New Atari Console that Ataribox?

[MrBeefy]

6 minutes ago, frankodragon said:

Jessie's been spamming up IGG lately.

 

 

Sounds jealous that their system is going to lose to a family friendly mobile system.

 

Stop projecting and eat a taco Scroggins.

[+x=usr(1536)]

At this rate, the Ataribollocks'(tm) nearest competitors are will may could possibly be:

• A six-year-old laptop with a flaky touchpad
• Cup-and-ball games
• The March 9th, 1986 morning edition of The Des Moines Register
• Proctology examinations
• The dead spider I found inside my Atari 5200
• Google Stadia
• A third-generation copy of a Clutch Cargo marathon originally recorded off-air using SLP mode during an electrical storm
• DIY trepanning kits
• Anything found in a litterbox
• Error: 404

Tacos are not on the list because the Ataribollocks simply cannot compete with them.

[JBerel]

[TankedThomas]

3 hours ago, digdugnate said:

submitted without comment- other than this feels like the representative userbase of the No-tari.

 

 

2 hours ago, frankodragon said:

Jessie's been spamming up IGG lately.

 

 

I... huh... What? This guy's mad. They all are.

There's so much wrong here.

 

The Nintendo thing alone is baffling. Yes, the Wii U was a mess (fun system, good games, terrible hardware and marketing), the Switch has its fair share of problems, and despite owning almost every Nintendo console bar a few Game Boy (Advance) and (3)DS(i) revisions, I refuse to buy a Switch and have countless issues with Nintendo as of late. 

And yet his statement about the Wii U is still just a mess.

I guess Nintendo just wasn't good enough to compete with Atari's Very Crude Scam almost six years before Atari made it (and a year before Fred was crowned king of Tacoland)!

 

Also, old Infogrames titles: about a dollar each on Steam/GOG right now, sometimes cheaper when on sale or on other sites. Don't buy a VCS for that, morons. 

[MrMaddog]

If that's how the Atari VCS Community on social media is like, then they can have it!  It's the perfect UNconsole for any Idiotocracy...

 

 

 

"Shut up, I'm streaming on E-TAR-E!!!"

Edited December 16, 2019 by MrMaddog

[RedWolfJC]

On 12/13/2019 at 4:22 PM, Flojomojo said:

 

This one is actually a pretty neat idea. 

 

 

Just wanted to second this. (well except the nonsense about it rising above the ps5/xbox)

 

It kinda sorta almost would barely give this thing a reason to exist.

 

Doubt that "Atari" could pull it off, though.

 

 

 

Edited December 16, 2019 by RedWolfJC

[racerx]

What did I miss that had Atari SA stock jumping almost 10% today?

[Flojomojo]

5 minutes ago, racerx said:

What did I miss that had Atari SA stock jumping almost 10% today?

10% seems like a big increase. An increase by three pennies does not. 

When you're Atari SA, three cents is 10% of your share value. 

I don't think there's anything to see here; it'll be back to good old 30 cents before long. 

 

[Flojomojo]

2 hours ago, x=usr(1536) said:

At this rate, the Ataribollocks'(tm) nearest competitors are will may could possibly be:

• The March 9th, 1986 morning edition of The Des Moines Register

Hm, same monthly price as AntStream. Which would be more entertaining? 

 

I've already got access to the New York Times archives, and this story from March 9, 1986 seems like something that a few of the regulars around here might have said. Yesterday. <Old man yells at cloud.>

 

Quote

THE computer, the simplifier of 20th-century living, has affected our lives in many far-reaching ways.

 

Computers are supposedly responsible for making our lives easier, but I'm certain that many of us are probably wondering when that ease will make itself apparent.

I wonder if our creditors, whose bills seem to arrive more promptly than before in easy-to-read, but no less confusing, computerized statements are the only ones profiting by the advance of technology. If you owe someone money, rest assured his computer will never forget your address or allow the paperwork to fall behind a filing cabinet.

 

Computers are also making us much more accountable for our deeds. Whenever the voluminous phone bill arrives - itemized, computerized, everythingized - my wife can leaf through the data, examining every call I made - every number, every area code -and grill me about each one: ''Who did you call in Chicago for 17 minutes, 37 seconds on Jan. 10 at 4:15 P.M.?''

The only thing the bill does not tell her is whether I dialed the phone with my finger or the tip of a ball-point pen.

