Artie the Atari - the (in)complete index
As Artie the Atari grinds its way towards its 150th episode, I decided to put an index together of all of the episodes to date. Someday, I'd like to annotate and collect them all into a PDF or iBook, but that may have to wait until episode 300.
(Note: since writing that I've gone well past the 300th episode. Still thinking "someday" for the book. )
I'll periodically update the index as new episodes are added.
2007
The first strips! Artie's flickering Adventure:
Stripping (includes links to "Carl Wonders" comic strip, from Pitfall Harry's Contest of Doom)
Artie's Adventure... continued
When Artie flickers, it hertz
Is this the end of Artie?
Occam's (or Artie's) Razor
Darth's first appearance:
Use The Force, Artie! (first appearance of large TV)
Marty (the Intellivision) is introduced:
Introducing... Marty!
Bring on the lists!
Videogame halitosis?
Marty disses Atari!
Maybe a Vectrex would have been funnier
Artie returns from A/V mod surgery:
Artie returns (first appearance of stereo TV)
More surgical high jinks
Technically, it's a silicon implant
No playing Decathlon for two weeks
DVI just isn't sexy anymore
Pimp my 2600
Not an actual episode:
Brog Bloken
Artie previews The Last Ninja and N.E.R.D.S:
Pre-review
2008
Artie has a breakdown:
Based on a true story! (first use of new artwork)
Darth fills in while Artie is out for yet-more-surgery:
Remember when Darth Vader was still cool? (Darth officially introduced)
Technically, it was a hex buffer
I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan...
So this Bantha walks into a bar...
Artie returns from a hex buffer transplant:
Back in the saddle again
0100000101110010011101000110100101100101
I cut my finger in the 5th grade
Not for the squeamish
Actionauts!
Happy March 32nd!
Mr. Generous
Mr. Analogy
4K game
No offense intended
Making amends
Artie dabbles in PAL and SECAM:
Off-color humor (first use of color)
Introducing: Artie's pal
Taste the rainbow
Cybergoth leaves the 2600 for a young hussy:
Breaking up is hard TODO
Arthur (the 7800) is introduced:
7800 is the loneliest number
I always found counting tedious, anyway
Well, there was Food Fight...
Rollin' Along (color strips begin)
2009
Another non-episode:
Announcing... The Countdown!
"Sweeps week":
"Sweeps week" begins!
She's quite Sharp (Anna (the TV) officially introduced)
What would George Plimpton say?
He plays 7800 and 2600 games
7800 - 5200 ≠ 2600
"Sweeps week" redux (first appearance of Artie Jr.)
AT860634734 was too hard to pronounce (Artie Jr. introduced)
Just like Cousin Oliver
Artie's 50th episode!
The inevitable reference
There's only one way it can end! (first Sunday format strip, first appearance of Marty Jr. (Coleco Electronic Quarterback) and Arnie (Atari 5200))
The end of analog TV broadcasts:
Artie presents: Anna Log
Behind the scenes:
Behind the scenes!
Episode 0 (includes pre-Artie strip from 1999)
Take that, George Plimpton!
Fake burled wood looks cooler anyway (first Sears Tele-Games appearance)
2010
Air Raid sells on eBay:
Tuesday Morning
Men-Of-Vision?
2600 + 29000
Maybe it would've worked for Actionauts...
Or maybe not...
Just being helpful
Dissing the Atari 5200:
Two-for-one
No 'Vision
The good ol' days
Nolan Bushnell returns to Atari:
Unca' Nolan
Or holiday dinners...
Or maybe a fruitcake...
See how neatly it all ties together?
Don't forget "magical"... (Atari 26,000 (iPad) introduced)
One-shot episodes:
When artwork sneezes (playing with vector artwork)
It's all the rage! (Artie destroys a rare cartridge)
2011
The Empire Strikes Out (Darth in Tron cosplay, strip artwork migrated to Adobe Illustrator)
My real-world 2600 dies:
Funeral for a friend
One last cheap shot...
Probably not contagious...
A fate worse than death?
So much for mourning
Things will never be the same...
Things will never be the same again...
Evil Artie (Sears Tele-Games) is introduced:
It's alive!
