"Thank you for choosing HLN News. We have Pac Man."
~Sir"The police department have ruled in your favor, but I believe in lady justice."
"This is enough already. Tell the kid to kill himself."
Several walls are given the ok to restart the drilling into them.
"Alright. Everyone off the set except for the drillers."
The drillers continue their work until they see 'their cue'.
One idea is that they begin commercials as the bathrooms become busier, the first a
conseque
Meanwhile, Harry Potter managed to untie himself from the firehouse wheel and walked home.
"I hope Pac Man is ok. It's probably just a small kitchen fire," he thought as his cloak and
paisely pants dried in the fall sunlight. Upon arriving home there was a mysterious letter
addressed to him in his mailbox.
"Dear Harry Potter,
My name is CatScraps and I was the current author of the popular Pac Man vs The Hippo blog series on
AtariAge.com. By the time you read this letter I will
"Everything is small." "Everything is small." "Everything is small." "Everything is small."
Salisbury fire department signals left down Waterfront Ave as they sing.
"Everything is small." "Everything is small." "Everything is small." "Everything is small."
There's no room for big shots. Be yourself. Be a team. Hang your gown in sorrow.
"Blood." "Blood." "Blood." "Blood."
The Salisbury fire department shields their eyes from onlookers.
"Everything is small." "Every
"It's time for our special journey together, Harry!" Harry wipes the sleep out of his eyes
as a glowing, smiling Pac Man hovers over his bed. "Hurry! Hurry! We mustn't waste time!"
Harry opens his arms wide and flings open his front door as the sunlight and brisk wind hits
his face and eyes. His fingertips tingle as he smiles and laughs. "I didn't think it would be
like this, Pac Man!" Harry screams with delight.
"I know Harry! C'mon, I have so much to show you!"
A camera
Harry and Pac Man decide to journey back to Hogwarts. They scour the library,
particularly the paranormal section, to understand the WHY behind Pac Man's
ghost problem. They come across a book called "The Handbook" written by H.R. Beeman.
Here are a few meaningful passages:
"It is against natural law for a parent to bury a child, yet the law of God is defined by it."
"No suicide is completely voluntary, for the snuff of life pits the mind against the body.
What was first determi
Hello AtariAge members:
This is CatScraps' mom. CatScraps took her life yesterday evening. Our family is still
trying to deal with this so excuse me if I make any mistakes. One of her final requests
is that I inform the AtariAge community of her ultimate decision and that I continue to write
the Pac Man vs The Hippo blog series. According to her it meant al ot to so many people here.
I just don't know why she chose to do this. I work 2 jobs but I will do my best to continue
the s
Two bearded dreamers sit on matching lazy green sofas in the red button room.
"Paul, you've been procrastinating the Pac Man vs The Hippo painting for too long. Just do
the damn thing. You said it would only take you 20 minutes to paint it."
"I haven't gotten around to buying the canvas and I need new paints. I'll do it next
weekend when I get my paycheck."
"That's what you said last weekend!"
*Canned laughter*
"No one figured out the puzzle yet anyhow. No one's goin
Oh Most Holy James.
Please weather this change
Wilt not and beckon soon
Dear Mr. Harry Potter,
We have seen your actions and still believe in your power. Please come along with us little doggie.
Dear Mr. Solitary Confinement Man,
We have seen grief. One person cried. Print everything in capitals. When in your mind, EverL0ngP1001s@yahooo
Mally guide.
Once in between and once yet for good the stars collide and fowl what dreams they seek. Four of the youn
Archie and Milo lean with their backs against the carousel.
Archie: "Did you read the new Harry Potter thingy on AtariAge?"
Milo looks at Archie with eyes of disgust.
"I read it like once. It's pointless."
Archie: "Everyone's talking about it. It's the highlight of my day when I see a new entry
posted. It's funny, that CatScraps person is also making status updates about cats, it's like
a running joke. I just love the whole thing. It's the reason I get up in the morning;
*Applause Applause*
"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is a very special night. The one and only ghostbusters are minutes from entering
the Tin Chin restaurant to hold their first press conference in over 20 years. Please relax and enjoy the
company of friends in our warm atmosphere. The grilled side of pork is on special. Specialty beers are also
available upon request."
*Massive applause, cameras flashing*
"And here they are!"
In walk Egon, Ray, and Winston, glad in their f
Mr. Harry Potter sits in a white oak chair in a dimly lit room.
Potter: "They all stole it from me."
Voice of Reason: "I don't understand."
Potter: "All of my ideas. They took all of my ideas."
Voice of Reason: "Give me an example."
Potter: "I...I, well...there isn't just one example. It's so blatent. I..I...it isn't fair."
