Chapter 8
Several weeks have passed. Tom sits in his dimly lit dorm room. His eyes scan the digicenter for the time: 5:40 P.M. He feels slightly sick, his bones weak. His wrists feel numb. He wishes he could disconnect his hands from them. If it could free him. In his mind he screams. There is nothing to be desired. He has already looked upon the face of God. Or is it just that he cannot decide? Paralyzed, no movement of the body but no peace of mind. Only scratching and screamin
The state of Maryland has been writing the popular “Ask Maryland” column for PARADE since 1990. Maryland is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the 9th smallest state.
Dear Maryland,
My 18 year old son was charged with underage drinking and drug possession while vacationing with his friends in Ocean City, MD during Senior Week. Is there any way we can just pay the fine? We live in Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania and it’s a 4 hour drive to Worcester County District Court. Our son is
Here with us tonight we have Marilyn Vos Savant, the beautiful young actress who played Mayor Elaine Walsh in the recent film E.T.: The Burning Inner Sun that is Lucifer’s Clock.
Harry Potter: Welcome, Marilyn.
Marilyn: Thank you, Harry. My pleasure.
Harry: I understand you and your family just got back from a vacation in Ocean City, MD. How did that go? Beautiful tan by the way.
Marilyn (laughs): Oh thank you. It was very relaxing. I did anal with Paul Revere.
Harry: O
If any of you have gone on vacation to Ocean City, MD in the 90's, depending on which hotel you stayed at, you may have seen this:
This past summer my family and I went on our annual vacation to Ocean City, and to all of our surprise and delight, the old commercials were still playing on one of the channels on the TV! I rushed to the nearby CVS, bought their last package of VHS tapes, and decided it was my duty to preserve this classic. While everyone else was swimming in the ocean
Chapter 7
At this time it would be useful to more closely examine the geological anomalies surrounding Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Beginning in early 2012, scientists began observing a magnetic field coming up from the Susquehanna River and branching outward into the city. Over the years the force has steadily increased and more recently has taken on an eerie, almost humanlike quirkiness about how and when it manifests itself. Scientists are still divided on exactly what the cause is, some
Chapter 6
It wasn’t all smiles after that speech at the capital you know. In fact most people walked away disconcerted.
“Drinking kills brain cells and makes you fat. I thought this movie job would be serious. I am a film major and take my studies very seriously,” said one woman who preferred to remain anonymous.
“My father is an alcoholic. I’ve experimented with alcohol before and it isn’t pretty. The whole thing is just laughable. He’s so out of touch. I’m taking the next bu
Chapter 5
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKK*
“Ok, quiet down everybody, quiet down,” a short man with a receding gray hairline commands them through a loudspeaker. He stands atop the apex of the capital building, looking down on the sea of neon green that stretches for miles. His silver hair shines in the sunlight, his sideburns resting daintily below his now defunct headslot.
“My name is Bruce McCulloch. I am the director of E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. I want to than
Chapter 4
Tom wiped the sleep from his eyes and glanced at his crumbled piece of paper as the bus
rolled into Harrisburg.
"Sign ups - 10:00 A.M. - Riverview Pavilion - City Island"
"City Island?" he thought, "Pennsylvania doesn't border the ocean. This must be on the
Susquehanna River."
It didn't take long for Tom to figure out where to go. As far as the eye could see - on street
corners, outside of Starbucks, loitering on the stairs of state buildings - were college
stude
Chapter 3
"Chrissy, it's Tom!"
"Oh, hey Tom! It's so nice to hear from you!"
"Guess what!"
"What?!"
"I got a job!"
"Oh my God! I'm so happy for you!"
"Yeah I know! I'm so excited!"
"What is it?"
"I'm working on the set of a movie! In Harrisburg!"
"Wow! That's amazing!"
"I know! I'm leaving tomorrow."
"Well good luck, Tom! Call me when you get there."
"Ok, I will. I love you!"
"I love you, too!"
"Bye!"
"Bye!"
Tom clicks o
Chapter 2
Poot! Poot! Poot! Poot! Zip! Zip! Pee! Pee! Pee!
Dr. Amarita Netel has been assassinated. I repeat: Dr. Amarita Netel has been assassinated.
Zip! Zup! Poot! Poot! Poo!
Tom was standing in the hallway connecting the kitchen to the living room when he heard the news.
His parents were sitting at the kitchen table. Everything just stopped. You could hear a pin
drop. Ask any person where they were when they heard that Amarita was shot. They'll tell you.
This was th
Duke of St Albans: Mr. Potter, we're all depending on you. You're the head on this entire
operation.
