Looking for a BASIC speech program featuring joke-telling robots

[Yosikuma]

It's a long shot, but I figured I would try here:

 

I grew up with the TI-99/4A and loved tinkering with the speech synthesizer and the Terminal Emulator II cartridge. 

 

I remember a family friend gave us disks of tons of user group software written in BASIC and Extended BASIC, and one was a program with blocky hastily-drawn robots who would tell each other lame jokes. To differentiate between the two robots, one's voice was deeper than the other. After each lame dad joke, the robots would "laugh" with a very emotionless dry "HA HA HA." "Ha ha ha."

 

Does anyone know what I am talking about, or where I can find it? I would love to run it on my TI but could also use suggestions as to how to get it on floppy or runnable as a cart on my Final GROM.

 

Thank you in advance!

[+TheBF]

LOL. Make we want to write one.  I would be possible with the T/E II cartridge I think.

[Yosikuma]

My understanding -- and mind you, it's been literally DECADES since I have attempted to program in XB or on the TI in general -- was that despite the abilities XB gave, it had an extremely limited ability in terms of speech. I recall the manual having a list of words it knew, and it would spell everything else out at an agonizingly slow pace. If you were able to work within those limits or find a workaround, it could be worth it.

[jrhodes]

There is also a text-to-speech disk for XB.

[HOME AUTOMATION]

 

HA. HA. HA.

 

PD0751!.ZIP

 

RJOKES/BTS

 