 

And computers have made us immediate suspects every time we make a purchase using our plastic money. The cashier in a department store, whose career ambition must be to work as a customs' agent in a Communist-bloc country, will glare at you ominously and mutter, ''Well, let's see what we've got on you,'' before punching your credit-card number into the computerized register.

 

Now the waiting begins - and the wondering. Are they summoning up information about how I cheated on a third-grade math test? Has my wife been supplying information about my phone excesses? Then that contraption snaps you out of your daze with whistles, bells, a few burps and sending the highly conscientious cashier scurrying for the floor manager.

 

I have always preferred that old, rumpled book they keep in the drawer at the checkout counter with all the numbers of lost or stolen credit cards. It was a treat watching the part-time high-school help, the kid who failed arithmetic last term, wrestle with that maze of numbers, eventually giving up, wrapping your purchase and saying with a smile, ''Have a nice day.''

I wonder sometimes if computers are programmed to work only when it is advantageous for the credit companies. Have you ever noticed how the plastic purchase you made at the bookstore last night just before closing will show up on the itemized bill in the morning mail while the check you sent three weeks ago, which has already cleared your account, still does not register?

 

 

 

But most annoying are the personalized letters that pop out of a computer, trying to sell you anything and everything:

''Dear Mr. Joseph Palladino. Hello Joseph. How are you doing today Joseph. You know Joseph, this is a unique opportunity to purchase light bulbs that are guaranteed to last your lifetime, and the lifetime of the Joseph Palladino children. Now Joseph, wouldn't the Palladino home be better off with a supply of bulbs like these? And you know Joseph, I know you use light bulbs because I never catch you, Joseph, in the dark.''

 

The only person I know who calls me Joseph is my mother, and she has not tried to sell me anything in years, so the letter cannot be from her.

My first real experience with computers came in high school, when taking S.A.T. exams in the early 70's. Remember filling in your answer sheets by marking one of the multiple-choice spaces?

 

''Make sure you mark your answer very dark or else the computer will not be able to efficiently score your test.'' A computer is correcting my test? ''And if you make an error, be sure to completely erase your mark, or else the computer might register that incorrect answer.'' So that's why I never got into Harvard. But that is all behind the Palladino family now. We have cast off the shackles binding us to the dark ages and entered the 21st century with one eventful leap - we have purchased a personal computer, or, as it is affectionately known in our little circle, the personal confuser.

 

Word processing will be one of the major tasks performed by the confuser, but with two young children, educational software that will greatly enhance their computer literacy will be heartily employed. We hope to find a fast number of applications for the home, like finances, for instance.

It has taken my wife about 10 years to help me understand a checkbook, and as I see it, in about 11 years, I should figure out how to get the confuser to do it.

In researching this purchase, I went from being one who believed that computers were powered by an omnipotent universal force that dredged up information from a mysterious vapor cloud only a wizard could conjure to Mr. Software Sophisticate. Actually, I have learned a bit (pun intended) since I started, and can say confidently that my original theory may not be far from wrong.

 

The family has settled comfortably into our new computerized life, but I was amazed to discover how many people had computers that turned out to be nothing more than high-tech paperweights. Or were gathering dust in a forgotten corner of the attic, waiting to be summoned by a black-hatted sorcerer, or maybe Rod Serling.

 

While business applications of the confusers are too numerous for my brain to comprehend, the home is not always as accommodating to technological advances of this sort. Unless, of course, you have an industrious brain and all the time in the world to sit and doodle with this new toy.

 

I have friends who have committed all their books to the memory bank of a floppy disk. The demonstration of this accomplishment is always an amusing spectacle. ''And see, I just press this key and voila, there is every Stephen King novel I own, whether hard-cover or paperback - right there on the screen.''

 

''But can't you just turn around and see the books on your shelf?''

''Well sure, but I . . . um . . . you see . . .''

 

This logic is lost on the children of the confuser age, but not on me. I will not use my home confuser to keep track of mayonnaise jars or shoelaces.

When my wife calls home just before leaving work, cheerfully asking ''Do we need anything at the grocery store?'' I dash to the confuser, punch in the appropriate information and patiently wait for nature to take its course.

 

''Yes dear, we've only got one egg left, can you bring home a dozen?''

 

[Shaggy the Atarian]

RE: Sega, they still do arcade hardware, although it was fun for a while when I'd see a guy proclaiming that the PC used in the arcade machines would be the next Dreamcast. Sega's a great example of how difficult - and expensive - it is to make a console a success. Of their most recent shooter, I enjoyed Mission: Impossible Arcade, although it's incomplete (will be finished by next March, just in time for the blip of the VCS to maybe happen):

 

 

Fun fact: A single brand new arcade game costs around $3-4 million to develop (per Eugene Jarvis from a couple of different times that I asked him about how much one of these things cost to make). More to manufacture and market, which is where a lot of cost comes into play.

