Burn out.

[Retrospect]

Well just about everyone who saw my posts on Avaris and the way that went , will know I've just about hit "Burn Out" point again.  

 

We all get to that stage if we do something over and over, or get stress or don't feel appreciated for what we do (this latter is not the case for me)

 

I'll make no shame in being public about why I do what I do with my spare time hobby.  It relieves the massive anxiety I get due to mental health issues.  When I code for the TI I feel happy, it  takes my mind away from certain things that haunt it.  The thoughts that enter the mind that are unwelcome and frequent, are less of a factor whilst programming.  

 

However ... once the game is done and playtested , and released on here or wherever, and I find it has various bugs, whatever, then the anxiety hits a level previously unknown.  So it's time to hit the brakes .. to go easy ... don't be mistaken into thinking I won't produce software anymore though , that's not gonna happen 'cos I will ... just with a different approach.

 

If I release something and it has bugs or a part of it doesn't work, I'll give YOU the source code because it's shareware and it's free, and you can correct it and whilst you're at it , add your own personal touches. All I ask is keep my name on the title screen.  That might fix some of my stresses.  The stress kicks in when 20 people download the bugged version and 4 people download the correct version. But that's my fault not yours. 

 

Speaking of appreciation ... I often mention how the game came to be, that I wrote it in XB256 and used senior falcon's compiler.  But the one thing I most often forget to mention , is the fact that I programmed it using Classic99.  That emulator has been used for EVERY game I've created barring a few games that were done for Cassette only, in that case I use JS99er as it outputs tapes.  

 

So , to the author of said Classic99, I do apologize for never mentioning that the games were born through that emulator.  Not that he wants an apology, 'cos he doesn't.  But it's there anyway.

So I'll be plodding along ... viewing the forum ... doing relaxing programming with no worries about release dates or getting myself stressed 'cos it don't work .... You will see stuff occasionally on here from me.  There's one in the pipeline already but it's gonna be a slow burn from now on.  Avaris II came out with more bugs than a tramp's mattress and it didn't even have my own graphics in there, they were from Gradius.  I literally sat and waited six months to see if Rasmus would spit Gradius out but it never happened so I thought sod it I'll use the sprites, they're 16x16 they fit.  And I can't do better (yet).  I didn't HAVE three years to wait until I can do better.  So if you play it and you enjoy it good, if you wanna take issue with my graphics, inbox me.  But I don't have the mental energy for a fight about it.

 

Ta-ra for now ... I'll be lurking.  
Joe.

 

[+OLD CS1]

Just pace yerself, man.  Maybe push out the release until you have had more chance to play-test and check all the edge cases.  Try to break it on purpose.  Bugs happen.  I have always considered bugs part of the challenge, since I have only twice ever produced anything without a bug, both critical applications.  What you are doing seems easy, but we know it is pretty complex with a lot of moving parts to look after.  As Scotty says,

 

 

Take a step back and come back refreshed.

 

[Nick99]

I follow your game development threads with great interest, I get some answers to my own programming questions.

I'm amazed of your programming speed AND the games, a lot of action and fun!

 

Thanks @Retrospect!

[Retrospect]

1 hour ago, OLD CS1 said:

Maybe push out the release until you have had more chance to play-test and check all the edge cases

Well with Avaris II it's been fully checked now and it's satisfactory. The thing that pissed me off was the bugs not being apparent to begin with when I did playtest.  Deliberately crashing into the ground was only done during the 1st wave, so when the bug happened and it sent me to the 1st wave I thought nothing of it , until I accidentally bit the dirt on the 5th wave whilst running away from a weaponized saucer and it sent me back to the 1st wave Alabites.  

 

So I re-released the game with that bug fixed.

 

Then I noticed enemy missiles were freely roaming around , even when redundant, during waves.  If  a *new* wave came in , different enemies, it was checked.  But not if the same wave was happening, say the 2nd or 3rd Alabite.  So I put in checks for the enemy missiles during the enemy explosion sequence and that had the nice effect of slightly slowing down the explosion animation of the enemies AND checking for missiles leaving the screen in any of 4 directions.  So I then sheepishly released THAT bugfixed version.

Mehhhh......

[Retrospect]

2 minutes ago, Nick99 said:

I follow your game development threads with great interest, I get some answers to my own programming questions.

I'm amazed of your programming speed AND the games, a lot of action and fun!

 

Thanks @Retrospect!

Thankyou Nick. , much appreciated.

Certain types of games I can get going quite quickly.  I'm generally best at doing blast-em-ups.  I've not really tried much else, oh there was that frogger clone I did with the funny music I got from "Family Guy" when Stewie follows the fat-guy around with his trumpet.  

[Nick99]

Are the frogger cone to be found here on AA? 

[Retrospect]

50 minutes ago, Nick99 said:

Are the frogger cone to be found here on AA? 

https://tigameshelf.net/xb.htm

 

Scroll down that webpage from Walid's site you'll see it, it's called Dodger

[TheMole]

For what it's worth, I very much enjoy reading about your development process. So, even if it might take an iteration or two more to get it to the point where you are happy with the quality, don't underestimate the enjoyment some of us are getting from just following the development progress you make.

 

Anyway, I know all about burn-out and how it's not necessarily something that can be fixed by just talking about it, but never forget that (especially for such a niche, entirely superfluous hobby like ours) the journey is always bound to be the most rewarding part anyway...

