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atari2600land's Blog - I can't play Resident Evil 2


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So I got out my game.com. I put in Resident Evil 2, expecting to be able to walk one step. Boy was I wrong. I tried to go right by pressing right. I twirled around like a ballerina, and then the zombie or whatever right next to me started eating me. I tried equipping myself with a gun. I tried pressing every button. Why do they start you off too close to a zombie? I can't escape. I tried button presses but I couldn't fire any gun of any kind. Boy, if I was a playtester of this game, I have one word for them: "Unplayable." Or, in a haiku:

A piece of garbage.
Resident Evil 2 is
so unplayable.

Reminds me of a stupid CenturyLink commercial what I just did there. It makes me wonder how I managed to clear an act of Sonic Jam for the game.com, the game I tried before. And then I tried the level in Sonic & Knuckles. I kept dying game overs. It was at about the second one that I gave up. I cleaned the screen since it had little specks of dirt on it. Clean screen. Too bad I still couldn't see much on it. The game.com is great for one screen games, like Centipede or Frogger, but Sonic Jam on it? Can someone please tell me how anyone thought that was a good idea? I slept all day long. I went to sleep at 1am, and got up at 8:30pm. I only woke up a few times to go to the bathroom. 19 1/2 hours is my new personal best of sleeping length (best?). But god I'm so tired of not being able to go on a computer in my room. I guess I could move the one in the den in there, but I don't want to because I'm afraid it will die on me if I try to move it. I got an e-mail from Geek Squad saying they're finally fixing my computer because it got to the stupid place they had to ship it off to. I'd ask someone to tell me how to play Resident Evil 2 on the game.com, but if I can't figure it out right off the bat then it's not worth it.

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