Ethics: Letting your girlfriend win

[Creamhoven]

Hello fellow fake losers,

 

I recently played Mario Kart with my girlfriend. I'm always trying to play in a way that makes it more likely that she will win, by making it hard for the CPUs and of course letting her get in front of me.

 

At one point I hit the breaks right in front of the finish line to come to a full stop, in order for her to come in first. She was really mad after that, because it was too obvious.

 

Is it okay to be a fake loser? To have mercy and letting your girlfriend win? In a way it is like lying... It is like pulling a trick on someone. Is it okay? Is it ethically excusable?

 

If I were to play at my best I would dominate her with such a harsh authority, that wouldn't be recoverable ever. She would be destroyed to an extend that would flood her face with help-me-someone-tears. I don't think putting her in such a state of distress would be morally right neither.

 

It is a dilemma. There is no easy solution and it is a philosophical question that has occupied my mind for a long time now.

 

Please share your thoughts.

Edited March 6, 2023 by Creamhoven

[CapitanClassic]

It depends upon if you like playing with your girlfriend. When I used to play Mario Kart (SNES) against players with vastly different skill, I would only use weapons to attack CPU players (also makes it easier for human players to place higher). This at least allowed my human opponent to place 2nd if they could drive reasonably well. I would also use characters that weren’t optimal to put myself at the greatest disadvantage.

 

Similarly, when playing Street Fighter II Turbo, I would use characters that I wasn’t the best at, and allowed them to chose their player 2nd (which would lead to interesting bad matchups like Honda v Zangieff or Chun Li v Dhalsim). It definitely made me a better SF2:Turbo player while giving them a fighting chance (also there was the players handicap screen to change power levels).

 

You shouldn’t obliterate your opponent if you want them to play against you later, but you also need to not make it obvious that you are trying to lose. For example, the Ghost House has a small path that it is possible to jump to easily using the feather, but because I was playing against players well below my skill level, I learned you can actually make the jump just by hitting your top speed without even having a feather (makes it easier to lose if you “accidentally“ miss the jump too).
 

Larger Rats only win 70% of the time.

Quote

wrestling, since that's pretty much the pastime of young rats, and bouts would follow the established pattern.

Early on, there's a lot of happy chirping. "They've got these sounds that indicate life is pretty damn swell," says Jaak Panksepp, a psychologist with the University of Washington who specializes in the connections between neuroscience and emotion.

As time wears on, however, the vocalizations gradually change. One of the rats will complain about how the match is going. "Play stops for a while and the animals have to renegotiate," says Panksepp.

 

The chirping duly returns and wrestling resumes until one pins the other.

All things being equal, the larger rat should be able to accomplish this feat at will, but that's not how it happens. Through repeated bouts, the larger one tends to win only 70 per cent of the time.

The interesting part is why.

It's not that the bigger rat is making a conscious decision to let the other rat win from time to time. Instead, he or she is responding to the complaining cries of the smaller rat on an emotional level and making adjustments.

But the result is the same. The smaller rat will stick around and happily initiate more wrestling the next afternoon. He knows he won't be uniformly crushed.

 

Edited March 7, 2023 by CapitanClassic

[Steven Pendleton]

Easy solution: play Metal Slug instead.

[roots.genoa]

That's why I love coop and hate competition in video games. My older brother used to be sore loser (not anymore, far from it actually) and even though he fortunately won most of the time, it wasn't fun at all to play with him. One of my best friend is also (and still is) a very sore loser, so I (discretely) let him win several times by making mistakes willingly, but the problem is he can't help bragging about his win afterwards, so it ends up pissing me off. 😔

[Keatah]

I try to find a way to cooperate by modifying the rules somehow. With Star Raiders for an example, it's easy. You have a Pilot and a WSO. Swap positions every other game. There the Pilot is the commander and issues orders the Weapons Systems Officer. Pilot remains in command of the overall mission.

 

Or you can play with a Pilot and Commander. The Commander is basically the captain and issues all orders, the Pilot just controls the ship with little decision making beyond speed and firing.

 

In games where designating tasks like that isn't practical we play with time limits and handicaps. Like if it's a race game I clearly make it known I'm the superior player, and to even it up I'd start the race late or something like that.

 

Atari VCS had the right idea with the a-b difficulty switches.

[+Gemintronic]

I avoid the whole issue by playing co-op games.  Teamwork makes the dream work.

