivation to play my ColecoVision when it commits seppuku every time I try to use it. Good lord, and I thought the Neo-Geo was a money pit. At least the stupid thing WORKED.

 

I'm just about ready to throw in the towel and get a Phoenix, or that sparkly person's mini ColecoVision. I've heard a lot of blather over the years about the real console being the only way to play ColecoVision games, but it's getting more and more obvious that the only way to play ColecoVision games is on anything BUT the ColecoVision. Even the ColecoVision Flashback is starting to look good at this point.

 

more coleco aggravation.png

 

LOL'ed at your screenshot.

 

  

17 minutes ago, Jess Ragan said:

Hopefully I'LL have the last laugh. (Although it might be insane cackling after loading the stupid thing into a chipper-shredder.)

Use a Harbor Freight shredder.  You don't want to ruin a nice one by sending a boat anchor like the Colecovision through it!

 

 

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It was the damn switch. I pulled apart the old one and have fresher, snappier-feeling ones coming in the mail. Some people balk about replacing the ColecoVision on/off switch with something that's not stock. I do not share these reservations. The ColecoVision on/off switch SUUUUUUUCKS, looking cheap and feeling kind of crummy besides. Give me an honest boat rocker switch, especially one that lights up when you flip it on. The ColecoVision doesn't give you a clue that it's turned on aside from showing a picture! Give me LED indicators or give me death!

 

Er, anyway. For the moment I replaced the switch with fresh solder and a wire patch job. Really chintzy, really temporary, but effective all the same. If I had a switch handy I'd pop it in, but it turns out most devices use membrane buttons or some such lameness instead. You want a double pole, single throw switch like in the good old days, you'll have to raid your home appliances for them.

 

(Stares at the coffee machine)

 

Oh wow, Sophie's choice. Uh, uh... I need coffee, so we'll just wait for the switch to ship. Maybe. Control, Jess, CONTROL!

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Switches on Colecovisions and Atari heavy sixers are troublesome. I have refurbished those switches with great success however. If you desolder it and carefully take it apart you can sand the connections slightly with a fine grit sandpaper, clean it up and put it back together and it will be as good as new. Some folks say spraying it with deoxit will do the trick, but actually going the route of dismantling it and sanding has worked for me with many a CV and Atari VCS where the power switch was flakey.

 

Or, you can outright replace it with a modern flip switch, but I say give refurbing it a try since it sounds like you are about to toss it anyway.

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I just bought an uber mint CV. Looks like it was never used. I sent to to Ruggers to add a switch and led power indicator along with a tms RGB board. 

 

I remember how finicky those always were and even though it's new, I still don't want to rely on it. 

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colecovisionmod.thumb.png.caae8236078c873d1109ef74b67fa610.png

I finally got the replacement switch in the mail, and I'm happy with it. I had to widen the gap for the switch with power tools, and went a little overboard with the grinding tool, forcing me to fill in the gaps with hot glue and melted plastic. (Well, hot glue is technically also melted plastic, but I also added some black plastic from an old CD case to better match the case.)

 

But yeah, the system works great now! I was worried I'd have to swap out the VRAM chips, but so far, that hasn't been necessary. Now I just have to figure out how best to patch over-drilled plastic. If it happened before, it'll happen again...

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