 

 

Edited December 16, 2019 by Shaggy the Atarian

[keithbk]

Okay, I cannot help myself here... excuse me while I...

 

[rant ON]

What the heck is up with the Atari Swordquest series? Who thought these games would be FUN? What were they thinking????

[rant OFF]

 

I appreciate you indulging me... every once in a while, it's like tourettes or something.

[roots.genoa]

I was too lazy to read Jessie Scroggins' verbal diarrhea at first, and just saw he wrote that he was confident Atari could make a better Breakout than the one on Amico, one "that makes Jobs proud".

? Steve Bristow must be rolling in his grave. Again.

[+frankodragon]

3 hours ago, MrMaddog said:

If that's how the Atari VCS Community on social media is like, then they can have it!  It's the perfect UNconsole for any Idiotocracy...

 

 

 

"Shut up, I'm streaming on E-TAR-E!!!"

"Art off. Okay, I want channels 18, 24, 63, 109, 87 and the Weather Channel."

 

 

[Battlefish]

17 hours ago, Matt_B said:

For the next trick, try naming your top ten Atari published games from the past six years. Can you even get to three without including re-releases?

 

We're somehow expected to believe that this thing is going to have exclusive games. On that track record, it ain't going to happen.

Hmm....How about that Centipede game by WayForward? No, that was from 2011.

 

Well, shoot.

[jaybird3rd]

1 hour ago, keithbk said:

[rant ON]

What the heck is up with the Atari Swordquest series? Who thought these games would be FUN? What were they thinking????

[rant OFF]

If ever there was a vintage video game (or game series) that needs and deserves a remake, it is the SwordQuest series.  The concept was intriguing, but the original 2600 games never lived up to its potential.  There are any number of directions that could be taken with it; for example, one could make each of the four new SwordQuest games in a different genre to differentiate them, while also making them episodes of a larger story.  (A hack-and-slash dungeon crawler, perhaps pattered after Gauntlet Legends, would be a good fit for the SwordQuest theme, so maybe that could be one of the episodes.)  The puzzle-solving aspect of the original games can be done in much more interesting ways now, and there is even an almost-complete comic book series that can be brought back exactly as it is for ancillary marketing; just commission a new AirWorld comic from DC to finish the series.

 

This is the kind of thing that "Atari" would try if they had any imagination, any real appreciation for their history and back catalog, and any real passion for games.  Instead, they chose to take the brain-dead and lazy route, licensing the logo on T-shirts and repeatedly recycling the old 2600 and arcade library.  This misguided and misbegotten "that Ataribox?" is only their latest iniquity.

[+frankodragon]

There has been a recent update in the Atari vs Target case.  Target gets a Dismiss and Transfer after December 24, 2019.  

 

https://www.pacermonitor.com/public/case/27754525/Atari_Interactive,_Inc_v_Target_Corporation

[Shaggy the Atarian]

55 minutes ago, jaybird3rd said:

If ever there was a vintage video game (or game series) that needs and deserves a remake, it is the SwordQuest series.  The concept was intriguing, but the original 2600 games never lived up to its potential.  There are any number of directions that could be taken with it; for example, one could make each of the four new SwordQuest games in a different genre to differentiate them, while also making them episodes of a larger story.  (A hack-and-slash dungeon crawler, perhaps pattered after Gauntlet Legends, would be a good fit for the SwordQuest theme, so maybe that could be one of the episodes.)  The puzzle-solving aspect of the original games can be done in much more interesting ways now, and there is even an almost-complete comic book series that can be brought back exactly as it is for ancillary marketing; just commission a new AirWorld comic from DC to finish the series.

 

This is the kind of thing that "Atari" would try if they had any imagination, any real appreciation for their history and back catalog, and any real passion for games.  Instead, they chose to take the brain-dead and lazy route, licensing the logo on T-shirts and repeatedly recycling the old 2600 and arcade library.  This misguided and misbegotten "that Ataribox?" is only their latest iniquity.

The comic books in particular could have fleshed out the SQ idea on more powerful hardware (ST, 7800 or Jag, if talking about BITD). I also thought it bizarre that Atari Karts used generic themed tracks instead of doing them all around existing Atari properties. A Swordquest Earth/Fire/Water/Air course (maybe have it randomly select which element the theme would be every time you play) could have been pretty cool. 