100 DIM A$(25)
110 OPEN #1:"SPEECH",OUTPUT
120 A$(0)="003F7F7F7F26667F"
130 A$(1)="FF7F0F0F0F0FFFFF"
140 A$(2)="FFFF7F7F0F7F0F0F"
150 A$(3)="7070F0F0E0E0C080"
160 A$(4)="0F0F0F7F7FFFE0F8"
170 A$(5)="808080F0F8F838F8"
180 A$(6)="F8F8F8F8F8F8F0F8"
190 A$(7)="F8F8F8F8F8F878F8"
200 A$(8)="F8F1F1E3E3C78FD7"
210 A$(9)="F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8"
220 A$(10)="00C0E0F0F070707"
230 A$(11)="F8F080808080808"
240 A$(12)="0003070F0F0F0F0F"
250 A$(13)="00FCFEFEFEE4E6FE"
260 A$(14)="0F0F0F0F0E0E0301"
270 A$(15)="FFFFFEFEF0FEF0F0"
280 A$(16)="0101010F1F1F1C1F"
290 A$(17)="F0F0F0FEFFFF071F"
300 A$(18)="1F1F1F1F1F1F1E1F"
310 A$(19)="1F1F1F1F1F1F0F1F"
320 A$(20)="1F1F1F1F1F1F1F1F"
330 A$(21)="1F8F8FC7C7C3E1EB"
340 A$(22)="1F0F010101010101"
350 A$(23)="FFFEF0F0F0F0FFFF"
360 A$(24)="FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"
370 FOR I=100 TO 123
380 CALL CHAR(I,A$(I-100))
390 NEXT I
400 CALL CLEAR
410 PRINT "******SICK ROBOT JOKES******": : : :"ANOTHER PGM BY SAM MOORE JR.": : : :"THE NONSENSE WILL BEGIN NOW.": : : :
420 CALL KEY(0,K,S)
430 D=D+1
440 IF D=175 THEN 460
450 IF S=0 THEN 420
460 CALL CLEAR
470 CALL SCREEN(12)
480 CALL COLOR(9,5,1)
490 CALL COLOR(10,5,1)
500 CALL COLOR(11,7,1)
510 CALL COLOR(12,7,1)
520 CALL COLOR(14,13,1)
530 REM  ROBOT ON RIGHT 
540 CALL VCHAR(10,20,100)
550 CALL VCHAR(10,21,110)
560 CALL VCHAR(11,20,102)
570 CALL VCHAR(11,21,103)
580 CALL VCHAR(12,20,104)
590 CALL VCHAR(12,21,105)
600 CALL VCHAR(13,20,106)
610 CALL VCHAR(13,21,107)
620 CALL VCHAR(14,20,108)
630 CALL VCHAR(14,21,109)
640 CALL VCHAR(15,20,101)
650 CALL VCHAR(15,21,111)
660 REM  ROBOT ON LEFT 
670 CALL VCHAR(10,10,112)
680 CALL VCHAR(10,11,113)
690 CALL VCHAR(11,10,114)
700 CALL VCHAR(11,11,115)
710 CALL VCHAR(12,10,116)
720 CALL VCHAR(12,11,117)
730 CALL VCHAR(13,10,118)
740 CALL VCHAR(13,11,119)
750 CALL VCHAR(14,10,120)
760 CALL VCHAR(14,11,121)
770 CALL VCHAR(15,10,122)
780 CALL VCHAR(15,11,123)
790 CALL CHAR(140,A$(24))
800 CALL HCHAR(16,1,140,96)
810 REM  RIGHT ROBOT SPEAKS 
820 READ B$
830 CALL CHAR(102,"FFFF7F7F0F0F0F7F")
840 GOSUB 1640
850 IF B$="ZZZ" THEN 1110
860 GOSUB 1120
870 PRINT B$
880 CALL SOUND(99,880,20)
890 PRINT #1:B$
900 CALL CHAR(102,"FFFF7F7F0F7F0F0F")
910 GOSUB 1640
920 REM  LEFT ROBOT SPEAKS 
930 READ B$
940 IF B$="ZZZ" THEN 1110
950 FOR DE=1 TO 399
960 NEXT DE
970 CALL CHAR(115,"FFFFFEFEF0F0F0FE")
980 GOSUB 1640
990 GOSUB 1140
1000 PRINT:B$:
1010 B$=B$&" HA HA HA"
1020 PRINT #1:B$
1030 CALL CHAR(115,"FFFFFEFEF0FEF0F0")
1040 GOSUB 1640
1050 CALL CHAR(102,"FFFF7F7F0F0F0F7F")
1060 GOSUB 1640
1070 PRINT #1:"//43 128":"HA HA HA"
1080 CALL CHAR(102,"FFFF7F7F0F7F0F0F")
1090 GOSUB 1640
1100 GOTO 460
1110 END
1120 PRINT #1:"//43 128"
1130 RETURN
1140 PRINT #1:"//33 100"
1150 RETURN
1160 DATA HI. I AM ROCKIE RO-BOT.,HI. I AM ROCKIES TWIN.
1170 DATA WE WILL TELL YOU FORTY SICK RO-BOT JOKES IF YOU DON'T   HURRY AND TURN US OFF.
1180 DATA YOU SEE--WE ARE KINDA SICK  OURSELVES.
1190 DATA WHAT ANIMAL GROWS DOWN--    INSTEAD OF UP?,A GOOSE.
1200 DATA WHERE DO GOOD LITTLE ENGINES WASH THEMSELVES?,BEHIND THEIR ENGINEERS.
1210 DATA WHAT DO YOU GIVE TO AN OLD  LADY JUST PASSING SIXTY-    FIVE?,A TRAFFIC TICKET.
1220 DATA IS THE SECOND DAY OF THE    WEEK PRONOUNCED TOOS-DAY OR TEUS-DAY?,NEITHER-BECAUSE ITS MONDAY.
1230 DATA DID YOU PUT AN AD IN THE    PAPER FOR YOUR LOST DOG?,NO. HE CAN'T READ.
1240 DATA WHY DOESN'T A BICYCLE GO AS FAST AS A CAR?,IT'S TWO TIRED.
1250 DATA HOW ARE DOG CATCHERS PAID?,BY THE POUND.
1260 DATA WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF YOU GO HOME & YOU DON'T HAVE TO  DO HOME_WORK-WASH YOUR NECK OR CLEAN YOUR ROOM?
1270 DATA IT MEANS YOU'RE IN THE WRONG HOUSE.
1280 DATA WHY WAS THE COW GOING TO A  THERAPIST?,SHE HAD A FODDER COMPLEX.
1290 DATA IF ATHLETES HAVE ATHLETE'S  FOOT---- WHAT DO ASTRONAUTS HAVE?,MISSILE TOES.
1300 DATA WHAT DO TURTLES GIVE EACH   OTHER?,PEOPLE-NECK SWETTERS.
1310 DATA WHAT HAS SIX LEGS AND TWO   ARMS?,A COUCH.
1320 DATA WHAT KIND OF WATER DO THEY  USE IN BERLIN TO MAKE TEA?,BERLIN WATER.
1330 DATA CAN I COOK BREKFAST IN MY   PAJAMAS?,YES-BUT A FRYING PAN IS LESS MESSY.
1340 DATA WHO IS ALWAYS HAPPY WHEN    THINGS GO WRONG?,A REPAIRMAN.
1350 DATA WHAT KIND OF MAN STARTS AT  THE TOP AND ENDS UP AT THE  BOTTOM?,A PAPER HANG-ER.
1360 DATA HOW DO YOU MAKE A CIGARETTE LIGHTER?,YOU TAKE OUT THE TOBACCO.
1370 DATA WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU FEED A LITTLE KID TOO MUCH CANTA-LOPE?,A MELON COLIC BABY.
1380 DATA IF A GIRL IS GOING TO MARRY A 99 YEAR OLD MILLIONAIRE---WHAT SHOULD SHE GET MARRIED IN?,A HURRY.
1390 DATA MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT.     WHAT CAN I KEEP IT IN?,A PAPER BAG.
1400 DATA WHAT IS THE HARDEST THING   YOU FIND WHEN RIDING A      BICYCLE?,THE SIDE-WALK.
1410 DATA HOW MANY SKUNKS DOES IT TAKE TO SMELL UP A NEIGHBORHOOD?,JUST A PHEW.
1420 DATA WHAT SHOULD I TAKE FOR A    SUMMER COLD?,DON'T REFUSE ANY REASONABLE OFFER.
1430 DATA WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE SIGNED?,AT THE BOTTOM.
1440 DATA WHAT IS SHAPED LIKE A FINGER-THE SAME COLOR AS A FINGER-& THE SAME SIZE AS A FINGER?,A THUMB.
1450 DATA IF TWO'S COMPANY AND THREE'S A CROWD--WHAT'S FOUR AND   FIVE?,NINE.
1460 DATA WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN OWL HAS LARYN-GYE-TIS?,HE DOESN'T GIVE A HOOT.
1470 DATA WHICH IS RICHER-A BULL OR A COW?,A BULL. THE COW GIVES YOU   MILK--THE BULL CHARGES YOU.
1480 DATA WHAT DO THEY CALL THE PLACE  WHERE THEY SHEAR SHEEP?,A BAA BAA SHOP.
1490 DATA WHY IS A KAR-A-TEE BLOW LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT?,IT'S A POKE CHOP.
1500 DATA IN A BEAUTY CONTEST WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR?,BECAUSE I LIKE TO.
1510 DATA WHY COULDN'T THE HOUSE-WIFE FIND GLOVES BIG ENOUGH TO   FIT HER?,SHE HAD DISH-PAN HANDS.
1520 DATA WHERE DOES THE SANDMAN KEEP HIS SLEEPING SAND?,IN A NAP SACK.
1530 DATA WHAT DID THE MUSICIAN DO    WHEN SOMEONE PUT HIS TRUMPET IN THE FREEZER?,HE PLAYED IT COOL.
1540 DATA WHAT LEAFY GREEN VEGETABLE  IS BAD FOR YOU?,TOBACCO.
1550 DATA WHICH KIND OF SNAKE DOESN'T MULTI-PLY RAPIDLY?,THE ADDER.
1560 DATA WHEN DO YOU CHARGE A NEW    BATTERY?,WHEN YOU CAN'T PAY CASH.
1570 DATA WHAT GETS HARDER TO CATCH   THE FASTER YOU RUN?,YOUR BREATH.
1580 DATA HOW CAN YOU TELL A DOGWOOD?,BY ITS BARK.
1590 DATA WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT A       CONSTANT RINGING IN MY EARS?,GET AN UNLISTED TELEPHONE.
1600 DATA WHY IS ELECTRICITY LIKE A   FIRE-CRACKER?,IT GOES OFF WHEN THE FUSE   BURNS.
1610 DATA THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO  OUR SICK RO-BOT JOKES.
1620 DATA WE WILL BOTH SEE YOU AGAIN  SOON-SO BE ON THE LOOKOUT.,BYE BYE,BYE BYE.
1630 DATA ZZZ,ZZZ
1640 CALL SOUND(-99,888,25)
1650 CALL SOUND(-99,1880,25)
1660 RETURN