Duke of Norfolk: Yes, Mr. Potter, you must lead us. We are mere shells, filled with your
great insight, reflecting all that you perceive.
Duke of Montrose: We are nothing without you. How will you lead humanity in the coming
tribulation?
Duke of Bedford: Please takes us gently by the hand, Harry. Lead us into the time of
great struggle.
Duke of Roxburghe: How can we prep
E.T. : The Burning Inner Sun that is Lucifer's Clock
Chapter 1
7:11 P.M., Saturday, May 27th, 2023. Our story begins on this date, at this time, in the quiet
town of Pancreuddium, Pennsylvania. Thomas Saucin, 19 years old, an engineering student at Penn
State University has just returned home for summer break. He relaxes on a sofa in his parent's
basement. Down there his world is a snapshot of the mid 2000's. The bulky television set in
the corner shows The Office in syndicat
There are movie blends,
Christ is missint, massiant.
We've been friends on other forums.
A Master's more, s'more, ore' God's loved ones to continue.
Please be Franken. Style gay commute. Hard gear carriers.
"I am the keymaster."
The voice hisses softly. A lonesome "Keith Stone" billboard advertising Keystone Light hunches
decaying in the desert eve.
"I am the keymaster."
Egon administers test after test. The Book of Egon is the Word. And the desert winds die down.
"I am the gatekeeper."
7 suns set in the sky, 7 moons brighten the night.
"I am the keymaster."
Sunset. Sunrise.
Reset. Select B/W.
Sunset. Sunrise.
Black.
Or.
White.
Harry and his closest friend and partner Oggy the dishwasher decide to go for a walk through
the desert.
"Oggy, you are the only person I can trust it seems. I feel like the whole world is falling
down on me," Harry confesses, his eyes looking downward.
"You don't have to say a word, Harry. I feel all of your sorrow inside of me. Your heartbeat
and lifebreath are my heartbeat and lifebreath."
After several hours the two men become very thirsty.
"Isn't there a way that you
BALTIMORE (AP) - Investigators believe they now know the names of the two men involved in the
murder of English actor Daniel Radcliffe. Khalid Mahaad, 39, and Fayes Bin Yaseen, 49, both
of Saudi Arabian descent, are believed to be the killers. Both men plunged themselves into
large pools of neon green acid in the suburb of Salisbury, MD shortly after the murder.
Khalid Mahaad immigrated to the United States in the mid 1990's, Fayes Bin Yaseen in 2000. The
men were involved in a ter
Sorry I failed drug test. So doo yoo guyz w0nt to playyyeee skizzohrs?
Meanwhile, Harry has been pacing and spinning, pacing and spinning, the spin of his worth.
"It's all Pac Man's fault. We eye-d-eyed-im. I love him."
"Why doesn't Pac Man spin?"
The clouds combine over the center of Main Street, darkening as the wind spins them tighter.
Hornets.
"Yo
As long as the media’s clean,
Your own father elects the sins of the herd,
And commits himself,
The pit of his worth.
I love the first taste. Good afternoon everybody, I’ve been hired. Sadly, “Pac Man vs The Hippo” must go. Job is more important. Hope you understand, it’s all I ever cared about – NOT YOU – ROFL. It’s over. You’re dumped.
Pac Man is being housed in the back room of the Tin Chin Korean restaurant while his legal matters are sorted out. For the past 2 weeks he has been living on orange soda and fortune cookies, he passes the time munching on cookies and reading his fortunes.
*Crunch crunch crunch*
“Today, your charm will have them singing like birds.”
Pac Man: Yeah I have them singing alright.
He rips open the plastic. *Crunch crunch*
“You may attend a party where strange customs prevail.”
Harry Potter's assistants carefully apply blush and eyeshadow to his face. He stands facing
the setting sun, atop the historical Gettysburg landmark, Devil's Den.
"To all our fallen sons I pledge this face."
His assistants apply an almost unnoticeable layer of lip gloss.
"I love you all and reek of comfort."
The soldiers re-enacting the battle hold their guns straight upwards, expunging white colloidal
records onto the bright blue abyss.
"There was never a moment of dou
"We're back at HLN News (redundancy noted). Again we have Pac Man."
BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!! HYYYYYHZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZHHHHSSSSS!!!
"I...I...I can't hear my earpiece. Can someone please stop the drilling?!"
"Pac Man?! We can't hear you. Please speak louder."
HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
"PLEASE STOP DRILLING!!!"
"PAC MAN??!! THERE SEEMS TO BE A PROBLEM WITH OUR CONNECTION. CAN YOU HEAR ME??!"
"YES I CAN HEA
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