 

SQ today could be a very interesting adventure game, following the story of the comic books that wouldn't be difficult to expand on. I like the idea of a Gauntlet style game for it; if you were angling to compete in the Zelda-style adventure space, you could play as Tor or Tarra, and since they were roof-hopping thieves, you could incorporate certain elements of Thief or Assassin's Creed to spice things up. But as you mention, you need someone with a vision and imagination for that to happen, and Atari's vision is only the quickest way to ? and their imagination only seems to entail what a nice retirement on the Maldives would be like.

Edited December 16, 2019 by Shaggy the Atarian

[OCAT]

The dead spider I found inside my Atari 5200

Will there be a funeral for the spider? will the catering serve Tacos? o.o-3)(

Oh yea and Atari VCS VS new systems is like comparing a Taco to Surstromming... Some people might go for rotten fish but...

[CPUWIZ]

7 hours ago, MrBeefy said:

Sounds jealous that their system is going to lose to a family friendly mobile system.

 

Stop projecting and eat a taco Scroggins.

 

Wow, that guy is strange.  Good thing I had 4 tacos last night.

[Flojomojo]

57 minutes ago, frankodragon said:

There has been a recent update in the Atari vs Target case.  Target gets a Dismiss and Transfer after December 24, 2019.  

 

https://www.pacermonitor.com/public/case/27754525/Atari_Interactive,_Inc_v_Target_Corporation

They're moving the case to Minnesota, which is where Target said it should have been all along. It's going to cost "Atari" more to chase this down and it will be a lot more convenient for Target's witnesses. I don't know anything about this kind of lawsuit but I'm getting a feeling "Atari" is gonna wish they never started this fight. 

Quote

As a preliminary matter, Defendant has demonstrated that this case could have been brought in the District of Minnesota. Defendant is subject to personal jurisdiction in Minnesota because it is incorporated and has its principal place of business in Minnesota and Atari does not contest that the case could have been brought that district. Additionally, Target filed the instant motion to transfer very early in this case, as it did when Atari filed in California, less than one month after Atari filed its Complaint, and very little has happened during litigation in this District.

Here's the 14 page document. Atari v Target motion to transfer.pdf

 

Unfortunately there's nothing in there about Target's other counter-complaint, which was that "Atari" failed to substantiate that they actually own the Pong trademark. That's where it's really going to be interesting, with possible long-term ramifications for the house that Fred built scraps of an old bankrupt brand that Fred found lying in the gutter. 

[dj_convoy]

3 hours ago, Shaggy the Atarian said:

RE: Sega, they still do arcade hardware, although it was fun for a while when I'd see a guy proclaiming that the PC used in the arcade machines would be the next Dreamcast. Sega's a great example of how difficult - and expensive - it is to make a console a success.  

 

 

Over and over when that one guy in particular who kept blithering on about the SEGA Ringedge arcade board, mindlessly regurgitating the stats and the SEGA "Orbi" because he saw a trademark application for same kept spamming SEGA sites about it. He was behind much of that Dreamcast 2 kerfuffle awhile back where idiots thought that putting their names on a petition would somehow magically make SEGA return to the home console market.

 

All I want out of SEGA these days is for them to keep licensing games to M2. 

[Flojomojo]

1 hour ago, jaybird3rd said:

This is the kind of thing that "Atari" would try if they had any imagination, any real appreciation for their history and back catalog, and any real passion for games.  Instead, they chose to take the brain-dead and lazy route, licensing the logo on T-shirts and repeatedly recycling the old 2600 and arcade library.  This misguided and misbegotten "that Ataribox?" is only their latest iniquity.

It's crazy they never even bothered to finish the series. They could bung out a mobile game, but as you say, no history or imagination coming from them. 

 

You can see that it was an effort to create some in-house IP, to decrease their reliance on licensing arcade games from outside. There were lots of crossover things like it at the time. Power Lords (with a planned Odyssey 2 game -- oops) comes to mind.

 

The cheezy 1980s art was fun, but the Swordquest concept was really trite, stealing from Tolkien and Shannara and everything else with little of its own. They had the real-world contest, which was like something out of Ready Player One. I'm really surprised they haven't tried to bring that back; it would be a lot more interesting than putting the Star Raiders logo on slot machines. 

 

The comics are online here and they're worthy of marking up and transforming into AtariBox mockery. 

