"I love you Pac Man!" Harry cried and cried his eyes out. "I...I...I can't stop crying, Pac Man. I love you

so much. I have so much love, I can't stop, Pac Man. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

Soon Jeremy's nose descended from the sky, and a tiny burnt whale came out of the right nostril.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but you have to go now," the whale informed everyone. The burnt whale carried away Harry by his

armpits as he kicked and screamed and proclaimed his love even louder.

"I LOVE YOU PAC MAN!!! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU PAC MAN!!!"

Pac Man continued along the maze of cheese, occasionally planting small candy canes. "These candy canes are

good for canine dental care," Pac Man addressed the camera, staring directly into the lens. "There comes a time...erhm,"

he spoke in monotone, his thought seemingly cut off. "Planty planty, candy cane candy cane. My canines are

skippy dippy in Candy Land."

It's quite dental.

Since you are reading this you'd be interested to know what happened to Harry Potter. He was put in a home for

lost souls in Notting Hill. He's misplaced his spectacles you see. That was the problem. It was a displacement,

rather. You know how things get a bit off hand. A dog bite, rather. A dog bit off his hand, aye matey. That was the

reason. It was only a visit. He's getting along well enough without us.

Back to our episode.

Wouldn't you know it but the dreaded three headed dogs of hell were in the maze sniffing out the candy canes.

When the dogs charged at Pac Man, Pac Man opened his mouth so wide that his entire body became a hole, and the dogs

disappeared into that hole. Then Pac Man simply returned back to normal.

"You see kids," Pac Man spoke into the camera, "it's all an optical illusion really. Those dogs were never here in

the first place. Here let me show you something."

The camera zoomed in on one of Pac Man's canine teeth, where he had a tiny cavity. As the camera got closer and closer

the cavity grew and grew into a humungous hole that filled the entire screen. Finally the camera lens passed through the

hole and ended up in field of daisies.

"Peek A Boo!" Pac Man yelled as he popped up from the bottom of the screen. "Glad we're out of that maze, eh?! Let's

frolic through the daisies for a bit!" For 8 minutes Pac Man frolics through the daisies as audience members get

up to get cups of coffee.

"It's not as good this time," one audience member says to another. "I'm having trouble following."

"Yeah, I agree. I'm surprised Harry is gone. Do you think he's gone for good?"

"I'm not sure. I get the feeling there isn't much of an idea in the first place."

"Yeah, I hear you on that one. This coffee is terrible by the way."

"I know. It must be 2 days old. Please take a look at my new watch."

Of course that isn't just any watch. Audience Member #1 is in fact an American spy and the watch is causing a

state of perfect zen in Audience Member #2. You see, when he was a young child, Audience Member #2 was implanted

with a special device inside of his right earlobe. It is a secret fact known by the Soviet government that human

thoughts actually have a decibel level, albeit a very small one. The device in Audience Member #2's earlobe is

able to amplify some of his louder thoughts and send them to computer databases overseas.

"What are you thinking about?" asks Audience Member #1.

"Well...that's strange...nothing at all. Nothing that I can remember anyway. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason. C'mon let's get back into the theater."

The two walk back into the theater just in time to see Pac Man fly up into the air, spin around a few times,

and land on his back on top of the daisies.

"Ah, that feels good," Pac Man said. "Please join us next episode as Harry and I continue our quest to find the

hippo!" The screen cuts to black. Several audience members groan. One particularly angry man, William, decides

to take matters into his own hands. Upon entering his apartment that night, one by one he coats each and every

paper clip that he can find in maple syrup, and he strings them all together. He then clips one end to his refrigerator

and drags the long string all the way back to the theater and attaches the other end to the box office window.

"This will show them," he thinks.

He then goes back home and lets loose 1000's of red ants to crawl along the paper clip string. The next morning

Jeremy, the box office window dude, casually opens the door to his booth when several ants fly into his right

nostril.

"AHHH!!!! IT FEELS LIKE A WHALE IN THERE!!!! AHHH!!!!"

To be continued.....