Post-modern Prometheus
Probably steals Intellivisions' lunch money
Nothing if not topical (first mention of Atari cease and desist letters)
Take my Intellivision, please! (first Star Castle mention)
You have to start somewhere
Snidely would be proud (first appearance of Commodore monitor, Sharp TV and heavy sixer)
Atari sends out cease and desist letters:
Next up: Magnavox
Just like Mike Tyson
With apologies to Berke Breathed
Countdown to the 100th episode spectacular (consoles mysteriously disappear):
Something to look forward to, after the apocalypse
Still bitter over that "Star Strike" commercial
Quadruple Dunk
Now you'll have to go back and re-read them all (Arnie officially introduced, first appearance of tiny TV)
Sensing a pattern yet? (first appearance of console TV)
Or maybe another Intellivision
George never did explain that
Episode 99 (in case you weren't counting)
(Insert stupid sixth anniversary here) (100th episode, Sunday format, first appearance of zombie E.T. cartridges)
Boulder Dash is finally released:
Mr. Optimist
Mr. Helpful
Mr. L33t Gamer
Special Limited Edition Artie the Atari:
Limited Edition!
Pre-order!
Boxed!
Shipping!
Special Christmas episode featuring the entire cast (first appearance of the AtariVox):
From all of us! (Sunday format)
2012
Star Castle:
Kickstarted
A place for everything, and everything in its place
Flash to substance ratio
Birds of a feather
Those E.T. labels are just too hard to peel off
Marketing 101
Spending $50...
Overpriced Cheap Shot
Red Sea Crossing discovered:
Red Herring
Some reassurance about E.T.
Rush out and buy 'em up now!
Charlatan!
Coda
Meanwhile, back in Moab...
Air Raid revisited:
Sage advice
The compleat collector
Maybe "Rip Off"?
2013
Sonny (PlayStation 3) is introduced (first appearance of HDTV):
The n00b
Cassettes were faster
Fingerprints notwithstanding
Only 3 1/2 hours to go!
Not sufficiently beta-tested
But at least it's in HD
Atari's (latest) bankruptcy:
Atari's next chapter (that would be 11)
Mmmm... fruit-flavored!
I'd gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today
Link (Atari Lynx) is introduced:
A Handy thing to have
Linked In
Maybe this is why Gary Larson did it in one
Portability, schmortability
So close to the finish line, too...
PS4 vs. XBox One:
He still has some pride, ya' know
Besides, we haven't added a ColecoVision yet
Sounds like a class action lawsuit to me
More waffling than an Eggo factory
But at least they're complete (first (and probably only) appearance of XBox One)
Boxed games:
Thinking outside the box
Thinking inside the box
Take that, Kickstarter
Putting that "Word of the Day" calendar to good use
Only 40% sawdust by weight
The Lost Episodes:
Artie the Atari - The Lost Episodes (Episode 150)
Rule #2: Double Tap
Too much information
I'm lazy like that, yo
Princess Rescue's (un)limited edition:
What would we do without it?
An exclusive club, indeed
It's win-win!
After all, we wouldn't want to make anyone upset
Two birds, one stone
Nintendo puts an end to Princess Rescue:
Hey, it happened to Sega
Voice of experience
Voice of reason
Every cloud has a silver label
2014
Nintendwoes:
Maybe that's their whole problem, right there
Historical perspective
Biting the hand
Now they know how it feels
Anything would've been an improvement
IMDb it
He could share a room with the Pippin
The E.T. landfill dig and auctions:
Low-hanging fruit
New old stock
Or Hunt & Score?
Concrete not included
Because it's easier than making a new one:
Christmas Special rerun
2015
My real-world 2600 returns:
How soon they forget...
It's probably better not to ask
Not sure that was the reason... but whatever
Austin, probably
Easiest strip to write, ever
Remembering Radio Shack:
Twenty-five, if we were to be honest (Andy (Tandyvision One) is introduced)
And occasionally, the "Radio" part too
They can take a number
Or a crappy pair of walkie-talkies
Yeah, him and the Channel F
Plus, he has more fake woodgrain
"Classic" Artie episodes from 1982:
Back in time...
Edutainmental
Haute cuisine
Or maybe "A Flock of Seagulls"
Nobody ever said he was an archaeologist
"Classic" Artie episodes from 1984:
Or one Mythicon game
Or in the sock drawer?
Can't drive to Toys 'R' Us
Take that, George Plimpton (again)!
Penultimatum
Present-day Artie time-travels back to 1984:
Not that kind of Atari Flashback
Probably shouldn't mention Infogrames
You can't have everything
Can a callback to a future joke create a time paradox?
