MegomanJess Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 Things I learned from Atari •There is no problem that cannot be overcome by force. •If it moves, DESTROY IT! •Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training. •One lone “good guy” can defeat an infinite number of “bad guys”. •Make sure you eat all food lying on the ground. •You can break things and get away with it. •You can push other vehicles off the road and get away with it. •If someone dies, they disappear. •If you get mad enough, you can fight even better. •You can operate all weapons without training. •No matter how long you fight, you can always fight again. •Death is reversible (only for you!) •Ninjas are common and frequently fight in public. •Whenever big fat mean guys are about to croak, they begin flashing red or yellow. •You never run out of ammunition, just grenades. •All women wear revealing clothing and have great bodies. •Shoot everything. If it blows up or dies, it was bad. •Don’t worry if your vehicles crashes and explodes. A new vehicle will appear in its place. •A thousand-to-one odds against you is NOT a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Student Driver Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 Things I learned from Atari•All women wear revealing clothing and have great bodies. quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SS Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 Things I learned from Atari•All women wear revealing clothing and have great bodies. It's so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sku_u Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 Things I learned from Atari•All women wear revealing clothing and have great bodies. It's so true. Maybe he's talking about Infogrames. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeybastard Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 That list is from the T-shirt they sell in Hot Topic right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kemsted Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 That list is from the T-shirt they sell in Hot Topic right? Yea it is and its from video games in general I think, not just Atari. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetset Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 I never noticed before, Is that piss they're catching? Wait...don't answer that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Student Driver Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 Umm... I guess they're "shapely" if you think of Legos as being shaply as well. Anyway- this reminds me of an old thread in recgames.video.classic... apologies to the original creators, who are noted in that link. That was based on an even older thread in RGVC, also fun to read: here. Classic Game Physics... Frogs can't swim If you get to the edge of known space, you wrap around to the other side (Einstein actually had a therory that was kinda like that) One cannot dodge obstacles by getting beside them Lasers can't hurt freindlies, unless you are shooting in a maze. Fruit and other food is always helpful, be it as bonus points or as a weapon. There are no nice robots All Gorillas must be at the top of something (Hundreds more in those above links.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seob Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 This is high science. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Random Terrain Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 That list is from the T-shirt they sell in Hot Topic right? No way! He made that up himself. If he didn't write it, he would have said where he got it from! Oops, maybe not: http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?...S=0&ITEM=222368 http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?...S=0&ITEM=283550 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegomanJess Posted September 13, 2004 Author Share Posted September 13, 2004 Never said I wrote this. Just thought I'd share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolt Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 As Fulop notes during the credits of Once Upon Atari, our generation was taught "You can never win." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poker_plus Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 You have to kill the boss to get to the next level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stingray Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Never let a bat see your keys. -S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenwood Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Never let a bat see your keys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voch Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 The paddle that the game needs you to use is always the jittery one (but I guess it's the most used paddle for a reason) (unless you're playing Blackjack...then you can select to use the other paddle). Never, never, never move away from the center when surrounded by asteroids (well, if you play "fast" Asteroids you may have to move once-in-a-while). Don't touch blue, glowing walls and run from bouncing happy faces. Never trust arrows...they usually point to bombs (am I the only one who plays Flag Capture?) Don't taunt the Fygar horizontally through a thin wall of dirt. Voch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7800Lover Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 I got one. Don't bank on a big name property to make you lots of money. *coughcoughETcough* *couhgcoughPacmancough* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Tyler Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 If your vehicle touches another object even just so slightly, it will explode. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bond007pr Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Things I learned from Atari•All women wear revealing clothing and have great bodies. quote] maybe he's referring to the Panesian games Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philflound Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Blisters can form from a joystick. I never knew my hand could cramp so much (don't go there) Your best friend is your enemy when he's player two. It's easier for player 1 than player 2 in Space Invaders. Animals such as a frog and chicken don't do well in traffic. When you're done with one wave and feel relieved, another hits you. Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moycon Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Don't count your phoenix before their hatched. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RHUDSON7650 Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 "Life is a futile search for perfection that can NEVER BE achieved!" Adam Sessler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candiru Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 An alligator is perfectly content to let you jump on him if you stay away from his jaws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtariDude Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 What I learned from Atari is that bad management can ruin even the best of companies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireTiger Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Shooting your own men/ships is worth points, but you lose the man/ship too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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