Paranoid's Blog - Musings of a lunatic

RSS Bot · July 8, 2006

So, I felt that I needed to address a topic, and that a Blog was the logical forum for me to post this in. I'd like to get this out in the air, so that next time it happens, I can simply refer the offending party to this blog.

I've got this theory, if you're in a room full of people, and EVERYONE is pointing at you and saying you are an insufferable jerk, and you are certain that they are just all lunatics... you might be right. You *can* be the only intelligent life in a room full of dumb-asses. In America, it is really, in fact quite common to experience just this. Anyone who has ever sat in a corporate board-room or meeting should understand me about this. If *everytime* you are in *any* group of people they say you are an insufferable jerk, and you're convinced that they are just lunatics, you're probably WRONG. I think this is a pretty sound theory.

With that much of my theory in print here, let me go on. Anyone who thinks my handle/nick is an arbitrary thing that I just picked because I like the sound of it couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, this is a shortened version of my original handle, which I've had since around 1987, when I used it on local Citadel type bulletin board services. At that time I was known by the far more descriptive "Paranoid Delusions". Evidently some of you assume I am just a Black Sabbath fan. This isn't the case. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that if you are confused, it is simply because you are a big Black Sabbath fan. Certainly one with enough taste to prefer Ozzy's Sabbath to Dio's, as well. See how much of the benefit of the doubt I am giving you? I know... you're welcome.

But in all honesty, I think the reason I picked up the nick "Paranoid Delusions", now shortened to "Paranoid", is NOT my fault, although I've heard that it is often enough when conversing with groups of people online that I just may be wrong (please see my theory above). I still think the real blame lies with people having a poor command of the English language, and being generally lazy when trying to describe the personality or actions and activities of another individual - and, "Melodramatic Dramaqueen" doesn't make nearly as good of a nickname/handle as "Paranoid Delusions", anyhow. And of course, what are paranoid delusions without elaborate justifications, anyhow?

So please understand if I treat you with a certain amount of contempt if you point out that you think I'm living up to my handle and expect me to be either amused or englightened by your comment. I've heard this at least a half-a-dozen times since I came to this forum alone. Guess how many times I've heard this accusation since 1987 in various forms including everything from the above-mentioned Citadels to Usenet forums and everywhere inbetween... (please reference theory #1, above). If you expect guffaws, kudos, and brownie-points for pointing out the rather obvious, I suggest you try this particular approach in other situations in your life, too. "Wow, that toaster says that I shouldn't stand in a tub full of water with the toaster plugged in, maybe I'll give that a shot and see if they're serious"... would be my first suggestion.

If you've read this far, you've probably noticed that I'm also pretty light-hearted in my approach to this kind of online conflict. In a sarcastic, wry, dry and bitter way. Some people find this amusing... many people (I like to call this group, "my victims"), don't see the humor in it. I often get called a troll, for this behavior. I'm not. I'm worse... I'm more like a deformed, angry, mean little goblin. Or a tiny, nervous little high-strung dog that is likely to bite at the barest of provocations. (Oooh. I like that last one).

I also find it intolerably irritating that you think you're pointing out something that I don't already *know* about myself. Do you *really* want to go down that path? Because almost assuredly I've made some observations about you that are every bit as apt, that I'm holding back on. I can guarantee you, almost EVERY time someone makes this comment about me, it is someone whom with I've held my tongue on my own personal observations on *their* nature. When pointing out the obvious, it almost always pays to take the high road. You won't impress me, or anyone else for that matter, by bringing something that was under a 1000 watt high intensity halogen bulb out into the brightness of the day. You're either witnessing to the comitted unbelievers or preaching to the choir, here. So why bother?

So, the next time you feel like making the rocket-scientist observation that I am living up to my handle, don't be surprised if you feel my sharp, angry little teeth biting into the skin of your ankle, ok? And like all mean little dogs, I'll remain convinced, long after the event, that if you hadn't moved so suddenly you wouldn't have gotten bit, and that it isn't MY fault at all. Big dogs feel guilty after they bite. Small dogs only wish they had sharper teeth.

And this isn't aimed at the LAST person who comitted this transgression against me. Don't be so paranoid. It is aimed at EVERYONE, ever, who has, or will, or might even think about doing this. Leave the paranoid behavior to the professionals. Thank you, and that is all.

http://www.atariage.com/forums/index.php?a...;showentry=1700