Voice of Reason: "Let's discuss your relationship with your father."
Potter: "No."
A telephone rings. The Voice of Reason answers.
"He
A very long pause..
"We're very sorry to seat you. Please, come sir, come sir."
Crimson red tablecloth and lit candles adorn the small Korean restaurant. Agent number 5 sits down at his booth
near the restrooms. "Drinks to start," the server commands with a subtle lisp. "Uh, yes, just a glass of water. No
ice, please."
"I'll be right back with your beverages, sir."
Agent number 5 removes a small kitten folder from behind his breast. He looks over his files.
"Mmmm.
The audience sits chattering and anxious in a darkened auditorium.
And then...
Light.
The crowd erupts into wild cheer and applause.
The curtains open and we see Harry Potter, equipped with brand new mechanical legs, dressed in a starlight
white leotard and royal cape with flashing lights up his thighs.
Intoxicating techno beats blast from speakers as smoke fills the stage. Digitally altered female voices sing:
"I'm back! I'm back! I'm b-aaaaa--ck, baby back baby bac
Pac Man, Ms Pac Man, Pac Man Jr, and Baby Pac Man were sitting down for family dinner, Baby Pac Man in her high chair.
They all latched tongues together and prayed.
"Bless us Oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen."
"Amen!" yelled Baby Pac Man cutely. Everyone smiled.
For a minute or two the family dug into their meatloaf and green beans. Finally Pac Man broke the silence.
"Junior, cap off at the table." Pac
Harry lay tossing and turning in his hospital bed, his throat burning, plagued by vivid dreams.
The sweat and heat behind his head melted and twisted as he slipped in and out of consciousness. A white angel
with sky blue shoulders came to him.
"This is not a brain hemorrhage, Harry. I am watching over you. Just a tiny squirt of blood, that's all.
To appease the king. You won't even feel it, Harry. Just a tiny drop of blood down the back of your neck. Everything
is fine. Just wa
Before beginning this episode we have an urgent message from Pac Man:
"Hello local Craigslist community. Recently I posted a Curb Alert in the Free section. This Curb Alert was meant
ONLY for items near the curb. My daughter's air conditioner, which was sitting on the side of our house (we were
waiting on a valve), was stolen this past Friday. If whoever took it would please return it ASAP we will not involve
the police."
And now we will hear from Dr. Alkens of the Notting Hill H
Flashback 1966:
Announcer Type Fellow: "Glad to be with you. K-Rim here doin the doggy dance all workday long. Comin' up an
instant classic from the Lovin'. Summer in the City."
Cue Alfred Potter, Harry's future father, aged 14, delivering entertainment magazines on his red Meteor Flite bicycle.
"Howdy, Mr. Hodges! Here's the latest Modern Man, hot off the presses!"
"Thanks Alfie! Do tell your mother the Hodges said hello!"
"Yessir I will! Gotta run! Lotta papes ta de
"I love you Pac Man!" Harry cried and cried his eyes out. "I...I...I can't stop crying, Pac Man. I love you
so much. I have so much love, I can't stop, Pac Man. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."
Soon Jeremy's nose descended from the sky, and a tiny burnt whale came out of the right nostril.
"I'm sorry, Harry, but you have to go now," the whale informed everyone. The burnt whale carried away Harry by his
armpits as he kicked and screamed and proclaimed his love even l
Slowly but surely a green smoke began seeping through the walls.
"Pac Man! Quick, take the sword before I lose it in the smoke!"
Pac Man grabbed the sword just in time as Harry's face and hands went numb. He fell to the ground, convulsing and speaking in tongues. Thinking quickly, Pac Man began spinning and spinning faster and faster and soon the smoke cleared. When Harry opened his eyes Pac Man's jolly face was looking at him with a half grin on.
"Don't you trust me, Harry?"
"What sort of a maze is this?" wondered Harry. "This is a maze of cheese," said Pac Man. As far and wide as Harry could see there were beautiful quartz crystal like structures. "I've never seen cheese like this," said Harry, scratching behind his ear. "This is head cheese, Harry. Head cheese is the most beautiful cheese that God ever created. Let me show you." Pac Man grabbed a spade and began digging into a halfed crystal of cheese. "As you dig deeper you find beautiful colors and patte
Harry Potter and his friend Marcus had just located the secret Book of Souls. They opened it up to the first page:
"Well if it isn't this mischievous boy they call Potter. This is Uncle Batman. I have for you a secret message that you must decode in order to enter into the forbidden maze. If you can decode the message then you have finally proven yourself a man and as a reward you can ride the enchanted hippo free of charge (of course after you find your way through the maze - MWA-HAHAHA
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