Everyone's a critic
Two hundred episodes! (Artie's 200th episode - Sunday format, first mention of Vectrex)
Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K (Artie's 201st episode)
Exclusive interview with the Retro VGS:
Artie goes Retro (first non-appearance of the Retro VGS)
Maybe the Pippin wasn't available
Where are Atari's lawyers when you really need them?
The race is on!
And none of that pesky "portability" either
Sign him up!
Don't forget "Skeet Shoot"
Woita minute...
Another fine MESS you've gotten us into
Dissension in the ranks
Intellectual property
Rock and Roll all night, party every day
I'm sure he'll be just fine
Probably can't count to 1,950,000 either
It's base 32,768
Singin' them Bondi Blues™
Making the Ouya look good
Flush with success
Return of the RetroVGS Coleco Chameleon:
Those wacky RetroVGS funsters are at it again!
2016
Truth is stranger than fiction
Pre-Toy Fair interview with the Coleco Chameleon:
And Fairchild was too expensive (first non-appearance of the Coleco Chameleon)
I'd probably buy a coffee mug
Or maybe he's a Herbie Hancock fan
Everything old is old again
Or maybe Alphabet Zoo?
Probably not internationally sanctioned (two episodes!)
Roll With The Flow
Tools of the trade
Your Freudian slip is showing
Late to the party
He likes games with "blocky" graphics
Leveraging the Jaguar's design aesthetic
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain
It's all about transparency (first full-page Sunday format strip)
The Nintendo Switch:
One step forward, two steps back
The proverbial bad penny
Hint: Search for "Gamevice"
Sure... but can you hook up a Power Glove to it?
Or an optional sun visor
The NES Classic:
Get out the ban hammer
You're lucky they made any
Make room, Alamogordo
Nintendoes what Atari did
And 6's... and 5's... and 4's...
Enter - The Flashback:
Still no love for Pac-Man (first appearance of Atari Flashback)
They might be funnier that way
No animosity there at all
Bad Flashback (250th episode)
This is why this isn’t a daily strip
And whatever else was cheap
He ain’t heavy-sixer
Now he’s in trouble
Well, at least it wasn’t Morris Albert
This was pretty-much inevitable (first appearance of Vectrex)
2017
The NES Classic gets Switched:
Poetry Corner
The camera adds ten pounds
The myth and the legend
Separated at birth
Switched at birth
Or just buy a Lynx
Coleco vs. Everybody:
You learn something new every day
A bastion of integrity
Because cartridges
Way ahead of its time (first appearance of ColecoVision and groovy 70's TV)
Radio Shack started the same way
It’d look good on a coffee mug
Especially the sesame seed buns
It’s a hard-knock life
Don’t forget to tip the driver
Maybe if we bought a Channel F
New Kids on the Block - the AtariBox and RetroN 77:
So much for that trip to the beach
The big rebeal
I must’ve missed the first time
The more things change... (RetroVGS stands in for the RetroN 77)
Trying to work a diphthong into the strip
We thank you for your support
Maybe Strawberry Shortcake Musical Match-ups?
Segue
If it was a lunchbox, I’d buy one (RetroVGS stands in for the AtariBox)
There is another system
And the logo lights up!
At least it’s green
Gotta pay for it somehow
Road trip!
Wasn’t he a McDonaldland character?
A hallmark of quality
Still bitter they sold off Battlezone
The SNES Classic (and more Ataribox):
Understanding the target demographic
Marketing strategy
Toys 'Rn't' Us:
Buyer’s remorse
Or anything with "Coleco" on it
The Ataribox literally goes the way of the Chameleon:
What...? Did something else happen?
Typecasting
Proto-typical
In time for Toy Fair, probably
2018
CPU Meltdown:
Hacks
And other sentences nobody has ever said
Artie turns 300, 10 and 40:
Maximum effort (Artie's 300th episode)
Or maybe “Ten Years and Only One Drawing”
And 15% off at Denny's
Tool-assisted speed-reading
RollerCoaster Buffoon:
RollerCoaster... of Love (say what?!)
How about The Last Ninja?
It’s lonely at the top
He can pick up some copier toner
Interactive entertainment
Todd "Mr. Activision" Rogers:
Simple as that
It's all relative
Proof positive (first appearance of Todd's four-switch woody)
Maybe a SuperCharger would’ve helped
The "Atari Token":
Time to bring back the hot tub parties
Go with your strengths
The Ataribox gets renamed and has its own "Toy Fair moment" at GDC:
Aren’t we already?
