Lucidity, I'm Home

Entry posted by Flack February 25, 2007

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Every now and then I have brief moments of clarity. Not to sound like a mental case, but it's like I step outside of my body for a moment and get this really clear picture of my life from an outsider's point of view. It feels really strange whenever it happens. During these moments I usually come to some sort of revelation ... and, usually, a day or two later I've forgotten all about the experience, and I go back to the way things were.

Last night, while sitting in my recliner with the telvision blaring and the laptop open, it happened. I was overcome with the realization that I'm wasting far too much time online. There are so many things in real life I put off doing due to imaginary commitments in the online world. I spend ten to twenty hours a week alone modding a couple of different forums. Looking back at my 2007 resolutions, I can see that some of them are being neglected due to my excessive time spent on the Internet. Surfing the web and frequently refhreshing news sites and forums has almost reached the point of addiction. (Compulsion? Whatever.) It's like, I cannot be online any more than I possibly am right now. I never get away from being online. I am starting to have trouble finishing projects (like writing) on the computer as I get easily sidetracked by the web.

Right now I am feeling a strong desire to take an "offline" vacation. Will it last? No, it never does. There's an old argument that it's easier to quit being an alcoholic than it is to lose weight; the logic being that alcoholics can avoid contact with alcohol, while the obese are still required to eat three times a day. I spend a lot more time each day behind a keyboard than I do eating. Computers are my job, my hobby, and sad to say, my life.

One of the resolutions I set for myself this year was to have a book done by April 1st. At this point I don't see how that can happen. Every time I sit down to write I hit the Internet to check a fact or two, and an hour later I'm tracking down the latest Brittney Spears or Anna-Nicole Smith news and completely done with whatever it was I was writing.

I guess when it comes to online ventures, it's hard to know when to stop. I'm always signing up for one more forum, or downloading one more movie, or grabbing one more album ... and at the end of the day I have all these messages, movies and albums that I never get around to fully enjoying. I spend so much time downloading stuff that I never get a chance to experience most of it.

Eh, gimmie three days. I'll be back online in full force by then.