[Gary from OPA]

There was also a Bert & Ernie one that was very good, it sounded just like the muppets

[+OLD CS1]

15 minutes ago, Gary from OPA said:

There was also a Bert & Ernie one that was very good, it sounded just like the muppets

That is included in the Extended BASIC 2.7 Suite.  Press FCTN-5 to access it.  This cartridge is built into Classic99.

[WhataKowinkydink]

4 hours ago, Gary from OPA said:

There was also a Bert & Ernie one that was very good, it sounded just like the muppets

That's one of my favs right there

[HOME AUTOMATION]

5 hours ago, Gary from OPA said:

There was also a Bert & Ernie one that was very good, it sounded just like the muppets

That's in there too...

 

ALPHA SING, is actually TEII.

 

Although my-pick ...is OUT HOUSE!🏠

[Gary from OPA]

10 hours ago, OLD CS1 said:

That is included in the Extended BASIC 2.7 Suite.  Press FCTN-5 to access it.  This cartridge is built into Classic99.

thanks, i never knew that, i will have to try it out later during my late lunch break.

[Gary from OPA]

It worked nicely. Thanks.

 

 

 

Edited December 22, 2023 by Gary from OPA
twitter link to video

[WhataKowinkydink]

"....'cause you're just really good at getting angry."  🤣

[+OLD CS1]

1 hour ago, WhataKowinkydink said:

"....'cause you're just really good at getting angry."  🤣

I totally feel seen.