Wrong on so many levels
Only eleven more months until Toy Fair
A Sharpie would probably do
It has more street cred
The RetroN 77 pre-announces its pre-order announcement:
Moonlighting
Billy Mitchell - the man, the mullet, the necktie:
Close enough
RollerCoaster Tycoon - the end of the ride:
Failure is just so boring
The Ataribox gets funded:
Antici... pation
Ticket To Ride
Intellivision gets into the act with its own revival console:
It either would or wouldn’t have George Plimpton in it
The RetroN 77 actually ships:
Just trying to make him feel better
Drawing conclusions (first actual appearance of the RetroN 77)
Try jiggling the cartridge
This explains a lot
tniop a sah eH
Flip flop and ya’ don’t stop
2019
The 2018 Atari Awards:
Star Wars lost “Best Picture” to Annie Hall, too
Crowded field
Fumble brag
The Ataribox gets an update!
Haters gonna hate
Baby steps
Kaizen, I suppose
Maybe K-Mart
The Google Stadia:
I already know I’m not going to buy one
Part 1 of 2
Part 2 of 1
The CollectorVision Phoenix:
Actually they do, just really slowly
Maybe it includes a free 65” HDTV in every box
Exclusive interview with the Intellivision Amico:
Double A (beep beep) M C O
Knock out the fat! (first appearance of George)
The Le Stick was ahead of its time
Semantics
And Adam Sessler was too expensive
A styrofoam take-out container would’ve also been acceptable
It’s still better than an Ataribox (first appearance of Inty, and Artie's 350th episode)
2020
The new reality:
This doesn’t bode well for the AtariVox
That’s okay, nobody can read it anyway
Not to mention greasy fingerprints
Strip fatigue
At least they're only checking foreheads at work
The Ataribox finally ships:
I’ll believe it when I don’t see it
Pretty sure that wasn’t one of the Magic 8-Ball's answers
Or a used PlayStation 3 and twenty free pizzas
Christmas Spectacular – The Twelve Days of Christmas (note: not actually twelve episodes):
At least it wasn't "Jingle Bells"
2021
New Atari console that Ataribox?
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Clickbait (first appearance of Tiny Artie)
The Audacity of some people:
From the makers of Laser Blast and Space Jockey
Artie's 365th episode (one year's worth):
2022
Big game acquisitions:
Moron the Amico (sorry, that should've read "More on the Amico"):
Would you like fries with that?
Well, there’s always the Taito WoWoW
We couldn’t make this stuff up
I wonder if they have color TVs?
Atari collectibles: quality with a capital "K":
As long as it looks good on a shelf
Achievement unlocked: Compatibility
2023
Atari buys AtariAge (strip returns to being in black and white):
Well, about those homebrews...
Those Alexa-enabled twerking Teddy Bears ain't cheap
Probably shouldn’t tell him about the 2600+
Always look on the bright side of life
Maybe the guys who bought Battlezone would want it
Everyone in town knew Mr. Webster
.-.. .- ... - -.-. .... .- -. -.-. .
Does it come with armpit speakers?
Spam Egg Spam Spam Bacon and Spam
Artie moves:
I bet the cat didn't have to put up with this
That's why it's pronounced "Oops"
We're nothing if not consistent
A bargain at half the price! (Artie's 400th episode - now half-off!)
And now we have to put them all back
So, a guy walks into a credit union... (first appearance of 4K TV)
I thought for sure it would've been "Milton" (Vectrex officially introduced as Ray)
TV or not TV, that is the question
Maybe try Weight Watchers first
An Artie the Atari Christmas:
And you didn't have to pay Apple $9.99 to read it (Super-sized Christmas Special, first appearance of Atari 2600"plus")
2024
Atari buys Intellivision:
That's okay, so has the real Atari
They’ll probably re-brand that a little bit
We always knew the Jag had to be good for something
The universe can handle only so much suck
Go, Cadamounts! Fight, fight, fight!!
There's still hope for the Gameband, too
I still have my “Free Battery Club” card, too
But there's so much more to sell off in an auction now
It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it
The Atari 2600 7800 "plus":
Time to start a new spreadsheet
Karateka hasn’t been getting a lot of playtime lately
“Pre-order is live, get yours in ’25”
Darth remembers James Earl Jones:
The hilarity resumes:
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