[Shaggy the Atarian]

6 minutes ago, dj_convoy said:

Over and over when that one guy in particular who kept blithering on about the SEGA Ringedge arcade board, mindlessly regurgitating the stats and the SEGA "Orbi" because he saw a trademark application for same kept spamming SEGA sites about it. He was behind much of that Dreamcast 2 kerfuffle awhile back where idiots thought that putting their names on a petition would somehow magically make SEGA return to the home console market.

 

All I want out of SEGA these days is for them to keep licensing games to M2. 

Haha, that's the guy! As I recall, the Orbi turning out to be a virtual zoo or whatever it was was the last we heard from him. I think I laid out a variety of reasons as to why it made no sense for Sega to jump back into the console market then, and applied that to Atari as well. Unless you have some amazing idea for a console that's unique among the existing batch, a crapton of money to develop for and promote it, you're not going to succeed. But some people can't understand that times change and nostalgia is very limited in driving purchases; as time marches on, the size of the market that doesn't have any fond memories of playing games on your branded console increases, making it that much harder to move a game console into successful territory. 

[jaybird3rd]

22 hours ago, Shaggy the Atarian said:

The comic books in particular could have fleshed out the SQ idea on more powerful hardware (ST, 7800 or Jag, if talking about BITD). I also thought it bizarre that Atari Karts used generic themed tracks instead of doing them all around existing Atari properties. A Swordquest Earth/Fire/Water/Air course (maybe have it randomly select which element the theme would be every time you play) could have been pretty cool. 

 

SQ today could be a very interesting adventure game, following the story of the comic books that wouldn't be difficult to expand on. I like the idea of a Gauntlet style game for it; if you were angling to compete in the Zelda-style adventure space, you could play as Tor or Tarra, and since they were roof-hopping thieves, you could incorporate certain elements of Thief or Assassin's Creed to spice things up. But as you mention, you need someone with a vision and imagination for that to happen, and Atari's vision is only the quickest way to ? and their imagination only seems to entail what a nice retirement on the Maldives would be like.

Exactly.  Gauntlet is one potential direction, an Assassin's Creed style game with classic SwordQuest artifact collecting and puzzle-solving would be another, and you could even incorporate a racing element.  Imagine, for example, if SwordQuest Airworld were reconceived as a Mario Kart style racing game, with the players riding flying horses through tracks on the ground and/or through the air.  Take advantage of the episodic structure of the SwordQuest games to experiment with a mix of different genres; if players don't enjoy one, they can find another that they like better, all while staying engaged within the SwordQuest world.

 

There's so much potential, and so many interesting ideas just waiting to be implemented.  But what do we get instead?  A rogues' gallery of trolls and duped Indiegogo backers in denial, pining about how great it would be to be able to play good old Centipede again.  (Never mind the fact that you can already play it in a hundred different ways, all of which make more sense than "that Ataribox?".)  Such a pitiful lack of imagination ... and these are the people who call themselves the "real Atari fans"!

 

21 hours ago, Flojomojo said:

The cheezy 1980s art was fun, but the Swordquest concept was really trite, stealing from Tolkien and Shannara and everything else with little of its own. They had the real-world contest, which was like something out of Ready Player One. I'm really surprised they haven't tried to bring that back; it would be a lot more interesting than putting the Star Raiders logo on slot machines.

Well, sure, SwordQuest is very derivative, but that might actually help to market it to fans of the "Lord of the Rings" movies, or the new Amazon series.  Bringing back the contest in a modern form would be another great idea: online leaderboards, achievements, physical prizes ... lots of interesting potentialities there, too.  But no ... let's just throw the old Atari Vault back in the microwave and serve that up for the hundredth time instead.

[Shaggy the Atarian]

11 minutes ago, Flojomojo said:

The cheezy 1980s art was fun, but the Swordquest concept was really trite, stealing from Tolkien and Shannara and everything else with little of its own. They had the real-world contest, which was like something out of Ready Player One. I'm really surprised they haven't tried to bring that back; it would be a lot more interesting than putting the Star Raiders logo on slot machines. 

 

The comics are online here and they're worthy of marking up and transforming into AtariBox mockery. 

The core of it was "we need a competition," so that is limited, but you could hire a contemporary fantasy writer like Brandon Sanderson to flesh out the universe and then you'd have something with depth. Most fantasy owes a lot to Tolkien anyways, so that's not a big deal, or difficult to overcome. Either way, a lot of 2600 titles could be greatly expanded upon with some effort, but that's not any effort that anyone at Atari wants to pay for.