 

Though, sometimes I get lazy.  In Diablo 3 I equip all thorns gear and let her drag me around whilst daydreaming about programming.

[zylon]

18 hours ago, Creamhoven said:

Hello fellow fake losers,

 

I recently played Mario Kart with my girlfriend. I'm always trying to play in a way that makes it more likely that she will win, by making it hard for the CPUs and of course letting her get in front of me.

 

At one point I hit the breaks right in front of the finish line to come to a full stop, in order for her to come in first. She was really mad after that, because it was too obvious.

 

Is it okay to be a fake loser? To have mercy and letting your girlfriend win? In a way it is like lying... It is like pulling a trick on someone. Is it okay? Is it ethically excusable?

 

If I were to play at my best I would dominate her with such a harsh authority, that wouldn't be recoverable ever. She would be destroyed to an extend that would flood her face with help-me-someone-tears. I don't think putting her in such a state of distress would be morally right neither.

 

It is a dilemma. There is no easy solution and it is a philosophical question that has occupied my mind for a long time now.

 

Please share your thoughts.

works opposite in my world. Guys are only around/interested, if they can "teach" me something. When I outshoot them at the range, they never try again. I keep a couple "less than accurate" pieces around for just such types. It really goes bad when one gets lane next to me, to train wifey, and they end up watching me. Gaming, it depends which end of the mythos strikes you deepest, beating a girl, or being beat by one? Either one is fodder for teasing by peers. I remember Mom playing chess with hubby #2 in the 80's. He figured out that she'd been letting him win, and demanded that she really try. So, the game was on. Mom beat him handily, then he beat her with the chair afterwards. Only way to win, is to not play, or just play with yourself.

[+Gemintronic]

In a healthy relationship it's not about ego.  I've seen both men and women make gaming too much about competition.

 

For me it's about finding ways to not put myself in a position to dumb down my skills while she gets her footing.  Sometimes this means switching off between levels so we get equal play time.  Sometimes it means choosing a game I've never played before so we're on even ground.

 

Cultivating mutual hobbies trumps everything else.

[Mikebloke]

I just play to win, whether its the Wife, Ex Wife, or my kids.

 

Smash them to pieces.

 

I literally have two things I'm good at in this life and handing people's asses to them in games is one of them.

 

There's a reason why nobody plays monopoly with me now, and its a great reason.

 

Ok, mildly joking but also quite serious apart, I do allow others to win in very limited circumstances, like when they could do with a little boost mentally or emotionally. My youngest child is very focused on being able to win against people with far more experience (ie me) despite still being 6. Occasionally I make an effort to not do as well as I normally do, but he's getting to the point where I don't have to do this often, or as obviously.

[CapitanClassic]

[Flojomojo]

On 3/7/2023 at 1:53 PM, Gemintronic said:

In a healthy relationship it's not about ego.  I've seen both men and women make gaming too much about competition.

 

For me it's about finding ways to not put myself in a position to dumb down my skills while she gets her footing.  Sometimes this means switching off between levels so we get equal play time.  Sometimes it means choosing a game I've never played before so we're on even ground.

 

Cultivating mutual hobbies trumps everything else.

I like this answer best. It's not about ethics, it's about respect and communication. Someone who flips out over Mario Kart isn't someone I'd want to be with, unless the person is also willing to go to couples therapy and work out these issues. 

 

Alternatively, DTMFA.

[Keatah]

40 minutes ago, Flojomojo said:

Alternatively, DTMFA.

I thought that meant Do The Math Fat Ass!

[Keatah]

At least we get 5 seconds of blissful silence at the end.

 

 

[Flojomojo]

Haha that was a trend or something for a while ... staged videos where dad is punishing the kid by selling/dropping/blowing up the playstation

At 1:19 you can see how she pulls out the prop 360 which isn't connected at all. A real game console needs video and power at least, and the AV cable on that machine was a big connector that wouldn't just pop off. 

Cute performance though, I guess, if maybe a bit sexist. Ahh, "gamers." 

[Lord Mushroom]

I don´t even like playing one on one with friends who are good losers. I don´t want to lose, and I don´t want to make them lose. So it is a lose-lose situation. I don´t mind competing when we are more than two people, because then the losers can share their pain. Co-op is the way to go. 

 

Racing games can usually be played as co-op games too. You try not to sabotage for each other, and only attack AI, in order to maximize chances of advancing to the next level. Still, there will always be a competitive side to racing games.