Edited February 27, 2023 by TheMole

[Retrospect]

1 minute ago, TheMole said:

For what it's worth, I very much enjoy reading about your development process. So, even if it might take an iteration or two more to get it to the point where you are happy with the quality, don't underestimate the enjoyment some of us are getting from just following your process.

 

Anyway, I know all about burn-out and how it's not necessarily something that can be fixed by just talking about it, but never forget that (especially for such a niche, entirely superfluous hobby like ours) the journey is always bound to be the most rewarding part anyway...

Thanks @TheMole.

 

[oddemann]

You are WAY to hard on yourself!

Even WITH bugs, GREAT games! I am so impressed with what you make. I know I am fare away from doing what you do. I understand all the code... But to put it together, that is something else! I love to see your new versions of the games. BUT... You do not need to push them out so fast. Think about it in this way... If you use more time in between, you give me (guess everyone else too) joy over a LONGER period So, give yourself time. Lol, also to love the TI is to be patient! Things takes time, with a TI!

But also (retro)respect yourself and take the break you need! You have for SURE earned that!

I am looking forward to your next game! But take your time, until you get back and make more games and spread the lover, over more time. At the same time I understand the drive to finish stuff.

 

PS! last week I learned something I knew, but in a new perspective... Always make sure that you stop doing what you love, at the top of your "drive". Not when it is going down and your fed up. In that way you look forward to get back to it, when you stop on a up going curve. It keeps feeding forward.

I appreciate your games, your and the effort you put out to make games! AGAIN... GREAT games... and love to see your process, of making games!

[Retrospect]

Thankyou @oddemann, kind and inspirational words.  It's great knowing that you and others appreciate what I do.  But in truth I'd just press on and do it anyway, even if only for myself, haha!
Seriously though , yeah , I need to slow down a little and not put pressure on myself.  The pressure only really exists if I put a deadline on myself for release OR the bugs appear *After* release. 

 

I'm having a nice little break, watching what other people are doing, reading stuff on here.  There will be more games as soon as I've had a rest.  I have to keep coding for my own sanity if nothing else but learn to stop when even that causes stress and fatigue.  

 

 

[Retrospect]

AVARISII-8.BIN << Rom image for Eproms ????

 

Oh I've reminded myself ... I've created another rom image for Avaris II , this one is for burning to eproms and playing on emulators, have i got that right can you put the 8 format onto eprom?

Anyhow it's there for anyone who wants it, share it on websites etc etc and play the hell out of it.  It's hard as hell, but it's not a bad game really.

 

These cartridge images have been created using the MakeCartG and MakeCart8 programs that are included with Senior Falcon's distributions that come with Classic99   

Quick instructions for use if anyone doesn't know ... Put your XB compiled game into the desired DSK folder ... let's say DSK1 ... Get into XB2.9 GEM and load the compiled game into that with
OLD DSK1. whatevernameyouchose ... then type CALL LOAD(-31868,0,0,0,0) press enter .. then if you wanna make an 8 format type RUN DSK1.MAKECART8 and press enter.

Follow all on screen instructions and finally name the cartridge image file itself.  If you've used MAKECARTG don't exceed 8 characters in the name.  But you gotta put either an 8 or a G in the filename, depending on which MAKECART you loaded to use.

That's all for now.  Ta-ra !

 

[fabrice montupet]

Joe,

Take the time to breathe, to live for yourself and when you'll find enough energy, motivation and the desire, you'll pleasure us with another of your new games. Nothing hurry, your fun is the essential .

[Retrospect]

Thanks @fabrice montupet     How are you doing, I hope you are well.

[Tursi]

21 hours ago, Retrospect said:

So , to the author of said Classic99, I do apologize for never mentioning that the games were born through that emulator.  Not that he wants an apology, 'cos he doesn't.  But it's there anyway.

The negative always sticks with you more than the positive - it's part of how humans are wired (mostly because negative is more threat than positive, so demands are larger response. But the brain can't tell the difference between a virtual negative with no life impact and an in-your-face negative with immediate life impact ).

 

But the fact that Classic99 is used to create so many things is the one saving grace for me that sticks out above all the negatives - from being accused to starting it solely to bankrupt PC99 to having code stolen for closed projects by snobby authors to having freely shared bugfixes and TI emulation firsts claimed discovered by someone else - it's been a hell of a roughly 30 year journey. But it has supported new creation -- and that is indeed its purpose in life. So no, no apology needed. The games are more than enough.

 

As for the games and the burnout - definitely don't be afraid to slow down. And when you do release - do expect that someone will find something you didn't. It's okay to be annoyed but bigger than that, I'm often surprised and try take it with a bit of wonder that someone tried that. Remember, "Every program contains one bug and can be optimized by one instruction. Which means every piece of software can be reduced to one instruction that doesn't work."

 

Edited February 28, 2023 by Tursi

[Reciprocating Bill]

34 minutes ago, Tursi said:

But the brain can't tell the difference between a virtual negative with no life impact and an in-your-face negative with immediate life impact  .

 

"Some of the worst things in my life never even happened." - Mark Twain.

Edited February 28, 2023 by Reciprocating Bill

[Retrospect]

Thanks @Tursi  
 

[+OLD CS1]

15 minutes ago, Reciprocating Bill said:

"Some of the worst things in my life never even happened." - Mark Twain.

And we are often our own harshest critic.