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The Official Atari Age Secret Santa 2019 thread


Grig

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I look forward to AASS every year! I even wrote a little jingle that we traditionally sing around the yule log.

 

Sung to the tune of London Bridge is Falling Down....

 

"AASS comes but once a year, now it's here, now it's here! AASS comes but once a year...Silver Shamrock."

 

*bows*

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Today in Christmas Cinema I thought it would be fun to review a holiday movie based on a favorite childhood computer game:

 

ElfBowling.jpg.965fc14213038b9a0b5ae0876009a08e.jpg

 

I give it...



Three lumps of coal. This film is fairly naughty.

3_lumps.thumb.png.1bd1919f03607c94f0f2cd653885d541.png

When I saw they made a movie based on this game I figured it's a must watch. Probably the most redeeming part of the film is they maintained the crude childish potty humor I remember the game having. The animation is surprisingly decent as well. The movement of the characters is fluid and each character has a unique dance that doesn't seem to rip off Charlie Brown.

 

The story line is pretty farfetched. Santa Maria Clausowitz Kringle and his brother Dingle Kringle are pirates who steal toys and sell them to old grannies. They get cast into the sea for cheating at bowling, freeze into blocks of ice, and float to the North Pole where they are thawed out by elves. The elves see Santa as the prophetic "White Beard" and make a deal with him to distribute the toys they've been making (they've been making toys for the purpose of storing them in a mountain until this point). 1400 years pass and Santa Claus is a changed man but his brother isnt. At this point Santa kicks his brother out of the house and I fall asleep. When I woke up Dingle had somehow trapped Santa in a block of ice and convinced the elves to take a plane to Fiji. Once there Dingle hypnotizes the elves and builds a sweat shop so they can make toys and charge the children of the world at 300% mark-up for them. Santa's wife Grizelda frees him and informs him of Dingles wrong-doing. He then goes to Fiji and "saves the day" because his brother got caught cheating in a game of elf bowling (again).

 

 

Favorite Part: "Oh, and before I retire to count my booty I retain a question for yas... Who pooped in the peanut barrel!?" -Santa

 

Least Favorite Part: Probably the song endorsing slave labor. I'm no PC agent but I found this rather crass.

 

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1 hour ago, emerson said:

Today in Christmas Cinema I thought it would be fun to review a holiday movie based on a favorite childhood computer game:

 

ElfBowling.jpg.965fc14213038b9a0b5ae0876009a08e.jpg

 

Elf Bowling!?!??

Wasn't that the game generally considered to be the worst ever released on the Nintendo DS and one of the worst games ever (average review score of 12.25% https://www.gamerankings.com/ds/930384-elf-bowling-1-and-2/index.html !)? 

I had no idea there was a movie tie-in. Now I have to watch this!! :P 

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Yow! The anticipation of Secret Santa distribution is got me on pins and needles like a kid waiting for sunrise on Christmas morning.

 

I thought I'd channel a little of that energy especially since it was a slow closing at work tonight.

 

So... Here's a list of Christmas games that I wish I could play, but can't because they don't exist. I thought I should share so we could all play them at least, in our dreams...

 

1. Sinistar of Bethlehem

2. Little Defender Boy, The

3. Star Wars: Life Day

4. Tron Saves Christmas

5. Jingle Joust

6. Sim Office Christmas Party

7. Chase the Santawagon

8. Yuletide Tempest

9. Kid Nikilas Radical Santa

10. Santa Mangia

 

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