 

Play Bubble Bobble and Toejam & Earl instead.

[Keatah]

2 hours ago, Flojomojo said:

Haha that was a trend or something for a while ... staged videos where dad is punishing the kid by selling/dropping/blowing up the playstation

I used to think that smashing consoles was the epitome of sophisticated young-adult rebellion and toughness. Once you've done that you've achieved the next level, whatever it is.

[Reaperman]

The wife and I rarely play video games together, but when we do, it's exclusively games I don't play on my own, so I don't 'get too gud' at them. Last time we played, was a year ago playing Photo y2k2 on (this) video. (I've age restricted it due to 'adult' theme so it can't be embedded) 

 

Most of the games we play are arcade puzzlers, which are pretty easy to resist playing on my own.

Our favorites are: puzzle bobble(mvs), puzzle de pon!(mvs), magical drop III(mvs)and these photo y2k games(pgm)

 

This genre of games is really best played 2-player. Single player ai has too much skill, and it's more fun for two noobs to bumble around combating each other.  But neither of us hold back, and in that video, I give her an absolute shellacking with a "super secret trick," that we both know, but she refuses to do because she says her face might 'stick that way.' 😁

But honestly on puzzle bobble and puzzle de pon! she really has the edge.

Edited March 10, 2023 by Reaperman

[Creamhoven]

Thank you for your exquisite answers!

 

@capitainclassic

Yes, obvious fake loosing comes at a high cost. You advice is helpful and I will try handicapping myself in the future. When it comes to my girlfriend, I would still destroy her (in gaming of course) because she just doesnt play videogames in general. She is more on the emotional side, and if she wins she is really happy about it. Since I want to make her more sympathetic to my passion of classic gaming, I want her to have a good time.

 

@Steven Pendleton

Metal Slug is one of the best looking 2D games series ever. Maybe it is to tough for her though.

 

@roots.genoa

Maybe you can teach him to be a better looser by completly destroying him (in gaming of course).

 

@zylon

I think beating up your opponent for real when loosing in gaming is very bad look.

 

@Gemintronic

For me it is to show others the qualities of gaming, since it is still not universally accepted as a legit hobby. There are quite alot of people that strongly feel, that it is a stain on your personhood if you enjoy gaming, like you are a heavy drinker. This is persecution. These people don't want me to exist, just because retro gaming is my passion.

 

@Mikebloke

Sometimes you just have to dominate. What are your monopoly tips (i thought it is heavily luck based)?

 

@Flojomojo

For me it is about countering the hate against gaming and showing others the beauty of it. I thing that local multiplayer is the best gaming experience you can have, especially for people new to the medium.

 

Thanks for all the ideas!

[Steven Pendleton]

Don't forget to play Out Zone after you play Metal Slug! It has everything you ever need and it's actually very easy, at least for an arcade game.

 

Just don't play the Steam/GOG releases right now because they... well, they have very many problems right now.

[Creamhoven]

46 minutes ago, Steven Pendleton said:

Don't forget to play Out Zone after you play Metal Slug! It has everything you ever need and it's actually very easy, at least for an arcade game.

Okay

 

[Leatherrebel5150]

The best games for this scenario are ones where you can set difficulty levels independently. For example Dr. Mario. I can jack up the speed/ level on my side of the screen while the GF keeps hers lower. It’s still head to head competitive but accounts for the difference in skill

[Creamhoven]

On 3/11/2023 at 3:34 PM, Leatherrebel5150 said:

The best games for this scenario are ones where you can set difficulty levels independently. For example Dr. Mario. I can jack up the speed/ level on my side of the screen while the GF keeps hers lower. It’s still head to head competitive but accounts for the difference in skill

Great idea! I am a beast at Dr Mario.

[Mikebloke]

On 3/10/2023 at 12:47 PM, Creamhoven said:

 

 

@Mikebloke

Sometimes you just have to dominate. What are your monopoly tips (i thought it is heavily luck based)?

Always be banker, always buy property, always put houses / hotels down when you can, always push other players for property sales that benefit you. Although it is a dice based game, 'domination' works here too because its also a social game. 

[Cyberfriend]

I don't have a girlfriend

[Ross PK]

Just tell her something like 'Okay I'm going to play the game with just one hand to give you a chance' and then do so. That way you're not fooling her and you're not dominating her either, and she may find it amusing.